Fear of Flying

Isadora says that she loves and hates her mother, Jude, with such vehemence that it’s difficult for her to recognize the actual woman. They need each other, and the intensity of this feeling makes them want to “strangle each other with love” (201). Jude taught Isadora that to be “ordinary” is the worst possible fault. As a teen, Isadora yearned to be ordinary just as Jude longed for the unusual. Isadora wishes Jude could have channeled her anger into a successful artistic career rather than her fashion and decorating choices. Nevertheless, Isadora recognizes that her mother criticizes anyone who enjoys their work or reaches a certain level of success, and she actually prefers money and prizes over originality. Jude has no concern for the “humble doing of the thing” and espouses a belief that life is nasty and short, and the desire for money and power is universal. Thus, Isadora feels she could never please her mother: not by becoming an artist or rejecting an artist’s life, nor by rebelling against or fulfilling her mother’s ideals.

On the other hand, Isadora says, she has another mother: one who is soft, nurturing, and affectionate, who believed Isadora was a great writer at age eight, who was so much fun, who never yelled.