Before We Were Strangers

Grace is another of the novel’s protagonists and first-person narrators. As is true of Matt’s chapters, the chapters that include Grace’s first name in their titles are written from her first person perspective and depict episodes from her story. Like Matt, Grace is 36 in the present and in her early twenties in the past timeline.

Grace is an empathetic, caring, and sensitive character. She is a musician with a passion for cello, the singer Jeff Buckley, and the arts. She not only has her own creative practice, but also appreciates other mediums—most notably photography. When she meets Matt, she’s drawn to how he sees and captures complex emotions through the pictures he takes. She also likes that Matt’s taste in music aligns with hers. The two readily discover their Artistic Passion as a Source of Bonding—a point of connection that deepens their friendship from the start. 

Furthermore, Grace has a heart for Matt and feels comfortable around him. Matt offers her the kindness and comfort that she hasn’t found in her other relationships. Grace has a complex family situation that has limited her sense of self and life trajectory for some time. Her father has an alcohol addiction and he and her mom have historically struggled to make ends meet. Grace has assumed the role of the responsible, sacrificial adult in her family, shouldering these emotional and financial burdens even when she’s away at college. In Matt she finds a confidante, friend, and support system. He listens to her when she’s feeling stuck and alone and even offers her money when she’s in a financial bind.

Grace is a dynamic character who changes because of her experiences and relationships. When she’s in college, Grace often feels lonely and unsure of herself. She’s particularly insecure when it comes to her body and sexuality. Matt is the first person she’s had sex with and she’s afraid that she isn’t sexy or experienced enough for him. Matt constantly reassures her, but Grace also finds self-worth in her experiences after losing Matt. The end of their relationship compels her to be strong and confident on her own terms. She must make a life for herself and her daughter Ash whether Matt is there or not.

Grace therefore proves herself to be a capable and resilient person who can survive life’s challenges. At the same time, Grace’s reunion with Matt challenges her to face her fears and open her heart once more. She worries about Matt abandoning her again, but she also knows that being with him is what she’s always wanted. Letting Matt back into her life evidences her bravery; letting Matt into Ash’s life shows her trust.

Matt’s sections of the novel put particular emphasis on Grace’s beauty. When they first meet, Matt notices that Grace’s “eyebrows [frame] her big, almond-shaped eyes” and that she has “almost white-blond hair” and skin that “look[s] like it would taste sweet on the tongue” (24). Matt is physically drawn to Grace at the start of their relationship, but this initial attraction quickly grows into deep affection. What Matt comes to love about Grace isn’t just her appearance but her empathy, kindness, and open-heartedness—qualities that remain over the years.

Liz Hunt is a secondary character. She is Matt’s ex-wife. The two met when Matt first started working for National Geographic as an intern in South America. She was “the lead photographer on this project” and “personally picked [Matt] for the internship after she saw [his] portfolio” (188). When Matt first tells Grace about her over the phone, he describes her as “supercool” (188). The two work together throughout this project and later end up dating. Grace sees an article about their work together in a photography magazine and becomes jealous of their allegedly “fruitful union” (190). 

Over the years, Liz and Matt do develop an intimate relationship. They end up marrying and move back to New York together. Matt tries to create with Liz what he had with Grace, but Liz feels hurt that Matt is still caught up on Grace when they’re together. She therefore meddles in Matt and Grace’s relationship. When Grace repeatedly tries contacting Matt, she throws out her letters and finally writes to Grace (pretending to be Matt) telling her that Matt is over her and she needs to stop bothering him.

Liz acts as an antagonist in Matt’s storyline. He and Liz work together at the Manhattan National Geographic office, so Matt is constantly reminded of their former relationship. Liz cheated on him with his friend and coworker Brad years prior while Matt was back home caring for his ailing mother. Whenever he sees Liz, Matt is reminded of her betrayal. 

Matt’s anger with her only worsens when he discovers that she came between him and Grace. He ends up directing much of his frustration and confusion onto Liz and is actively hostile toward her in the workplace. The other characters authenticate Matt’s anger, because they also regard Liz as a meddling, nosy, and selfish person. She ultimately disappears from Matt’s life when Matt decides to work remotely to avoid her.

Tatiana is another of the novel’s secondary characters. She is Grace’s best friend in college, and they maintain their connection over the years following. Her character therefore features in both the narrative present and the narrative past.

Tatiana is a fun-loving character who also has a passion for music and adventure. When Grace and Matt start spending time together, Grace invites Matt into her and Tatiana’s friendship. Tatiana likes Matt but she’s also protective of Grace. She often challenges Grace’s decisions when she fears that Grace isn’t doing what’s best for her and is prioritizing Matt’s convenience over her own needs. Tatiana is the one who ends up helping Grace join Dan’s orchestra and go abroad when Matt lets her down.

Tatiana is also a reliable support system for Grace in the narrative present. She still lives in New York and spends regular time with Grace and her daughter Ash. Tatiana invests in Ash’s life and helps Grace whenever she needs it. She offers her a listening ear, gives her advice, and cares for Ash when she needs a break. Her character fulfills the stereotypical “best friend” role in Grace’s story.