How to Giggle: A Guide to Taking Life Less Seriously

Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of sexual content, gender discrimination, and mental illness.

The authors argue that women should prioritize their own growth over their relationships with men to live happier, more fulfilling lives. In American society, women are taught to alter their desires, needs, and behaviors to make men happy and comfortable. Berner and DeSorbo encourage women to focus on themselves instead, though this doesn’t have to mean cutting men out of one’s life. Rather, women who are prone to catering to men should pay attention to red flags in their relationships with men and ask themselves if these men are worthy of their time and attention. In particular, women should distance themselves from men who ask them to compromise their beliefs or values. In practical terms, this could mean breaking up—for example, with a partner who places his own career goals over one’s own—but it can also take less dramatic forms. Women often find themselves doing emotional labor not only for romantic partners but also for male friends and relatives, so refocusing on oneself could simply mean pulling back from this supportive role. Regardless, decentering men is vital to empowering oneself as a woman: When a woman recognizes that she doesn’t need a man to validate her existence, she will establish a healthier relationship with herself, and in turn with men.