34 pages • 1 hour read
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Part 2 introduces the core conflict in Gilda’s story—hiding her true identity as a lesbian atheist under the guise of being a heterosexual Catholic woman at her job as the church’s secretary. Gilda learns that previous secretary Grace left behind several things in her office—an unfinished romance novel and emails from a friend, Rosemary, who doesn’t know Grace died. The romance novel contains Grace’s suicide letter, which will be discovered in Part 5. The thought of breaking the news of Grace’s death to Rosemary sends Gilda into a panic. Gilda pretends to be Grace and exchanges emails with Rosemary in the hopes of keeping the other woman happy. Rosemary’s husband dies in the course of their correspondence, making Gilda feel as if she can never reveal Grace’s death.
Gilda’s brother Eli’s mental health worsens as he spends most of his time drunk and stealing medication and money from the family. Eli’s mental health is a point of contention between Gilda and her parents: Gilda wants them to get help for Eli, who lives with them, while her parents think it’s offensive to suggest that their son struggles with his mental health. Gilda’s mental health also continues to worsen as her apartment becomes dirtier, and she can’t shower because the activity is too daunting. Gilda’s job worsens her mental health because she isn’t free to be her authentic self.
Police begin investigating Grace’s death, due to a potential connection to a nurse named Laurie Damon, who’s been accused of killing her senior citizen patients in assisted suicides. Barney, a member of the church, becomes convinced that Laurie killed Grace and hounds the police about Grace’s death.
Gilda, as an eligible bachelorette, is roped into talking to a man named Giuseppe at the behest of one of the congregation members. She fears turning down a first date with the man, as people may discover she’s a lesbian. Despite Gilda’s lack of interest, Giuseppe remains interested and continues pursuing her. Part 2 ends with an explosive fight between Gilda and her parents because they let Eli drive away while drunk and don’t seem bothered by his behavior.
Part 2 sets up the rising conflict of the novel. It establishes each conflict that comes to a head in Parts 3-4: Gilda’s relationship with her new job, her ruse with Rosemary, her forced relationship with Giuseppe, her declining mental health, and her strained familial relationships. Gilda believes living inauthentically and swallowing sadness is “how people stay alive” (45)—as she’s well aware of how people with anti-LGBTQ+ sentiments see her and struggles to fit in at places like her current workplace. This view on survival is unsustainable: Gilda’s inevitable implosion is directly caused by her belief that she must be inauthentic and self-destructive to survive. This is highlighted by the scene in which Barney observes Gilda’s misery at her job (45). Gilda’s ruse unravels, despite it being in service of keeping her apartment and paying her bills. Gilda’s mental health and need for financial stability are at odds: She can’t have both within her current situation and with her current view of life, as per the themes of Living Authentically and Mental Health and Financial Precarity. The precarious nature of Gilda’s situation criticizes social factors that force people to sacrifice one outcome for another.
Gilda’s relationship with her mental health is mirrored in (and partially caused by) how her and Eli’s parents treat their children’s struggles. She repeatedly tells other people that she’s fine, even when she’s visibly struggling (46, 67, 72, 105). Gilda deflects people’s concerns and questions in favor of other subjects, such as talking to Eleanor about tortoises when asked about her wellbeing (105). When Gilda’s father had a mental health crisis when she was a child, she told her neighbor about his struggles and the neighbor sent him a card wishing him well. Both of Gilda’s parents exploded in anger at what they saw as betrayal, feeling humiliated for their family. Gilda’s father, like Gilda herself, insisted he was “fine” throughout his ordeal (63-64). When Gilda tries to tell her mother that Eli is unwell, her mother instead talks about how much overtime her father is putting into his work. Gilda’s mother implies that her husband’s ability to work overtime means his children can’t possibly struggle with their mental health: If one’s parents lack mental health conditions, then their children can’t possibly have them to begin with (115). Gilda and Eli’s parents continually dismiss their children’s mental health to an absurd degree, such as pretending not to hear Eli vomit next to their bedroom (50). The family’s intergenerational dismissal of mental health and suffering has molded Gilda and Eli to respond similarly. Gilda can’t share how she genuinely feels because she believes these topics can’t be discussed or alleviated by outside help—which makes her attempt to seek mental health services in Part 1 significant. She reflects the attitude of her parents, their dismissal, even when she realizes their behavior is actively harmful to Eli.
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