Our Infinite Fates

The table is set for a wedding, but there are no knives. The peace between the Sola and Quiñónez families is strained at best. The narrator, Adella, thinks about how much she is going to miss her father, Papá, when she dies; it will be soon, as her 18th birthday is only a few days away. In her next life, she knows, Papá will be a stranger. Adella cannot help but be hypervigilant, awaiting her killer. Her sister is marrying the oldest Quiñónez son. Adella goes outside for some air, followed by the middle Quiñónez son, Rafael, and she begins to wonder if he is her killer. They talk briefly before he puts a knife to her throat, calling her “Evelyn.” She marvels that she never suspected him of being “Arden.”

Evelyn asks why he kept his distance “this time,” suggesting that something that happened to them in Siberia hurt him as much as it did her. She gains the upper hand and puts the knife to his throat. Evelyn wants to look Arden in the eyes when she kills him. She is irritated that he won’t tell her why he pursues her in every lifetime, and he is insulted that she doesn’t remember. Evelyn slits his throat. As his pulse slows, so does hers, and she feels the same grief as always.

Now, Evelyn is Branwen Blythe, and her family has already experienced tragedy. Her father was killed by a drunk driver when she was eight, and his parents died soon after. Moreover, she usually remembers her “ultimate fate” between the ages of eight and 10 and begins waiting for Arden’s appearance in her life. Evelyn is beginning to feel worn down. Her sister, Gracie, is 14 and has been diagnosed with leukemia. Gracie is perhaps Evelyn’s favorite sibling of all she’s ever had. Evelyn gets flashes of her past lives, but she doesn’t know why her life must end the way it does, always before her 18th birthday. In Siberia, Arden let it slip that some kind of “deal [was] made long ago that had sealed [their] fate” (15), but he would never share their origin story.

Gracie has a copy of a new book of poetry called Ten Hundred Years of You, a pop-culture sensation. She has also found Evelyn’s list of all the things she wants to do as an adult once she finally breaks the curse. Gracie is totally unique: a combination of sunshine and macabre darkness. Evelyn is currently taking stem-cell-boosting shots so that she can donate them to Gracie; the procedure is scheduled for four days from now, and she turns 18 in two weeks.

Arden has not revealed himself to Evelyn, and she worries that he will murder her before she can save her sister. Dylan, the family’s farmhand, arrives at the hospital with candy for Gracie. Evelyn compares the Blythe family to a “patchwork blanket” made up of various relationships that all work together. She notes the face of an unfamiliar blond boy on the street, and when they make eye contact, Evelyn’s skin prickles. She heads to her job at a bookstore, having lost all interest in school after so many lifetimes of it. Arden, however, is always drawn back to literature, no matter the lifetime. The shop has a pile of copies of Ten Hundred Years of You, a compilation of poetry that a traveler found in the Siberian wilderness. Evelyn is certain that it must be Arden’s work.

A boy named Mikha (Arden) digs a grave in the taiga as a girl named Nadezha (Evelyn) sips liqueur from his flask. Neither has admitted to knowing the other’s real identity, and Evelyn subtly tests him. Her 18th birthday is tomorrow. In this life, they fell in love at 14, when their fathers took them ice fishing. Now, Arden accidentally acknowledges the differences between Siberia and other places he could not possibly have known if he were not Arden. He acknowledges that the grave is for them, and Evelyn says that she hoped she could change his mind this time. She begs him to tell her why death before age 18 must be their fate, and he says that it will only hurt her more to know. She cannot remember where they began or how their souls became entwined.

Evelyn tries to convince Arden to let her live, and he seems willing but says that it’s too late: He has poisoned the liquid in the flask. Arden admits that Evelyn has survived until the age of 18 twice, and he suddenly realizes that he doesn’t want to go through this again because he loves her so much. They’ve been in love many times, but this is the first time he’s ever changed his mind. He is “so tired of this” (32). They lie in the grave together, and he admits that this happens because of a “deal” made a long time ago. They die together. 

The chapter ends with a poem, ostensibly from Ten Hundred Years of You. The speaker describes what it’s like to witness centuries of earthly reinvention and change, as well as each new incarnation of their lover.

Evelyn is amazed that she always lets herself love people in each life, despite knowing how it will end. Evelyn believes that love is a physical force that always connects the same people, regardless of lifetime. She told Arden this once, though he disagreed with her. 

Evelyn sees the blond stranger on the street again, and when he smiles arrogantly at her, she is certain that he’s Arden. Evelyn confronts him, shoving him and ordering him to leave her alone. He is confused, and she demands to see his ID. He is several months older than she is, causing her to question her intuition, as she and Arden share a birthday. She feels like El Salvador threw off her instincts. However, Evelyn just needs to survive three more days to donate her stem cells to Gracie.

A girl named Heilani (Evelyn) watches another, Elenoa (Arden), thrash in her sleep. Though they face some hardship for their romantic involvement with one another, Evelyn feels like the world is “curving in the right direction” and becoming more accepting of their love (47). Nevertheless, Evelyn chastises her optimistic heart, which always believes that things can be different this time. They’ve never had sex in any life because of Arden’s principles. Evelyn wakes Arden, who admits to having nightmares but won’t elaborate. Evelyn asks how Arden always finds her, and he describes a “tether” or “magnet” that draws him to her every time. Evelyn only experiences a “deep yearning,” which doesn’t work the same way. Arden remembers how they began but will not tell Evelyn out of love for her. Evelyn knows that Arden will kill her now, so she kills Arden first.

The next day, the stranger—a boy named Ceri—comes into the bookshop. Evelyn is flipping through Ten Hundred Years of You for clues about her and Arden’s fate. She wonders if Ceri is about to kill her; she is unable to feel the profound pull she usually does but is paranoid, nonetheless. Evelyn tries to get Ceri to make a mistake that will reveal him to be Arden, but he only talks about the family he left behind when he moved to their town. He says that he rents the apartment above the gas station. He buys a copy of the book and writes his number on the receipt, handing it back to her. Evelyn only has to live for two more days.

Evelyn knocks on the door to Ceri’s apartment, hoping to talk. Certain that he is Arden, she wants to convince him to let her live until after the stem cell procedure. When he doesn’t answer, she picks the lock, a skill she learned in a past life. She spots an old typewriter and takes this as proof that Ceri is Arden. When Evelyn hears him arrive, she quickly escapes the apartment but has no time to relock the door. He notices.

Evelyn, a young man in this lifetime, must return to her job at a restaurant just two days after her father is shot. When a boy around her age appears at the restaurant, he looks into her eyes with a nod. She breaks down in tears, admitting that her father was just killed. Not wanting to live without him, she asks Arden to kill her now. Arden refers to her “bottomless capacity” for love: She loves insistently, over and over. This time, she says, it hurts too much. She smashes a glass carafe on the café wall, followed by another and another, and Arden just holds her. 

The chapter ends with a poem describing the constancy of parents, who “kiss” honey into the mouths of their children in every life.

Evelyn is certain of Arden’s nearness. Her love for him transcends most people’s understanding; she marvels at his soul, as he has a way of thinking and feeling that shifts with each lifetime but never entirely vanishes. She’s aware that they haven’t really talked in about four decades, and she craves him. 

The day of the stem cell transplant arrives, and Dylan gives her a ride. He is a “golden retriever in human form” and part of the patchwork blanket to which Evelyn compares her family (75). Evelyn once thought that Dylan could be Arden, and she even tried to trip him up, but her paranoia faded. Now, she has a terrible sense of foreboding regarding the day ahead. After running a blood test, Gracie’s doctor says that Evelyn’s blood doesn’t have enough stem cells for her to donate. Gracie also has an infection and needs to undergo more chemotherapy. If the infection clears up, they can harvest Evelyn’s bone marrow and do the transplant in two weeks. This means that Evelyn must live past her 18th birthday so that she can save her sister’s life. She texts Ceri, inviting him on a date.

Evelyn and Arden are soldiers in the trenches of World War I. When Arden found Evelyn, she didn’t care that he had come to kill her; she needed him and the comfort he provided. He’d asked if she wanted to die early to escape the horrors of war, but she just wanted to be with him for a while. They sit, talking, and Arden wonders how Evelyn’s hope is never extinguished. He promises that he does what he does for them and to protect her from the hellish alternative, swearing that he would “lay [his] body over [hers], war after war after war, life after life after life” (87). They kiss deeply, and then artillery blows up the sky. As men scramble, a female figure strides toward them. She has stark white hair and long, curling black fingernails, and she says that “[t]his has gone on long enough” (89). Evelyn struggles to comprehend the flicker of understanding she experiences. The woman is horrible, yet Evelyn wants to run to her. Arden pulls the pin from a grenade and hurls it toward the woman, trying to pull Evelyn away. When it detonates, it tears Evelyn’s body apart.