Life's Too Short

When Vanessa picks up Grace, Adrian confronts her about Drake, wanting to know if they are reuniting. Vanessa clarifies that Drake is gay and that their online relationship was fake since he was dating Laird but not ready to come out. The video at Vermillion was just “clickbait” for their channels to generate views. Drake is proposing to Laird, not Vanessa. They express frustration over the confusing kiss, and Adrian reveals he didn’t kiss her because she was drunk, but he wants to. Vanessa is sober now, and they kiss.

Adrian and Vanessa have sex, and she confirms that Kristen’s “prophecy” about Adrian’s penis is correct. She jokes that she needs to call Kristen to report her findings, but he laughs and says she’ll have to wait. Vanessa cherishes each moment of being with Adrian, thinking, “He was very likely the last man I’d ever sleep with” (261), not just because she might be dying but also because she never wants to be with anyone else.

Adrian watches Vanessa sleep while he dresses for work. He is attending Annabel’s arraignment, and afterward, she is going to a treatment facility for 90 days. Adrian wishes he had known Vanessa all her life and wants her and Grace in his life forever. He worries about what will happen when Annabel gets out of rehab, and if Grace will go to her. This reminds him that Vanessa wants to return to work, which means she will travel, and he can’t fly.

When Vanessa wakes up, she asks if she’s his girlfriend, and he responds that it’s much deeper. Vanessa shares that she had a tubal ligation to avoid pregnancy and passing on ALS. Adrian is surprised, but Vanessa reminds him of the many ways to be a parent. She has reservations at the exclusive Badger’s Den, but it’s a three-hour flight, and Adrian says he can’t fly. Vanessa made all the arrangements, including a first-class seat, and tells him not to obsess over the trip. However, it consumes him all day, leading to a panic attack in the car on the way to the airport.

Adrian, Vanessa, Grace, and Harry drive to Nebraska to spend Christmas with Adrian’s family. He apologizes for having to drive instead of flying and still feels guilty that the Badger Room trip was a failure. Vanessa reassures him they can work around the flying anxiety, but she can see Adrian’s pained, knowing expression. Adrian’s hometown looks like “a Hallmark movie” and charms Vanessa from the start. Adrian hasn’t been to his grandparents’ home, where his family now resides, in almost 20 years. He chose not to visit after his father left them. When they arrive, Richard bounds off the front porch and tearfully embraces his son. He introduces Vanessa to everyone as his girlfriend, and Audrey declares it a “Christmas miracle” because Adrian has never brought anyone home to meet them.

After a cozy dinner and catching up, Adrian and Vanessa are alone. Adrian’s grandmother has bonded with Harry Puppins, and Vanessa thinks they should let her keep him and adopt another dog. He thanks her for encouraging him to reconcile with his father and visit the family. He surprises her with her mother’s ring, which he found with the PI’s help. Vanessa is moved to tears as Adrian explains how much she means to him. Yet, she is simultaneously overcome with a deep sadness that she might die and leave Adrian alone.

Vanessa goes ice fishing with Richard, and Adrian and his mother chat while Grace sleeps. Adrian’s mom calls Vanessa “exceptional” and tells her she is proud of the man he’s become. Adrian doesn’t believe in fate, but he’s beginning to consider it. She thinks it’s brave that he’s committed to Vanessa, knowing that she has a 50% chance of getting ALS. Adrian is shocked because he didn’t know those odds. His mom has learned everything from watching Vanessa’s videos.

Adrian watches Vanessa’s first YouTube video, which was made right after her sister died. She explains that ALS runs in her family and that her aunt, grandmother, and mother all had it, which makes the odds high that she will also die from it. Moreover, they have a rare form of the disease that strikes young and kills fast, and there is no test to determine if you have it or any cure. She announces quitting her job, cashing in her retirement, spending the remaining time traveling the world, and raising funds for ALS research. Adrian is struck with panic and pain as he realizes he minimized Vanessa’s wrist numbness and that he might lose her.

When Vanessa returns from ice fishing, Adrian confronts her about what he saw in the video and begs her to see a doctor. Vanessa explains that diagnosing ALS is a lengthy, painful process that may end without a precise diagnosis, as ALS shares many symptoms with other diseases. Vanessa doesn’t plan to seek treatment and wishes to live the rest of her life, however long it is, traveling and spending time with loved ones. Melanie’s treatment regimen was torturous and, in the end, didn’t prolong her life; it only prolonged her pain.

Adrian doesn’t understand Vanessa’s stance and begs her to see treatment, claiming that they are partners now and he should get a say. Vanessa contends that she is the only person who gets to make this decision. She tells Adrian that he can’t “fix” her health and that she only wants his support. Adrian cries, and Vanessa is pained to see his anguish over realizing the truth of her situation.

Adrian refuses to abandon the idea that Vanessa can seek treatment. When they return home, he delves into ALS research with the same intensity and rigor he brings to his work, desperate to counter her assertion that nothing can be done. Adrian can feel his anxiety mounting, and Vanessa notices it and suggests he see a grief counselor to help him deal with his emotions. She wonders if he “regrets” getting involved with her, and Adrian embraces her, saying that he regrets nothing, only that he may be denied a lifetime with her. They are intimate, and Adrian holds her and pleads with her once again to reconsider her decision.

Adrian is late to work but is too sad to care. Marcus confronts him over his lack of attention to work over the last few weeks and threatens to fire him. Adrian knows he’s been slack in his work and feels so out of control with everything else in his life. He takes control of the “one thing I could fix” and tells Becky they are going to pull an “all-nighter” to get caught up (305).