Please Look After Mom

Much of So-nyo’s unnamed husband’s narrative reveals a self-absorbed man who never valued his wife. So-nyo’s husband admits that he typically ignored his wife’s pain and illness, favoring the creature comforts she gave him. During their marriage, he would leave her alone with their children, sometimes for months on end, and only return when he was sick. Though he saw how deeply the trauma of his brother’s death affected So-nyo, he didn’t think his wife needed the therapy that doctors suggested. Always rude and ungracious to his wife, he had a habit of walking too fast for her to be able to keep up—a habit he blames for losing sight of her during her disappearance. He’s racked with guilt without her, realizing only in her absence how precious and easy is life was when So-nyo was around.

Chi hon, So-nyo’s eldest daughter, is a novelist who often travels for readings. Before the disappearance, Chi-hon didn’t keep in touch consistently with her family, and she often got mad at her mother—sometimes even hanging up out of annoyance.

After her mom’s disappearance, Chi-hon’s attitude and behavior change. Chi-hon recounts all the ways she let her mother down by maintaining a busy life that didn’t include time for So-nyo. Recalling that her mother always begged her to stop flying, Chi-hon initially decides to stop taking airplanes. She also stops arguing with her family and reverts to a childhood habit of placing her hands in her pockets when admitting she is wrong. Though Chi-hon never even included her mother in her life goals before, she travels to Rome after her mother’s disappearance and successfully finds the rosewood rosary her mother asked for on a whim. This purchase and a visit to Michelangelo’s Pietà, helps Chi-hon come to terms with her mother’s absence and with lingering guilt over her treatment of her mother.

Hyong-chol is So-nyo’s eldest son. When he accepted a low-paying job and moved to Seoul in his 20s, his mother reminded him that he was both mother and father to his siblings (all of whom moved to Seoul as they grew older). Hyong-chol feels guilty about his mother’s disappearance. When he was younger, he made a promise to her to do well so that his mother wouldn’t have a hard life. But after personal and professional success, he forgot about honoring this promise. Though he initially brushes off the family’s concerns about his missing mother, he also aids in the search when it’s clear that they have no leads. After months with no news, Hyong-chol goes back to his old life again, though it’s clear that his mother’s disappearance haunts him.

The narrative doesn’t name the youngest daughter, but she plays a major role in her mother’s life. So-nyo visits a few places as a spirit after her death, and one of those places is her youngest daughter’s house. The youngest daughter once symbolized freedom for So-nyo. The youngest daughter was born when So-nyo could afford to give her all the things she couldn’t give her other children. So-nyo had incredibly high hopes for her youngest daughter, who showed a lot of promise and intellect.

However, the youngest daughter chose to become a stay at home mother instead of pursuing a career. So-nyo doesn’t like that her brightest child, the one with the best future, is a housewife now.

The youngest daughter admits to Chi-hon that she is not as strong as their mother; she wants her children to grow up fast so she can have her life back. Her abilities might have helped with the family’s search for So-nyo. however, the youngest daughter can’t help much with the search because she must take care of three young children. Not helping in the search causes her pain and regret.

Eun-gyu, now an old man in mental decline, was So-nyo’s secret best friend. They met when he tried stealing So-nyo’s flour in the country. She later helped him and his family, and he became a lifeboat that helped her stay afloat, placing Eun-gyu’s presence in her life above her own family. Eun-gyu tried searching for So-nyo in Seoul to no avail. So-nyo wonders if her disappearance caused Eun-gyu’s dementia.