73 pages • 2 hours read
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Calli begins the novel from a place of hiding: She doesn’t tell her classmates, her friends, or her teachers about her Tourette syndrome, and she actively tries to suppress or hide her tics. Though the novel is told mostly through Calli’s point of view, Terry doesn’t introduce Tourette syndrome by name to the reader until page 19. Terry develops the theme of Neurodiversity and Self-Acceptance through Calli’s journey from hiding to confidence over the course of the novel.
When Calli first describes her Tourette syndrome, she concludes the poem saying, “Now my Tourette’s / is harder to hide, / but I have to try / if I want to make friends” (19-20). When Call was first diagnosed with Tourette syndrome at eight, her doctor advised her not to tell anyone for fear of being misjudged, and Calli’s mom has continued to affirm Calli hiding her Tourette’s. She reminds Calli on the first day at this new school, “[D]on’t tell anyone about—” and Calli cuts her off, “My Tourette’s? / Yeah, Mom. I know” (26). Calli chooses her clothes for school based on how distracting the clothes can be from her tics. Calli has designed her life at school around hiding, and because of this, she hasn’t been able to fully be herself at all the schools she’s been to so far.
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