Call It What You Want

Call It What You Want (2024) is the debut New Adult contemporary romance novel by Alissa DeRogatis. The story follows college student Sloane Hart through a multi-year “almost relationship” with the emotionally withdrawn Ethan Brady, a tumultuous connection that follows them from their senior year into their post-graduate lives in New York City. The novel explores themes including The Fallacy of Saving a Partner Through Love, Defining Self-Worth Beyond a Relationship Label, and The Lingering Effects of Childhood Trauma on Intimacy. DeRogatis has explained that she drew from her own history with “situationships” to write the novel, aiming to validate a common yet often dismissed form of modern heartbreak. The book, originally self-published in 2023, became a “BookTok” sensation before being acquired by Sourcebooks Landmark in 2024.

This guide is based on the 2024 Sourcebooks Landmark edition.

Content Warning: The source material and this guide contain depictions of emotional abuse, substance and alcohol use, and sexual content.

Plot Summary

The narrative opens in December 2018 with Sloane Hart in her New York apartment, reeling from her breakup with Ethan Brady the previous night. She recalls how their two-year, undefined “almost” relationship ended when he told her, “I can’t do this anymore…” (1, 255). In her shock, she dropped a wineglass, severely cutting her hand. The story then flashes back to August 2016, the beginning of Sloane’s senior year at Wilmington College. She meets Ethan on the campus shuttle and discovers they are neighbors in the same apartment complex. From Ethan’s perspective, he is immediately attracted to Sloane but reflects on his inability to form healthy relationships due to his childhood trauma. Sloane and her roommates, Lauren Ellis and Jordan Coleman, later go to a local bar where they meet Ethan and his roommates, Graham Clark and Jake. The two groups return to Sloane’s apartment, where she and Ethan share their first kiss.

As the semester progresses, Lauren and Graham begin dating, solidifying the two friend groups. At a party at Ethan’s fraternity, Pi Kappa Alpha, Sloane and Ethan grow closer, sharing an intimate conversation on his balcony and spending the night together in his bed. His feelings for her become more apparent when, at a fraternity volleyball tournament, he becomes distracted watching her talk to another fraternity brother, Reese Thompson, causing his team to lose. During fall break, with their roommates away, Sloane and Ethan have sex for the first time and spend the entire weekend in bed. However, cracks in their undefined relationship begin to show. At a Christmas party, a drunk Sloane confronts Ethan after seeing him give his number to another girl. He dismisses her anger by stating, “It’s not like I have a girlfriend” (63). They argue but reconcile, leaving their status ambiguous.

During a weekend trip to Graham’s family cabin in Asheville, Ethan admits he once cheated on a past girlfriend, which upsets Sloane. Later, he confides in her that being at the cabin is difficult because it brings up painful childhood memories of the “perfect family” (71) he never had. Internally, Ethan reflects on his traumatic past, having lived with the Clark family for years, and concludes he is incapable of giving Sloane the love she deserves, deciding he must end things. Back on campus, during Sloane’s birthday celebration, Ethan is distant and fails to care for her when she gets sick. A few days later, he breaks up with her in his car, insisting he cannot be the boyfriend she wants.

A month later, Sloane attends the Pike formal with Reese. She has a tense run-in with Ethan, who later texts her, admitting that seeing her with someone else made him realize his mistake. He asks to try again, but still without an official relationship title, and Sloane agrees. As graduation nears, Lauren secures a teaching job in New York and breaks up with Graham, feeling they are better as friends. Sloane accepts an assistant position at a New York publication called The Gist. On Sloane’s last day in Wilmington, Ethan plans a special day for them and promises to visit her in a month.

Ethan’s visit to New York ends poorly after he refuses to let Sloane post a photo of them together. Upon his return to Wilmington, he breaks up with her again, this time via a long text message. Devastated, Sloane calls Graham, who finally reveals the truth about Ethan’s past. When Ethan was 13, his parents were arrested for a fatal DUI. His father received a 10-year prison sentence, and his mother, after serving a shorter sentence, abandoned him, remarried, and started a new family. At work, Sloane’s boss, Annie, encourages her to write about her heartbreak. Three months later, her article, “An Open Letter to the Guy Who Didn’t Want to Date Me,” goes viral, earning her a promotion to staff writer. Reese, who also lives in New York, contacts her after reading the article, and they begin a relationship.

By January 2018, Sloane and Reese are in a happy, committed relationship. Their stability is shattered when Sloane discovers that Ethan has moved into her apartment building, a coincidence arranged by Reese’s roommate, Blake King, who is an old fraternity brother of Ethan’s. Sloane becomes distant and, after a drunken night out, cheats on Reese with Ethan. The situation escalates when Reese and Ethan have an awkward encounter in the building’s elevator. Reese is furious that Sloane hid the truth from him. They reconcile, and she tells him she loves him. However, during a weekend with her old roommates, Sloane gets drunk again and calls Ethan, and they sleep together.

Over the following months, Sloane is consumed by guilt and confesses to Reese that she cheated. He ends their relationship, stating he cannot compete with the “ghost” (207) of her past. Sloane immediately goes to Ethan’s apartment, and they fall back into their familiar, non-committal dynamic. The dynamic remains fraught with tension. During a visit from Graham and his new fiancée, Emily, the group has a tense run-in with a drunk Reese at a bar. Later, Sloane confronts Ethan about their future, and he accuses her of habitually turning good nights into bad ones. He also reveals that his father, recently released from prison, has been trying to reconnect. For Thanksgiving, Ethan goes to Wilmington alone to meet his father, leaving Sloane to spend the holiday by herself. Upon his return, he ghosts her for a week. When they finally confront each other, he officially ends their relationship, leading to the scene from the prologue where Sloane cuts her hand on a broken wineglass. After he takes her to the hospital, they say a final goodbye outside their building.

Nine months later, in September 2019, Sloane has moved on. She lives alone in a new apartment with her cat, Ollie, and runs a successful blog. She attends Graham and Emily’s wedding with Lauren as her date. There, she sees Ethan, who is a groomsman. They share a polite, knowing look from across the room, acknowledging their shared history but accepting their separate futures. Sloane reflects that while their relationship was painful and unconventional, it was her first true love, and it ultimately taught her how to love herself. She concludes that she can call it what she wants, and for her, it was love.