“I mean, what do I ever do without my mom anyway? Nothing. I go to school, sometimes I watch the skaters at The Pit, I come home, I read, I…I sit in our small life. Watching everybody else. A bug in a jar.”

Tiger reflects on how her world is severely limited to just her mother and her. June’s protectiveness means that Tiger does participate in a lot of normal, teenage activities and experiences like her peers. Tiger feels suffocated by this, which leads her to making the “bug in a jar” analogy that is a recurring image throughout the novel.

“She didn’t even ask. We didn’t even talk about it. I don’t even understand how we went from fighting about a dance to her buying a dress for the dance.”

June calls Tiger at school to tell her about the dress she has bought, and Tiger is furious. Tiger’s anger stems from the lack of communication and agency she experiences in her relationship with her mother. She feels frustrated by the lack of resolution to their fight about the dance and angered by her mother’s attempt to take control of the situation by buying the dress for her.

“You will never take this dress off. It was all she wanted, for you to wear it, to look beautiful. And she didn’t get to see you in it.”

After June’s passing, the dress takes on unparalleled importance for Tiger. It is the last thing they speak about, and the conversation ends in a fight. Thus, for Tiger, it is a reminder of how she was a “bad” daughter, and she wears it as penance for her hurtful parting words to June. The dress is an important recurring symbol in the book and signifies The Struggles of Coping With Grief.

“Don’t you think it’s a little crazy that I have to go live with complete strangers when adults spend a lifetime telling us kids never to trust strangers?”

Tiger questions Karen, her case worker, about the absurdity of suddenly having to live with complete strangers. This is one of The Challenges of the Foster Care System. Most children who enter the system come from experiences of grief, loss, and trauma; they are expected to then adapt to unfamiliar and constantly changing circumstances, which only exacerbates their trauma. Tiger also experiences this at the first foster home she is placed in.

“‘My mom died. Can you help me with that?’ LaLa says softly, ‘Grief is a process your body and mind have to go through, Tiger. There isn’t a cure. But I can keep you comfortable and safe.’”

Tiger is moved to LaLa’s foster home after one night at Georgia’s, and the two are vastly different experiences. LaLa is warm and loving; she is modeled on Glasgow’s own mother, who fostered and adopted children before Glasgow was born (414). LaLa’s character is a sign of hope that there are positive forces within the foster care system as well. She approaches Tiger with understanding and empathy, and she continually tries to help Tiger feel safe in her grieving process.

“That doesn’t sound so bad. Disappearing. Not feeling. The girl-bug in the jar flutters, nods her head. She taps her fingers on the glass. Yes, she seems to say. What a good idea.”

Tiger is overwhelmed when she has to make funeral arrangements for her mother, and she wants to escape the reality around her. Tiger’s grieving process sees her oscillate between lashing out in anger and withdrawing and wanting to escape. Her desire for escape sees her spiraling first toward suicidal ideation and later toward substance abuse. The bug imagery makes an appearance here again; it becomes a persona that Tiger imagines for herself and visually represents how she is feeling in the moment.

“How I can’t take this dress off, ever, not so much because Mom never saw it on me, but because now I think it’s literally keeping me together. Holding my bones and heart and soul inside, because they’re all split and shattered, and if I take this dress off, they’ll spill out, everywhere, and I don’t have the strength to pick up the pieces.”

The dress changes in symbolism from being a connection to June to protective armor that Tiger needs to function in the world. At this point in Tiger’s journey, her grief is so intense that she cannot even take her outfit off to wash it. LaLa recognizes this as part of Tiger’s grieving process and helps supplement Tiger’s armor by giving her accessories to complete her outfit and lend her protection.

“‘Her mom is dead, and her dad, who she didn’t even know existed until practically an hour ago, is in prison. How could it be any worse?’ Thaddeus sets his mouth in a grim line. ‘Believe me, I know worse. This isn’t it.’”

Cake, Thaddeus, and Tiger learn about Shayna’s existence, and Cake questions Thaddeus’s assertion that things could be worse for Tiger. Thaddeus’s response indicates that he has experienced a great deal of trauma himself. His difficult past is the reason Tiger bonds so quickly with him—she realizes that he will understand the pain she is going through. Thaddeus’s story is the sad reality of many children in foster care; in comparison, though she has an undoubtedly difficult time, Tiger’s story is still a more hopeful one.

“I look down at my hands, folded against my stomach. I stretch my fingers out, think of Lightning, the skateboard Andy bought me all those years ago, the feel of tape and grit against my palms as he showed me how to work the board. Do my feet twitch, all of a sudden, at the mention of skateboarding?”

Tiger remembers Andy, June’s ex-boyfriend, who taught her how to skateboard years ago. The novel later reveals that June broke up with Andy after Tiger broke her arm while skateboarding because June blamed Andy for the accident. Initially, Tiger comes across as a sheltered character, unwilling to try new things. However, this part of her personality was largely shaped by June’s influence; after June’s passing, Tiger comes out of her shell a little as her grief lessens. The twitch she feels at the thought of the skateboard is an indication that Tiger is inherently a curious person with a desire to experience more in life than she was allowed to by her mother.

“I love my sister more than I’m afraid of him. Sometimes you’d do anything to protect your family. It’s just something you know, deep inside.”

Thaddeus explains what gives him the strength to visit his mother, despite his abusive stepfather being around. Thaddeus’s story, as well as the stories of the other children Tiger meets when she is in foster care, presents a paradoxical view of family. On one hand, Sarah, Leonard, and Thaddeus experience tragic and traumatic things at the hands of their family. On the other hand, Thaddeus’s love and desire to protect his little sister reiterates the bond of blood. For Tiger, this is a positive thing, as she begins to feel hopeful about the sister that she has recently discovered.

“Taran Parker whirls around in front of me. ‘I saw you. At the food place. That car. Where you at now? It was only you and your ma, right? I’m sorry about that.’ His face is super serious and it occurs to me that I don’t think I’ve ever seen him not smiling. He looks, I’m sorry to say, like someone died.”

Tiger is surprised by Taran’s demeanor and his willingness to engage with her when she returns to school after June’s death. Later, she discovers that he, too, is part of the grief group, having lost his father in an accident. The unexpected people and stories Tiger encounters in her grief group sessions is a reminder that no one really knows what another person might be privately struggling with and how their struggles may be informing their behavior.

“It suddenly seems like my mom’s life before me left an awful lot of wreckage. It’s like I feel guilty now for something I had nothing to do with.”

After Shayna enters Tiger’s life, Tiger begins to learn more about her mother and sees June in a new light. Shayna resents June for breaking up her family by having an affair with her father; this makes Tiger question her sister’s commitment toward being her guardian. However, Shayna’s desire and willingness to care for Tiger despite this is a testament to her kindness and strength of character.

“Big life events are supposed to happen over time, and in a certain order, like birth, school, marriage, death. And your parents are supposed to die when you’re older, not when you’re young. That’s the way life is supposed to work.”

Tiger contemplates how “big life events” are happening to her out of order: One parent died, followed by the discovery of an older sibling and another parent. Tiger’s life feels extremely unstable and overwhelming to her with all the additional changes and information she is having to process following June’s death. This complicates and intensifies her journey with grief as well.

“Here is what I want to say to Cake, but I don’t have the courage: Maybe I don’t want to unravel this mystery just yet. I’ve been through the biggest thing you can go through, losing a parent, and I’m not sure I can handle knowing more than I ever thought possible about my mother, especially if some of it turns out to not be so, well, good, like the possibility that she’d wantonly and knowingly stolen a married man from his family.”

Tiger has to be coaxed into learning more about her mother. Cake heads the investigation, and Tiger is unable to explain to her why she doesn’t want to learn more about June just yet. This passage highlights the disconnect between Tiger and Cake: Tiger is unable to articulate what she is feeling to her best friend, as she doesn’t think Cake will understand. It also underlines the complicated nature of Tiger’s grief, which is caused by all the new information she has to process following June’s death.

“She gives me a half smile, like we’re in this together. A team. Blood is blood.”

Shayna fiercely defends Tiger to Principal Vela and manages to get her out of serious trouble after Tiger slaps another girl in school. Shayna’s behavior gives Tiger hope and comfort, as she feels like she finally has someone again who will unequivocally have her back.

“I have a sister, and she’s teaching me how to drive a car, like sisters do. Like family does. My heart kind of jumps with happiness.”

Shayna teaches Tiger to drive, and Tiger feels a moment of happiness for the first time after June’s death. These moments are important for Tiger, as she has not had a lot of normal teenage or family experiences outside of her life with June. Shayna comes to play an important role in Tiger’s healing, eventually forming a stable family base that Tiger can depend on.

“I start to cry, so I put the phone down. I’m horrified by what I said, in the same way I was horrified by slapping Ellen Untermeyer, but perhaps this is the new me: a merciless, mourning girl who lashes out.”

In the aftermath of June’s death, Tiger finds herself lashing out at people; Kai Henderson and Ellen Untermeyer are two of the casualties. However, despite what Tiger believes of herself in the moment, this is uncharacteristic behavior on Tiger’s part. It stems from circumstances rather than who she is as a person, with anger being one of the stages of grief that she cycles through.

“The black hole glimmers. The girl-bug approves. Is this better than pinching your thigh cutting your skin punching Ellen Untermeyer is this better is this better is this better is this better is this better is this better is this better.”

After June’s death certificate arrives, Tiger desperately seeks an escape from her painful reality and turns to alcohol for comfort. She was introduced to alcohol by her grief group cohort, with whom she feels a sense of kinship and shared understanding regarding grief. Tiger is also experimenting with alcohol because she has learned of its relationship to her father. While alcohol was never a part of her life earlier, it now is an important piece of her family history because of her father.

“Mae-Lynn and I sit in the car, not saying anything, watching everyone else have the best years of their lives. Someday, when people ask us about high school, and dances, and kisses, and all that stuff, I know that what we’ll remember most of all is how normal was stolen from us.”

Mae-Lynn and Tiger watch the Memorial Days dance from the outside. Mae-Lynn and Tiger bond quickly over their shared experience of parental loss, and Mae-Lynn becomes a part of Tiger’s inner circle. This quote highlights how Tiger’s “normal” has shifted in a short span of time, as this is the dance that she was originally supposed to attend with Kai and argued with June about.

“You two like each other, […] I know you’ll be gentle. No one likes to be forced to do things they aren’t ready to do, and she’ll let you know when she’s had enough.”

Tiger is allowed to ride the horse named Opal at the ranch, despite the horse being injured, because she forms a special connection with her. While the ranch hand is referring to Opal’s recovery from her injury, the idea of not being forced into things until one is ready applies to Tiger as well—especially regarding how she processes and moves through grief. Opal is recovering from a physical wound, whereas Tiger is recovering from an emotional and psychological one.

“Well, bully for you, then. And how dare you! I thought I finally found a friend. And not only that, a friend who understands this horrible hole I have inside, but you know what? I don’t care. Because what kind of friend would leave me that way? What kind of friend would do that to me after I’ve had the worst kind of leaving?”

Mae-Lynn is furious and distraught when Tiger falls off the horse at the ranch; she thinks Tiger was intentionally trying to hurt herself. Mae-Lynn’s emotional outburst reveals how deeply she has already come to care for Tiger. It shows Tiger that there are still people in her life who want her around and worry about her. This helps Tiger process her grief and feel less lonely, which shows The Importance of Community in Healing.

“You start in my house with a clean slate. To me, you are the most wonderful girl who ever lived. You’ve done nothing wrong, ever. I believe in you.”

Teddy welcomes Tiger into her group home with empathy, warmth, and understanding. Tiger thrives because Teddy is not judgmental. Tiger has carried around so much guilt, shame, and regret—first about her last words to June and then about her hurtful and reckless behavior—that she needs reaffirmation that she is a lovable, good person. This helps her to heal.

“I have lived through more than I ever thought possible in two months and come out the other side. It doesn’t feel bad. It doesn’t suck. It feels scary. But it feels doable. It almost feels right. I’ll never not be sad. I’ll never not be a girl without a mother. I’ll never not have a ludicrously big hole in my heart. But I am a girl with a sister now, and a chance, and I have to take it. I want to take it.”

After Tiger’s experience with Teddy in the group home, she finally feels equipped to take a fresh start when Shayna offers it. Teddy is instrumental in rebuilding Tiger’s self-worth through the routine she enforces in the group home, supplemented by empathy and understanding. This allows Tiger to come out the other side of grief and see that she is resilient and can survive the tragedy that has happened to her. Shayna’s reappearance in her life is the added assurance she needs to approach life with hope and positivity again.