49 pages • 1-hour read
Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up with Me
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Themes
Breaking Toxic Relationship Cycles
Content Warning: The source text and this guide describe psychological manipulation and a sexual relationship between an adult man and a minor.
In Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up with Me, the protagonist, Freddy, embarks on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth as she learns to break free from the toxic cycle of her on-again, off-again relationship with Laura Dean. Ultimately, Freddy realizes the importance of prioritizing her own well-being and the value of healthy friendships.
The graphic novel explicitly refers to Freddy’s relationship with Laura Dean as a cycle, using the metaphor of square dancing to symbolize the repetitive and unhealthy nature of their dynamic. The Seek-Her, a mysterious fortune-teller figure, advises Freddy that she is stuck in a “non-monogamous swing-your-partner wormhole” and tells her that she must break free from this cycle (70). Moreover, the book begins and ends with a dance, with each dance showcasing Freddy in a very different situation in terms of her relationships and self-awareness. In the opening scene, Freddy is caught in the throes of her tumultuous relationship with Laura, while in the final dance, she celebrates her newfound independence and strengthened friendships, having successfully broken free from the toxic cycle.
The novel subtly hints at the presence of unhealthy relationship patterns in Freddy’s parents’ marriage, suggesting that, despite appearances, Freddy’s mother and father may be stuck in an unsatisfying relationship characterized by resentment and a lack of communication. Although the details are sparse, Freddy mentions that her dad annoys her mom and vice versa, implying that her parents’ relationship may not be as picture-perfect as it appears. Freddy says: “I think my mom gets on my dad’s nerves…Like I had this picture of them being friends when I was little? And now it just feels like mostly my mom’s annoyed” (96). This subtle nod to her parents’ relationship dynamics serves as a reminder that unhealthy relationship cycles can manifest in various forms and can be perpetuated across generations, highlighting the importance of recognizing and breaking free from such patterns. Freddy’s observations about her parents’ unhealthy relationship also suggest that she is inclined to repeat the pattern in her own relationships and put up with annoyances because she has subconsciously accepted that this is how relationships are.
Throughout the story, Freddy repeatedly returns to Laura, demonstrating just how easy it is to slip back into a toxic relationship and how difficult it can be to accept her power to end it. Despite the numerous red flags and the emotional turmoil caused by Laura’s behavior, Freddy finds herself drawn back to her time and again. It is only through the support of her friends, particularly Doodle, and the guidance of Anna Vice, the advice columnist, that Freddy begins to recognize the unhealthy nature of her relationship with Laura. Freddy’s struggle to break free from this cycle underscores the challenges of letting go of toxic attachments and the importance of self-reflection and personal growth in order to prioritize one’s own well-being.
Through Freddy’s journey, Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up with Me explores the theme of breaking toxic relationship cycles. It highlights the importance of recognizing unhealthy patterns, seeking support from friends and mentor figures, and ultimately finding the strength to prioritize one’s own happiness and well-being. By depicting Freddy’s growth and the positive outcomes of breaking free from her toxic relationship with Laura, the graphic novel serves as a model for readers who may be grappling with similar challenges in their own lives.
Seeing Past Superficial Charm and External Validation
By the end of Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up with Me, Freddy learns to see past the superficial charm and external validation that her relationship with Laura offers, and she ultimately discovers the importance of self-worth and genuine connections.
Throughout the story, it becomes increasingly clear that Laura’s appeal is based on surface appearances and coercive charm rather than true substance. Despite her charisma and popularity, Laura proves to be a toxic influence in Freddy’s life—Laura repeatedly breaks up with her, asserting her power over Freddy and engaging in manipulative behavior. Freddy’s initial infatuation with Laura’s charm and social status causes her to ignore her to the unhealthy dynamics of their relationship, highlighting the dangers of being drawn in by superficial qualities and neglecting to recognize the true nature of a person’s character.
The revelation that Laura wins prom queen at the end of the book serves as a commentary on the fleeting nature of popularity and the emptiness of external validation. Earlier in the story, Freddy mentions that Laura is “one of the most popular people in school. Everyone knows her” (64). However, Freddy later comes to realize that Laura’s popularity may stem from her inability to be alone. Realizing that Laura has manufactured an “emergency” to manipulate her into coming to her party, Freddy mutters in disbelief: “Did you just call me over here because you were alone for five minutes?” (244). This realization underscores the idea that relying on external validation and the approval of others is ultimately unfulfilling and can mask deeper insecurities and emotional needs.
Through much of the book, Freddy seeks outside validation through her relationship with Laura, rather than turning inwards and focusing on her own self-worth and personal growth. It is only toward the end of the story that Freddy makes the decision to define herself—not in relation to Laura as her ex-girlfriend or in terms of popularity and being prom queen—but as someone who enjoys her life, values her friendships, and is committed to being a good friend. This shift in perspective demonstrates Freddy’s growth and her ability to see past the allure of superficial charm and external validation, instead prioritizing her own happiness and the quality of her relationships.
Through Freddy’s journey, Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up with Me emphasizes the importance of recognizing the true nature of a person’s character, the emptiness of relying on popularity and the approval of others, and the value of focusing on one’s own self-worth and genuine connections. By depicting Freddy’s growth and her ultimate decision to prioritize her own happiness and the quality of her friendships, this graphic novel encourages readers to look beyond surface-level appearances and to cultivate meaningful relationships based on authenticity and mutual support.
Discovering Agency and Self-Responsibility
Freddy undergoes a transformative journey of self-discovery as she learns to take responsibility for her own actions and emotions, ultimately recognizing her agency in breaking free from the toxic cycle of her relationship with Laura Dean.
While Laura Dean’s manipulative and emotionally avoidant behavior is undoubtedly toxic, the narrative highlights the importance of Freddy recognizing her own role in perpetuating the unhealthy cycle of their relationship. Initially, Freddy views herself as a passive recipient of Laura’s actions, powerless to leave the cycle due to her yearning for a genuine connection with Laura. This mindset is reflected in the title of the book, Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up with Me, which centers on Laura’s decisions and actions rather than Freddy’s own agency. However, as the story progresses, it becomes clear that Freddy’s chooses to return to Laura time and again, despite the pain and hurt she experiences, which demonstrates the difficulty of leaving a toxic cycle. In a pivotal moment, when Laura confronts Freddy about kissing Mo and asks if she wants to break up, Freddy remains silent, allowing Laura to fill the void and assert that they will always find their way back to each other. This scene underscores Freddy’s lack of voice and agency, emphasizing the need for her to take responsibility for her own decisions and emotions.
As Freddy becomes increasingly obsessed with her relationship with Laura, she fails to realize the impact her actions have on her friendships. They particularly affect her friendship with Doodle. Freddy’s obliviousness to Doodle’s struggles and the clues surrounding Doodle’s involvement with the man who eventually gets her pregnant highlights the consequences of neglecting friendships in favor of a toxic romantic relationship. Throughout the story, Doodle’s frustration and exasperation with Freddy’s behavior are evident, and she turns to texting a mysterious person and making plans to meet up at The Door. Additionally, Doodle’s seemingly random mention of the age of consent and the subtle visual cues of her spending time with an unknown individual are red flags that Freddy, consumed by her own relationship drama, fails to notice. Freddy’s self-involvement leads to her neglecting a friend who needs her; moreover, it also cuts Freddy off from people who care about her.
A critical aspect of Freddy’s journey toward discovering her agency and self-responsibility lies in her realization that she is an active participant in the toxic cycle of her relationship with Laura. For much of the story, Freddy fails to ask herself crucial questions about what she truly wants, how she feels when she’s with Laura, and whether she desires the kind of relationship they have. It is only through the guidance of Anna Vice, the advice columnist to whom Freddy writes, that she begins to confront these questions and reflect on her own role in the relationship. Anna Vice’s email prompts Freddy to consider the nature of her love for Laura and whether it brings her happiness and personal growth. This introspection marks a turning point in Freddy’s journey, as she starts to recognize her own agency and the power she holds in shaping her life and relationships.
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