Before We Were Strangers

Encourage readers to connect the book’s themes and characters with their personal experiences.

1. How did you respond to the revelation that Grace and Matt had a child together? How did this climactic revelation alter your impressions of the characters and the trajectory of their love story?

2. How does Grace and Matt’s relationship compare and contrast with your own romantic experiences? Which aspects of their romance were least and most believable, and why?

3. If you were Grace, would you let Matt back into your life after so many years apart? Why or why not? How does your personal experience inform your regard for Grace’s decisions?

4. How do Grace’s and Matt’s family circumstances relate to their personal growth journeys? Do you relate to their family conflicts? How has your family life impacted your sense of self?

Examine the book’s relevance to societal issues, historical events, or cultural themes.

1. Analyze the role of setting to the novel’s overarching thematic explorations. How does New York City relate to Grace and Matt’s evolving romance and ongoing growth journeys? How does Carlino use the city as both a symbol and a narrative device? How would Grace and Matt’s story differ if set in an alternate location?

2. Discuss the significance of art to Grace and Matt’s relationship. How does Carlino use their creative practices to explore the power and possibilities of artistic passion?

Dive into the book’s structure, characters, themes, and symbolism.

1. Grace and Matt’s story explores notions of loss, time, and regret. Discuss how Grace and Matt’s separation and reunion relate to aging and the passage of time. How have they changed in their 15 years apart, and what has this time and distance both taken from and afforded them?

2. Explore the significance of Ash’s character. How would you describe her characterization, and what is her role in the text? Why do you think the Epilogue belongs to her narration and not Grace’s or Matt’s?

3. The novel is written from Matt’s and Grace’s alternating first-person points of view. Discuss the significance of this narrative vantage point to the novel’s themes and plot. How does hearing the perspectives of both protagonists affect how you experience the story?

4. Before We Were Strangers toggles between the past and present. Analyze the narrative and thematic significance of these temporal shifts. Consider how the form relates to Grace’s and Matt’s feelings for the past.