Audition

The narrator tries to quell her tense feelings by placing a large order of pastries at the café. She and Hana then return to the apartment in silence, and Hana carries all the orders on her own. The narrator realizes that Hana’s presence has forced her into the unwelcome new role of the difficult mother-in-law. 

When the women reach the apartment, Hana takes control of the breakfast preparations. The narrator chooses to lie down, leading Xavier to remark that she has never enjoyed breakfast. The narrator is filled with contempt for this falsehood and resents her exclusion from the group. She speculates on Hana’s ultimate objective and wonders whether Hana was right to call the narrator’s relationship with Xavier “volatile.” As the narrator reflects on the events of the past month, she recognizes the strain that exists between her and Xavier. Tomas, meanwhile, has been trying to manage the emotions of both “mother” and “son” in order to facilitate a reconciliation and protect Xavier from the narrator.

Anne pushes back the shooting schedule of her latest project in order to go on holiday, and this allows Xavier and Hana to stay in the apartment during the daytime. Hana spends hours working at Xavier’s desk, while Xavier spends every day reading and looking at his phone. The narrator consoles herself with the idea that Xavier spent much of his adolescence this way, but the more she looks at him, the more she feels that she is looking at something wrong. Tomas never complains. He spends most of his days preparing food for Xavier and Hana or cleaning up after them, almost as if he were their servant. At one point, he brings them champagne, and they ask him for crackers as well.

The narrator gets upset with Tomas for behaving this way, but Tomas counters that they should be proud that Xavier is pursuing his ambitions. The narrator refutes this, citing Tomas’s behavior. Tomas refuses to listen and accuses the narrator of being overly critical. The narrator observes strain in Tomas’s expression. As Tomas serves Xavier and Hana their crackers, the narrator fantasizes about physically pushing him, and she realizes that this feeling is not new.

Tomas and Xavier stop meeting the narrator after every show. The narrator grows anxious as the final show approaches, even though she understands that it is impossible to sustain the consistency of her performance beyond the closure of the play. She starts to accept the inevitability of letting go of her role.

One night, the narrator has dinner with a group of her colleagues from the play, and her show of despondence unnerves her dinner companions. The narrator knocks over her wine glass, apologizing to the table and to the waiter who comes to clean up the mess. The incident gives her an opportunity to leave.

The narrator heads home and spends a moment looking at the building from outside. Through the windows, she sees that every light in their unit has been switched on. She is repulsed by the idea that her apartment has been transformed. She rushes into the building, worrying that there is a medical emergency unfolding upstairs. She hears thumping as she proceeds into the living room.

All of the surfaces in the living room have been cleared of their objects. Xavier stomps around the living room, smacking a pillow in one hand and calling for someone to “come out.” Tomas emerges on all fours and reports, “Not here!” The narrator demands to know where Hana is, but the two men look at her guiltily, as if they are children. Xavier claims that Hana is “out,” but that she will likely return at some point. Xavier chases a random noise into another room, leaving Tomas to explain that they are playing a game. Suddenly, Hana screeches from down the corridor, prompting Tomas and the narrator to follow Xavier into his study. Xavier and Tomas help Hana up; she has fallen out of the closet. The narrator sees Tomas’s hand fall on Hana’s chest, but Hana slaps it away teasingly when she realizes that their actions have caught the narrator’s gaze. 

Tomas takes Hana into an embrace, and this gesture distresses Xavier, who looks to the narrator for help. The narrator rushes in on his behalf, but halfway through, she feels herself wresting free of Xavier’s unspoken expectations. The narrator pulls Tomas away from Hana with enough strength that Tomas hits his head on the wall. She then drags Hana out of the apartment. She catches an unguarded expression of pity on Hana’s face, then closes the door.

Xavier is outraged by the narrator’s actions and goes after Hana. The narrator returns to Tomas to make sure that he is all right. Xavier returns to confront the two of them. The narrator asserts that their arrangement was never meant to last. Xavier blames the narrator, calling her “crazy.” The narrator observes how artificial his use of the word “Mom” is, so she disowns him. Tomas tries to defend Xavier, but he ultimately accedes to her wishes and tells Xavier to go. Xavier promises to call Tomas. As Xavier leaves, the narrator claps and declares, “It’s over,” transforming reality in her own mind so that Xavier is no longer family.

Tomas looks pleadingly at the narrator, reluctant to let go of his performance. Xavier looks at Tomas, hoping to convince him to carry on their performance without the narrator. The narrator knows, however, that Tomas will never leave her for Xavier. Accepting this reality, Xavier laughs, gathers his belongings, and leaves the apartment without telling them what he will do next.

In the aftermath of Xavier’s departure, the apartment falls under a shroud of silence. The narrator acknowledges that the arrangement was inherently flawed and deeply unstable at the point of its collapse.

Tomas and Xavier remain in contact in order to arrange the removal of Xavier’s other belongings. The narrator’s show ends quietly as she exhausts her engagement with her role. She wonders if Xavier might return, not to reconcile but to resume a relationship with her and Tomas.

Xavier does return to the apartment while both the narrator and Tomas are home. Xavier recoils in the narrator’s presence, fearing his lack of power over her. The narrator understands that Xavier was the master of the power play during their living arrangement, pushing Hana to become an antagonistic force. In the living room, Xavier gives Tomas a bundle of papers meant for the narrator, saying that it is a monologue meant for a woman much like the narrator: someone “who can no longer distinguish between what is real and what is not real” (194). Tomas suspects that Xavier wants the narrator to read it first. The narrator understands that both men are submitting themselves to her. She takes the script.

The novel jumps forward in time to show the narrator performing the play that Xavier has written for her. She muses that performance is only possible in a space where one mind is superimposed over another. In such a situation, the real self chooses how to act and observes the impact that the performed self has on its audience. The narrator recognizes that Xavier has the same ambition that she does and that the attention she is getting in this performance fills this long unaddressed need within her. Xavier, meanwhile, is already gaining this type of attention for himself. The narrator knows that the attention he has gained will fade and that Xavier will notice its absence. The narrator also knows that it is important for Xavier to learn this truth firsthand, rather than hearing it from her.