A Work in Progress

Content Warning: This section of the guide discusses anti-fat bias, body dysmorphia, and disordered eating.

The monster symbolizes how Will thinks society sees him and, eventually, how he sees himself. It is an embodiment of the anti-fat bias surrounding him. As an entity that is quite literally not human, the monster Will envisions also symbolizes how dehumanized he is as a fat person in the world.

The first drawing of the monster is on facing Pages 38 and 39. Will draws a series of partially completed self-portraits. In the first four, his profile remains the same while his eyes and mouth grow more “monstrous,” slowly morphing into an unrealistic scowl and a jagged mouth. Then, the curly hair in his profile begins to extend and grow into a monstrous, hairy head. The final picture shows a full monster. Together, the self-portraits show how Individual and Systemic Anti-Fat Bias has morphed Will’s self-image. This “monster” picture recurs. For instance, on Pages 42 and 43, Will draws several peers, each a different degree of thinness, and then the monster, which he labels “me.” He sees himself as monstrous and less human than his peers, a self-image he forms based on biased societal ideas about fat people.

As Will’s disordered eating increases, he often dialogues with a critical “inner voice” that represents his worst thoughts about himself. This voice is right-aligned, while Will’s genuine voice is left-aligned. The inner voice, which is informed by societal bias, directly calls Will a “MONSTER / always wanting / more” (137). At the end of the novel, Will still sees a “monster” when he looks in the mirror, but he tries to see what people like Markus see instead. This demonstrates the initial steps he is taking to improve his negative self-image.