Memory Wall

After both her parents die from cancer, 15-year-old Allison moves from Kansas to Lithuania to live with her only remaining relative, Grandpa Z. Her dog, Mishap, and three duffel bags of belongings are all she takes with her. Grandpa Z gives the only bedroom to Allison while he sleeps in the kitchen.

Allison’s grief can be overwhelming, but she finds some comfort in prayer. The old woman next door, Mrs. Sabo, invites Allison over, and they watch a sermon on TV. Allison knows enough Lithuanian to catch the main idea of the sermon, which is about believing in things unseen. Later, Grandpa Z tells Allison that Mrs. Sabo can’t remember things anymore, implying that she has dementia. Allison begins watching TV with Mrs. Sabo regularly.

Mrs. Sabo shows Allison photos of her mom as a child. In many of the pictures, Allison’s mom is fishing in a river or showing off the enormous sturgeon that she’s caught. Grandpa brings Allison to the same river, River Nemunas. After learning her childhood home is being sold, Allison goes back to the river and sees an unbelievably large fish jumping out of the water. When she tells Grandpa Z, however, he says there aren’t any sturgeon left in the river. He believes she imagined it.

Allison remembers Grandpa Z once saying that God is a security blanket for babies. He doesn’t believe in things he doesn’t see, including the sturgeon. She hauls an old boat out from the shed, determined to catch one for herself. She takes Mrs. Sabo out with her, and they fish for hours in the river’s slow current but don’t catch anything. For the rest of the summer, Allison and Mrs. Sabo spend every day fishing. Eventually, Allison concludes Grandpa might be right, but she’s okay with that because she’s enjoying herself.

At one point, Mrs. Sabo tells Allison that the afterworld is a big, beautiful garden, that death is a woman named Giltine, and that omens of death include splintered mirrors and dreams of teeth being pulled. On the last day of summer, Mrs. Sabo catches something huge on her fishing line. She wrestles with it for a long time, but the line breaks, and she loses it. Nevertheless, she smiles.

Soon after the school year starts, Allison and Mrs. Sabo watch a documentary about the younger generations of a South American tribe losing interest in their tribe’s traditions. The tribal language is disappearing, and of the 150 people who once lived in the village, only six remain. At dusk, Allison sees Mrs. Sabo feed a wild white horse beer from her cupped hand and then press her face to the horse’s. That night, Allison dreams of her teeth falling out, and in the morning, Mrs. Sabo is dead.

Grandpa Z offers to take Allison fishing after that. On their fourth day, something catches Allison’s line. She pulls until her arms ache and finally sees the 10-foot fish at the end of the line. Grandpa Z sees it too. When Allison can’t hold the rod much longer, Grandpa Z cuts the line with his pocketknife.

On a school field trip to Plokštinė, an abandoned Soviet missile base, a boy tells Allison that seeing a white horse at dusk is good luck.

Six months after her parents’ deaths, Allison’s grief is as sharp as ever, but memories of Mrs. Sabo and thoughts of the garden afterworld comfort her. She wonders if the sturgeon—patient, gentle, and noble—is an orphan like her. One night in November, Allison prays for her parents, Mrs. Sabo, Grandpa Z, the South American tribe, and the sturgeon, while outside, it begins to snow.