Before We Were Strangers
52 pages • 1-hour read
Renee CarlinoBefore We Were Strangers
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Symbols & Motifs
New York City
Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of substance use.
New York City is the primary backdrop for the novel. This iconic urban location symbolizes possibility and exploration. When Matt first moves there from California, he feels overwhelmed and alone. At the same time, he hopes that this Eastern city will offer him the opportunities he couldn’t find on the West Coast. He soon discovers all the excitement that New York has to offer when he and Grace Starr become friends. The bustling metropolis grants Matt and Grace a place to explore, adventure, and change together. The way Matt describes New York in Chapter 6 captures the transformative role the setting plays in the protagonists’ personal and shared journeys: “New York has an energy that takes root inside of you […] When you hear her sound, when you breathe in her scent, you share it with all the people walking beside you […] Grace and I were falling in love with her together” (57-58).
In this passage and throughout the novel, Matt personifies New York City. He refers to the city using female pronouns, thus likening the setting to a woman. This personification enacts the city’s animated nature and captures its excitement and energy. The city does become the protagonists’ home, but it also challenges them to be bold and brave. The city facilitates their youthful resilience and curiosity.
In the narrative present, New York has changed, but Matt and Grace still rely on the city to understand themselves. The city is where they met and fell in love; it therefore offers them the possibility of reuniting and rekindling their relationship. They continue living here after they marry because New York has shepherded them through their experiences thus far and promises to for years to come.
Tattoos
The tattoos that Grace and Matt get together are symbolic of lasting connection and The Enduring Impact of First Love. Grace and Matt make the decision to get the tattoos shortly before Matt leaves New York for South America. The tattoos are literally permanent marks on Grace and Matt’s skin; they thus become reminders of their deep bond even when they’re apart.
When they go to the parlor, the protagonists “each [get] three words in wispy script” (182). Matt chooses the words that Grace puts “across the back of [her] neck” and Grace chooses the words that Matt puts “across his chest, right over his heart” (182). Grace’s tattoo says, “Green-eyed lovebird,” and Matt’s says, “just the ash,”—words that capture how Grace and Matt see and feel about each other, while also foreshadowing what Grace will name their daughter (Ash).
Grace and Matt’s tattoos remain even 15 years after their original love affair. When they go out for pie at the diner in the narrative present, Matt can’t “resist reaching out and running [his] fingers across the back of [Grace’s] neck”; he does so because he wants to touch the tattoo “to see if it [is] still there” (228). The tattoo is evidence that they did in fact fall in love and that their relationship was real. Matt’s tattoo remains too, which symbolizes his sustained love for Grace.
Washington Square Park
Washington Square Park is symbolic of connection. Grace and Matt regularly visit this green space in Manhattan throughout their time in college together. While there, they sit “together under [their] usual tree” (155), talk about life, lie on each other’s laps, smoke marijuana, and people watch. The park is the backdrop for many of Grace and Matt’s intimate interludes together. Traditionally, parks represent both nature and community, symbolic notions that apply to Grace and Matt’s story, too. They are surrounded by other people and thus participating in city life while in the park. At the same time, they’re connecting with nature, enjoying the outdoors, and getting to know one another better. The place memorializes their bond.
Senior House
Senior House is symbolic of the past. This is the name of the dorm where Grace and Matt both live during their senior year at NYU. Many of the scenes set in the narrative past take place in this setting. The dorm is where Grace and Matt’s relationship begins and develops.
Years later, the two return to Senior House on multiple occasions; they do so as a way to reconnect with the people they were when they first knew each other. Ash even incorporates Senior House into the scavenger hunt she makes for her parents at the novel’s end. Returning to the dorm lets Grace and Matt confront, reconcile with, and appreciate their past experiences.
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