In Flesh, masculinity manifests as a fragile identity built around physical violence and control, and István leans on this dynamic as a coping mechanism to ward off the powerlessness and emotional inadequacy that he wordlessly fears. Although this internal conflict is apparent only through implication, István’s actions reveal that his dependence on seeming dominant is essentially a self-destructive strategy; this dynamic is most prominent whenever István impulsively uses physical force to solve social or emotional complications that require a subtler, more sensitive approach. 

This self-destructive tendency of his first arises in his adolescence. After his older lover rejects him, he forcefully seeks her out at her apartment, but when her husband confronts him, he engages in a scuffle on the stairwell that soon has deadly consequences. This eruption of aggression grows from a toxic combination of romantic rejection and unprocessed emotional turmoil, and the man’s death becomes a formative experience that predisposes István to use violence to attempt to regain control over the problems in his life. 

His time in Iraq formalizes this impulse. During his time in juvenile detention, which precedes his military service, he discovers that he has “an aptitude for fighting” (38), and when he goes on to showcase these skills in the armed forces, the army rewards him with a medal for bravery. However, his five-year tour also creates new trauma that shapes how he handles conflict throughout the rest of his life. This violence-prone identity extends to his experiences in London, where he rises from a nightclub bouncer to become a high-end bodyguard, relying on his physical presence and his capacity for force to succeed in these professions. This surface-level persona helps him to claim a measure of power and social standing in London society’s upper echelons, but his true inner self—the confused teenager forever saying “okay” and agreeing to exploitative arrangements—continues to dominate his decision-making. 

The limits of this construction appear when he faces challenges that strength cannot resolve. At the Gagosian gallery, Thomas humiliates István by exposing his financial dependency and calling him a thief, but no matter how cutting the boy’s insults may be, István is in a very public, high-stakes arena that will not countenance his instinctively violent response. Even so, logic holds no sway over his actions, and with his authority and social position stripped away, István falls back on the only strategy he trusts. His assault on Thomas thus becomes a final failed attempt to assert dominance over his stepson—and by extension, over the life that he has fallen into in London. However, this attack only destroys the world that he has managed to build. With István’s social downfall, Szalay shows that a version of masculinity grounded in physical power cannot protect István from the emotions and hierarchies that he struggles to navigate. When that power no longer works, his identity gives way, revealing the vulnerability it was meant to hide.