Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as If Your Life Depended on It

Help readers relate the book’s lessons to their own life experiences.

1. Voss describes three negotiator types: analyst, accommodator, and assertive. Which one do you most relate to, and how has that played out in personal or work settings?

2. Think of a recent negotiation or challenging conversation—what tool or idea from the book would you now want to bring into that situation?

3. “Tactical empathy” asks us to understand someone’s perspective deeply, even if we don’t agree. When have you done this well, and how did it shift the interaction?

4. Voss draws a key distinction between hearing “you’re right” and “that’s right.” Can you think of a moment when you received—or gave—one of these responses? How did it affect the outcome?

5. The “accusation audit” helps to preempt resistance by naming the negatives. When could this be a useful tool in your own life?

Encourage readers to think about the book’s role in current social, cultural, or professional conversations.

1. Voss’s experience negotiating across cultures raises the question of cultural expectations. How might his techniques need to shift in global or multicultural settings?

2. The book presents negotiation as a foundational life skill. What do you think would happen if these ideas were more widely taught in schools, workplaces, or communities?

3. Understanding someone’s core values—their “religion,” as Voss calls it—can be a powerful leverage point. How do you see this playing out in today’s polarized world?