Audition

The narrator now thinks of the second bedroom in her apartment as Xavier’s “old” bedroom, creating a false backstory in her mind and growing saddened by the fictional idea that the bedroom was converted into a spare room after her “son” Xavier moved out. The narrator spends the next week preparing the apartment for Xavier’s arrival, but Tomas cautions her not to make the apartment feel too comfortable, or else Xavier will want to stay permanently.

Xavier arrives early on Saturday morning. Tomas helps Xavier to carry his bags into his “old bedroom.” Xavier has so many belongings that they barely fit into the room, so Tomas offers to put some of Xavier’s things in basement storage. However, Xavier insists on keeping all of his belongings in his room. Suddenly, the sight of Xavier moving in compels the narrator to leave the apartment. As she goes to pick up breakfast, she reflects on the sudden end of the intimacy that she and Tomas have shared. However, she encourages herself to focus instead on the fact that Xavier is coming “home”; she tells herself that they have always had enough space for him.

The narrator returns to find Xavier and Tomas in conversation in the kitchen. The narrator is taken aback by how intimate they appear as “father” and “son.” Xavier excuses himself from breakfast and goes to help Anne at work. His departure disappoints the narrator, so she gives him some of the pastries that she bought so that he can share them with Anne.

After Xavier heads out, the narrator observes that he left his scarf behind. She initially assumes that the scarf is a gift from Anne, but the longer she looks at it, the more she is able to convince herself that Xavier has owned this scarf all along. The narrator goes back to bed to rest for her upcoming performance. She passes by Xavier’s room and looks at his scattered belongings, then grows concerned that he must feel cold without his scarf. 

The narrator, Tomas, and Xavier all settle into a new domestic, faux-familial routine. Xavier always gets up early to prepare for work. He usually picks up breakfast for everyone and does the dishes and his laundry at every given opportunity. Tomas and the narrator feel a sense of pride in Xavier’s independence, especially when the narrator recalls how dependent he had been as a child. Nevertheless, the narrator also observes that Xavier does not appear to be fully comfortable in their living space. This manifests when Xavier constantly keeps asking where things are in the kitchen, as though he does not remember their placement from his childhood. 

Xavier keeps his room neat. He has a number of books that “remind” the narrator of his reading habits as a child (although in reality, she is merely tricking herself into “performing” the role of his mother—complete with memories and backstory.) Immersed in this mindset, she wonders why Xavier no longer carries books around like he used to when he was a child. When she confronts him about it, Xavier looks confused. He responds that he is too busy with work to find any time for reading. The narrator’s question weighs heavily on Xavier, and soon he starts filling his room with more books, which he shuffles through for the benefit of the narrator, even though he never visibly reads them.

The narrator does not initially share her observations and contemplations of Xavier with Tomas because she knows that they sound ridiculous. One morning, after Xavier has left, Tomas comments that he sometimes listens in on Xavier as he comes home or gets water to drink. This strikes the narrator as a tender admission, prompting her to share her concern that Xavier doesn’t feel comfortable around them. Tomas turns the observation back on her, pointing out that she was the one who appeared uneasy when Xavier moved in. He adds that Xavier has been so cautious because he doesn’t want to offend his hosts or do anything to lose their approval. Tomas encourages the narrator to affirm Xavier’s presence. The narrator is distraught and rebukes Tomas.

Tomas reassures the narrator that they are still adjusting to Xavier’s presence; he suggests that they let go of their intimate rituals, such as having breakfast together in the morning. The narrator feels scorned by the suggestion, having willfully forgotten the fact that this ritual began when she sought a way to assuage her guilt over her past infidelity. Tomas assures her that it is fine to let go of the breakfast ritual for the sake of enjoying Xavier’s company.

Tomas expresses his concern that Xavier doesn’t have a place in the apartment to work on his writing. The narrator is surprised, as she has never heard Xavier express any ambition for writing, but she accepts this development, which she perceives as aligning with Xavier’s reading habits. Tomas reveals that he has already ordered a work desk for Xavier. Once again, the narrator is surprised, given the size and cost of the desk. Tomas reminds her that they can afford it and that it will support Xavier’s goals and ambitions. The narrator observes that Tomas enjoys Xavier’s presence. They agree that he should be around them more.

Tomas has the desk placed under the large apartment window so that Xavier can have a scenic view as he works. Tomas has also ordered an expensive office chair for Xavier’s use. Xavier takes quickly to his new work area, moving his books to the desk. He works during the odd hours when he is at home, and this new dynamic puts both Tomas and the narrator at ease. Tomas is inspired to work at his own desk more often during the week, finding companionship in Xavier’s presence as the two work simultaneously. The impact of Xavier’s presence makes the narrator aware of how unhappy Tomas was before Xavier moved in. Now Tomas is happier and more energetic.

The narrator reflects on the irony that she had long been perceived as the threat to their marriage because of her infidelity and impulsiveness. Now it is clear that Tomas had jumped at the chance to admit new opportunities from outside their marriage and restore his spirit.