Lost In Yonkers

Neil Simon

37 pages 1-hour read

Neil Simon

Lost In Yonkers

Fiction | Play | Adult | Published in 1991

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Character List

Meet the key characters, with insights into their roles, motivations, and relationships—spoiler-free.

Major Characters

At 15, Jay is the older, more academically inclined Kurnitz brother. He feels highly responsible for his younger sibling, especially given their terrifying new living arrangement and their mother's recent death. He exhibits a desperate, forced maturity but still harbors normal teenage fears and impulses.

Key Relationships

Older Brother of Arty

Son of Eddie

Grandson of Grandma

Nephew of Bella

Nephew of Uncle Louie

Nephew of Aunt Gert

Arty is the 13-year-old Kurnitz brother, known more for his athletic interests and playful attitude than academic prowess. His relative immaturity frees him to speak his mind, make jokes, and occasionally confront adults without fully weighing the consequences.

Key Relationships

Younger Brother of Jay

Son of Eddie

Grandson of Grandma

Nephew of Bella

Nephew of Uncle Louie

Grandma is a stern, elderly German immigrant who runs Kurnitz's Kandy store in Yonkers. She is famously unyielding, physically imposing with a pronounced limp, and rules her household through fear. Her harsh exterior is a product of deep wartime trauma, creating a belief that people must be completely self-sufficient and emotionally hardened to survive.

Key Relationships

Mother of Eddie

Mother of Bella

Mother of Uncle Louie

Mother of Aunt Gert

Grandmother of Jay

Grandmother of Arty

Bella is Grandma's 35-year-old daughter who lives above the family candy shop. She has an intellectual disability—which the boys suspect stems from physical abuse—and is treated entirely like a child by her restrictive mother. Despite her limited independence and tendency toward tantrums, she is incredibly warm and desperate to create her own loving household.

Key Relationships

Daughter of Grandma

Sister of Eddie

Sister of Uncle Louie

Sister of Aunt Gert

Aunt of Jay

Aunt of Arty

Romantic Interest of Johnny

Eddie is a widowed father drowning in $9,000 of debt from his late wife Evelyn's medical bills. To pay off a loan shark, he makes the agonizing decision to travel the country collecting scrap iron for the war effort. This dangerous, exhausting work forces him to leave his sons in his estranged mother's abusive care.

Key Relationships

Father of Jay

Father of Arty

Son of Grandma

Brother of Bella

Brother of Uncle Louie

Brother of Aunt Gert

Louie is Grandma's renegade son, a petty criminal who operates on the fringes of the mob. He possesses a flashy, dangerous charm that initially captivates his nephews when he sneaks into the apartment. He lives his life with a complete disregard for the law, viewing financial self-sufficiency as paramount.

Key Relationships

Son of Grandma

Brother of Eddie

Brother of Bella

Brother of Aunt Gert

Uncle of Jay

Uncle of Arty

Supporting Characters

Gert is another of Grandma's daughters who visits the Yonkers apartment. She suffers from a psychosomatic breathing difficulty that only manifests when she returns to her childhood home. Her habit of speaking on the inhale physically illustrates the deep-seated fear Grandma instills in all her children.

Key Relationships

Daughter of Grandma

Sister of Eddie

Sister of Bella

Sister of Uncle Louie

Aunt of Jay

Aunt of Arty

Johnny is a 40-year-old movie theater usher who lives at a facility for people with intellectual disabilities. He shares Bella's struggles with learning and becomes the central figure in her dreams of independence and starting a restaurant business.

Key Relationships

Romantic Interest of Bella