Call It What You Want

Alissa DeRogatis wrote Call It What You Want from a place of personal experience, intending to validate the often-dismissed pain of undefined romantic connections. In the book’s author Q&A, she reveals, “My dating life has been a string of ‘almost relationships.’ For so long, I was embarrassed and insecure about it because I never felt good enough for commitment” (277). This history directly inspired the novel’s central conflict. DeRogatis’s mission was to create the book she needed in her youth, a motivation reflected in the dedication, “For a younger version of myself” (v). This authorial context frames the novel not just as a fictional story but as a targeted act of empathy. The narrative is crafted to give voice to those who have felt the sting of a relationship that never officially began but still ended in heartbreak.

The protagonist Sloane’s emotional journey mirrors the author’s stated insecurities. Sloane repeatedly questions her own worth, wondering if she is the reason for Ethan’s inability to commit, culminating in her tearful question, “Am I not enough?” (85). This parallels DeRogatis’s desire to write for her younger self and others who have felt similarly inadequate. The “Open Letter to the Guy Who Didn’t Want to Date Me” included in the novel functions as the ultimate expression of this goal, articulating a specific type of grief and offering a sense of closure. Understanding the author’s personal motivation enriches the reading experience, highlighting the book’s role as a cathartic narrative for a common, modern form of emotional distress.