Fear of Flying

Fear of Flying (1973) is author Erica Jong’s first novel, considered by many to be semiautobiographical. Like her protagonist, Isadora Wing, Jong was married multiple times, published a book of poetry, and earned degrees from Barnard College and Columbia University. She also underwent psychoanalysis, a process in which Isadora has been engaged for many years. Isadora is married to an analyst, and the novel follows her as she attempts to reconcile her desire for sexual freedom and passion with a wish for love and security. Isadora is very aware of the sexual double standards that plague women and finds fault with society—and her own mother—for failing to teach her how to be a woman. She battles terrible guilt whenever she prioritizes her needs and develops a persistent and harsh inner critic. Although Jong has won several awards for her work, Fear of Flying did not receive any major literary awards; it did, however, become an international bestseller, translated into more than 40 languages.

This guide refers to the Penguin 50th anniversary edition (2023).

Content Warning: The source material and guide feature depictions of antisemitism, racism, gender discrimination, disordered eating,  sexual content, cursing, illness, death, rape, graphic violence, mental illness, and substance use.

Plot Summary

Isadora is flying to Vienna with 117 psychoanalysts, though flying terrifies her, for the opening of the Freud museum. Six of the analysts have treated her, and she’s married to one: Bennet. Isadora was asked to write a satirical magazine article about the gathering. She describes her marriage as boring. No one warned her that marriage would make her think of herself as half of something. It’s acceptable for men to be single but not women. Isadora fantasizes about the “zipless fuck”: a sexual encounter characterized by anonymity, brevity, and a lack of guilt. She recalls one analyst who called her “aggressive” when she insisted that “femininity” was created by men to subdue women. 

At the conference, English analyst Adrian Goodlove flirts with her. She realizes that Adrian could be her “zipless fuck.” While having sex with Bennett, she fantasizes about Adrian, which makes her feel disloyal. She’s considered getting pregnant but doesn’t want to give up control of her life. Her mother, Jude, resents her, claiming she’d have been a famous artist were it not for Isadora and her sisters. Jude once said that, unlike men, women must choose between being a parent and being an artist. Isadora feels that being an artist is her destiny.

Isadora’s older sister, “Randy,” has nine children and lives in Beirut with her husband. Isadora’s younger sisters, Lalah Justine and Chloe Camille, are married and have children. Isadora knows she should be proud of her published poetry, but her family thinks she’s a childless failure. She feels like a hostage of biology, society, and her fear. Before living in Heidelberg with Bennett, Isadora was never “self-conscious” about being Jewish; then Bennett was drafted and they moved to post-war Germany, where she felt very Jewish. 

Isadora feels torn between Bennett and Adrian, who represent conflicting parts of herself. She wants a life of security and excitement, but this doesn’t seem possible. She feels like a hypocrite for sleeping with Bennett when she doesn’t want to and walking away from Adrian, with whom she does want to have sex. The next night, Isadora and Adrian kiss. She can’t imagine herself single, but she knows being married is only marginally better than being single. She and Adrian try to have sex, but he experiences erectile dysfunction. She believes men created the myth of female inadequacy because female sexual readiness makes them feel inferior.

Isadora is in love with Adrian. She’s been searching for love since she and her best friend, Pia, lamented male inadequacy at 16. In college, they went to each other for intellectual stimulation and only sought out men for sex. They realized that the women they admired were brave artistically but not in life. The next morning, Bennett accuses Isadora of infidelity. She remembers when they traveled from Heidelberg to Paris and she asked why he made her feel so lonely; he said she did it to herself. She accused him of punishing her. The more she pleaded, the colder he seemed. The next morning was Christmas, and it was fine, but everything went wrong on their way back to Heidelberg. Then Bennett’s grandfather died, and Isadora knew he’d blame her. He drove her away, so she turned to writing. Three years later, she published her first book of poetry.

Whenever Isadora is with Bennett, she swears it’s over with Adrian, but the reverse occurs when she sees Adrian. Her sex with Adrian is unfulfilling because of his erectile dysfunction. Bennett is a better lover, and Isadora realizes she’s more valuable to Bennett now that Adrian wants her. Bennett says she’s attracted to Adrian because he’s like her father. He wants to take Isadora home to restart analysis, and he wants her to get pregnant. Later, Adrian accuses her of avoiding fun. She feels guilty all the time and believes this is just women’s plight. She feels like she betrays both men. One night, Bennett bursts into Adrian’s hotel room, strips, and has sex with Isadora right next to Adrian. The next morning, Adrian drives them to their hotel in silence.

Isadora loves and hates her mother. Jude taught Isadora that being “ordinary” is the worst fate. As a teen, Isadora yearned to be ordinary as Jude longed to be unusual. Isadora could never seem to please her mother. On the other hand, Jude could be nurturing and affectionate at times. She believed in free love, but she told Isadora to delay sex to retain her value. Because Jude believed that a woman cannot be a mother and an artist, Isadora came to feel that femaleness is a trap.

Isadora tries to choose between Bennett and Adrian, but she cannot. A former analyst points out that her guilt is preventing her from enjoying her life. Isadora decides to leave with Adrian. They are often drunk, and she is typically depressed or elated. She tells Adrian about her first husband, Brian. They dated happily for four years, but after they married at his insistence, their relationship rapidly deteriorated, and then Brian stopped wanting sex. Soon, he stopped sleeping and began thinking he was Jesus. One day, delusion overwhelmed him, and he raped Isadora and tried to strangle her. Brian was committed, and Isadora felt happier without him. Brian’s parents took him back to California with them. Ultimately, Isadora felt she was a traitor for choosing herself over Brian.

After Brian, Isadora dated Charlie Fielding, who thought of himself as a misunderstood genius. Isadora was in love with Charlie, who played the piano, like her father. Then she found out he was in love with another woman in Paris. When they traveled to Europe, she felt certain he planned to meet this woman. They parted ways, and he dumped her via letter. Isadora met Pia in Italy, and they slept with “every man” in Florence. Next, she went to visit Randy in Beirut. It was so hot that they rarely left the apartment. Chaos reigned. Randy’s husband, Pierre, snuck into Isadora’s bedroom and tried to initiate sex. He tried it with Lalah and Chloe too. Isadora went to Rome, where she had a fun week-long tryst; it felt like her id and superego had declared a truce. That autumn, she met Bennett. Upon hearing this, Adrian tells her to “salvage” her life. She wants to feel “whole” and believes being in love will help. Isadora longs for Bennett and an “ordinary” and safe life as a wife and mother. However, she also recalls how lonely she felt with Bennett.

Isadora misses writing. She stands up to Adrian when he wants to swing with another couple. She says she tried to live out her fantasies, but living in ecstasy doesn’t get one closer to real freedom. Later, Isadora accuses Adrian of an indifference that makes life meaningless. He says she ruined the trip, and she tells him to drop her off at the Paris airport. Isadora plans to find Bennett. She learns that he went to London. Adrian confesses that he is meeting his wife and children tomorrow. Isadora is shocked by his betrayal, and he laughs at her anger. She reproaches him for his hypocrisy: accusing her of privileging “safety” and then doing the same thing himself. Without him, she is truly free, which is scary and exciting.

Isadora wrestles with her suitcase, full of things that prove she isn’t ordinary. She remembers how “vulnerab[le]” it is to be a woman. She finds a hotel room but begins to panic. She longs to be “possessed” by a man but knows she’d feel “trapped” if she were. She rereads her journal, remembering how lonely she was with Bennett. She stops finding fault with herself and realizes she hasn’t been disloyal to Bennett but loyal to herself. Marriage confuses dependency with intimacy. She doesn’t want to return to that.

Isadora gets her period overnight, but she’s out of tampons. She makes herself a “diaper” from one of Bennett’s shirts. She realizes that she cut herself off from everyone to prove that she’s free, but she hasn’t felt free. She washes and goes for tampons, realizing that her period is a new start. She doesn’t need others to complete her, she thinks; she is complete in herself. She will not sacrifice herself for self-destructive passion. She recalls Adrian’s suggestion that she stop chasing love and just live her life, so she travels to London. On the way, she recognizes that the prospect of a “zipless fuck” no longer tempts her. Isadora finds Bennett’s hotel, and the clerk gives her a key to his room. She runs a bath, finding that she likes her body now. Her fear is gone. She’s not sure what Bennett will say, but she won’t grovel. Then, Bennet walks in.