48 pages • 1-hour read
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Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of child death, mental illness, substance use, emotional abuse, sexual content, sexual violence, and graphic violence.
Jamie, the curator from Hackney Space, pressures Irina to submit materials for the photobook. Reviewing her archive, Irina reflects on the unproductive years that followed the abrupt end of her MA and her return home. After the incident with the boy she killed during her studies, she stopped photographing men and attempted fashion photography, which her tutors criticized as commercial and regressive. She eventually stopped attending university and briefly worked freelance. Her parents made her return home, where she worked at a bar for months while experiencing depression.
Her post-London photography career began when she photographed a man with a large facial birthmark. During that shoot, she maintained professional distance and avoided physical contact, producing acceptable but unremarkable work. Reviewing her entire recent body of work, she concludes that all the photographs are merely adequate, lacking distinction.
On Friday, Irina goes out with Flo’s friends and Finch, consuming significant quantities of cocaine and alcohol and boasting about her upcoming exhibition. The evening ends around nine the next morning with her vomiting and taking a sedative while Flo monitors her.
On Wednesday, Irina’s 29th birthday, Finch and Flo throw her a small celebration. Nigel sends money, but Yvonne refuses contact, still angry over Irina quitting her bar job. Flo bakes a cake. When Flo kisses Irina, Irina considers a relationship but feels nothing and rejects her.
The next day, Irina takes the train to London and meets Sera Pattison, a former art school friend now living in New York and producing work under the name Serotonin, for a meal. Sera reveals that she recommended Irina for the exhibition after seeing her work, contradicting Jamie’s claim that she and Irina previously met. Sera frames this as helping working-class talent, which enrages Irina. Irina goes to the bathroom, violently hits her head and face, then composes herself and threatens to kill Sera if she ever reveals that she facilitated the opportunity.
At the gallery, Jamie shows Irina her film and explains the exhibition layout. Downstairs, Irina meets Remy Hart, an emerging young artist, who complains loudly about Irina having more wall space and a film screening. When Remy’s uncle, Stephen, fails to intervene by phone, Remy throws his iPhone at Irina’s framed photograph, shattering the glass. Uncle Stephen arrives, makes Remy apologize, pays for a replacement frame, and purchases all six of Irina’s photographs for 3,000 pounds each. He invites Irina to dinner on Saturday.
Eddie sends Irina an apologetic email before the private viewing, saying he misses her and hopes she will respond.
The morning of the private viewing, Irina visits the gallery and directs the staff to rearrange her photographs in a specific sequence that creates a narrative. She then goes to Selfridges, where she purchases two expensive dresses, accessories, and lingerie.
That evening, Irina arrives at the private viewing intoxicated and wearing a revealing plum-colored dress. Uncle Stephen introduces her to collectors and gallery owners, and she distributes business cards to each of them. She propositions Laurie Hirsch, a married lesbian artist, and becomes increasingly drunk. An older critic tells her the film demonstrates bold engagement with consent and discomfort.
While watching Irina’s film, Remy approaches and touches her inappropriately. She gives him her hotel information. At the hotel, she ties Remy to the bed, gags him with socks, and uses a letter opener to cut and prod him while taking cocaine from his wallet. She photographs the injuries on her phone. When she goes to the bathroom to vomit, Remy escapes. After cleaning herself up, she goes to a nearby Tesco, where she mistakes a cashier for Eddie and alludes to their violent encounter.
The next day, Remy texts her casually, mentioning he went to the emergency room but did not need stitches, making light of the encounter. Irina is disturbed that he treats the violent assault as sexual rough play. She also discovers she sent Eddie photographs of Remy’s injuries the previous night while drunk. Eddie responds by calling her a “reptile” and asking her not to contact him again. Irina becomes frustrated that her violent actions seem to leave no lasting consequences or recognition of danger.
Irina spends an entire day in her hotel room, experiencing auditory hallucinations of bells and breaking glass. Irina has brunch alone, then calls Flo and asks whether the things she does actually happen and persist. Flo says she sounds unstable and reveals she has reconciled with her ex-boyfriend.
That evening, Uncle Stephen takes Irina to an expensive Japanese restaurant in Chelsea. Irina wears her transparent dress, which makes other diners uncomfortable. During the meal, Uncle Stephen dominates the conversation with questions about northern England and monologues about his professional life. When Irina tells him she killed a boy, he dismisses it as dark northern humor. She continues to experience visual distortions throughout dinner, as Uncle Stephen’s face transforms into those of her previous victims and models.
Irina crushes a champagne flute in her hand, but finds her hand and the glass are both intact a moment later. She then smashes the champagne flute into Uncle Stephen’s head, injuring her own hand and causing him to bleed and scream. The restaurant staff tend to him while she walks out. She texts Flo that she believes she assaulted her date.
Walking barefoot through London, Irina encounters a distressed man on a park bench in Battersea. She sits with him, touches his face with her bloody hand, and tells him that nothing matters or lasts. She asks if he has ever modeled, puts her business card in his mouth, and trips him when he tries to leave. She then walks to a pond, removes her clothing, and enters the water hoping to find the skull of the boy she killed years ago. She finds only garbage, confirming once again that physical evidence of her actions always disappear.
Irina’s return to the London art world initiates a crisis of professional legitimacy, deepening the theme of Class Anxiety Shaping One’s Aspirations. The revelation that her exhibition opportunity was arranged by her affluent friend Sera as a form of charity for “working-class talent” dismantles Irina’s sense of achievement, making her feel that her talent and perspective aren’t enough to merit a place in the exhibition. This indignation is compounded by her confrontation with Remy Hart, a fellow artist she dismisses as a privileged nepotism beneficiary from the Home Counties. The friction between Irina’s northern, working-class origins and the London-centric art world frames her struggle for recognition as a class-based battle. Even her commercial success, with patron Uncle Stephen purchasing her exhibit collection, is filtered through a lens of condescension; he frames her as a “discovery,” a “diamond in the rough” (281), reinforcing her status as an outsider to be consumed, rather than an equal to be respected. Her constant invalidation fuels the explosive rage that motivates her actions in these chapters.
This period marks a critical escalation in bodily violence, as Irina’s actions become increasingly public yet fail to generate the responses she craves. Her violent assault on Remy in her hotel room, documented with phone photos, is intended as an act of absolute dominance, yet it is met with a casual text that reframes it as consensual rough play. This infuriates Irina, who desperately needs her violence to be recognized as a genuine threat. The pattern continues when she confesses to murder during dinner with Uncle Stephen, who dismisses her admission as a joke, calling it “dark, northern humour” (286). In a world that refuses to acknowledge the severity of her transgressions, her violence loses its power to create tangible consequences. Her actions are consistently misinterpreted as performance, kink, or humor, stripping her of the very control she seeks. This pushes her toward a climactic act of public violence against Uncle Stephen.
Once again, these chapters prominently feature the motif of glass, which track the growing unreliability of Irina’s perception. This begins with a literal shattering when Remy throws his phone at her framed photograph, shattering the image that represents her breakthrough into London’s cultural elite. Later on, Irina experiences recurring auditory hallucinations of breaking glass, which signals her continuing mental health crisis. The boundary between the imagined and the real dissolves completely during her dinner with Uncle Stephen. After hallucinating a shattered flute in her hand and glass in her own eye, she makes the vision manifest by smashing a real champagne flute into Stephen’s head. This violent act represents the moment her perceptions and projections break through into physical reality, explicitly linking her personal crisis to her capacity for external harm. By hurting her new potential benefactor, she marks a critical point of no return in her career and in her perception of the world.
Ultimately, these chapters culminate in a desperate but failed search for empirical proof of her own existence and actions, developing the theme of The Unreliability of Memory. When she calls Flo to ask if the things she does “happen, and do they last?” (280), her questions underscore both her dependence on Flo, whom she has repeatedly treated as an object for her emotional satisfaction, and the unreliability of her perspective on reality. Her final pilgrimage to a pond in Battersea Park is a literal search for evidence. When she finds only a “knot of plastic bags and pond weed,” her most definitive act of violence is invalidated, leaving her without the tangible proof she needs to anchor her memories of the past to her identity. The concluding observation, “It isn’t him. It never is” (289), confirms her entrapment in a solipsistic loop where her past remains unsubstantiated. Her most extreme transgressions dissolve into the ambiguous landscape of her memory.



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