Call It What You Want

The motif of writing and journaling charts Sloane’s transformation from seeking external validation to achieving self-actualization, making it central to the theme of defining self-worth beyond a relationship. Initially, writing is a private coping mechanism, a way to process the overwhelming feelings Sloane cannot otherwise articulate. She explains to Ethan that “[w]hen [she] ha[s] a lot of overwhelming feelings that [she] do[esn’t] know how to process, [she] write[s] them down” (32). This establishes writing as her sanctuary, a place where she can make sense of her anxieties and the emotional turmoil of her undefined relationship. For much of the novel, her writing remains a background element, a private practice that reflects her internal state but does not yet empower her in the external world. It is a tool for survival, underscoring her initial reliance on Ethan for validation.

The motif evolves when Sloane channels her heartbreak into her work. Encouraged by her editor, Annie, to find emotional depth, Sloane pens “An Open Letter to the Guy Who Didn’t Want to Date Me.” Annie advises her, “Just don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and put these feelings into words. You’d be surprised at how cathartic it is. Plus, it might just help you find that depth you’ve been searching for” (143).