Popcorn

“Not long after that she had to move in with us, and I let her have my room because of course that’s what you do, but it means I have to sleep on the stupid fold-out couch in the front room with the sun coming through the blinds at the crack of dawn and I have to keep my clothes in the coat closet and she’s super messy and sometimes she stays in the bathroom for forever and we don’t know if she’s actually doing something or she’s zombie’d out and just staring off…and I really miss my room and my stuff and my space and…Sorry. I love G, but…Wow. I guess I needed to get that out.”

Most of this excerpt is a single run-on sentence, a stylistic decision that conveys Andrew’s frustration at how his life has changed since G moved in as well as the way that he kept his negative feelings pent-up for a long time out of a sense of politeness and responsibility. Polysyndeton is the stylistic addition of coordinating conjunctions where none are grammatically necessary. The author uses this literary technique in the phrase “my room and my stuff and my space” to emphasize how Andrew struggles with losing his privacy. These changes are particularly difficult for Andrew because his OCD and anxiety mean that he needs consistency and order to feel at ease.

“That’s when Danny lets out what might be the biggest, most violent, out-of-nowhere sneeze I’ve ever witnessed. It’s like a nuclear explosion. ‘CHOOOOO.’”

Many middle-grade novels use situations that evoke disgust for comedic purposes, and this convention highlights the protagonist’s intense fear of germs. The simile comparing Danny’s sneeze to “a nuclear explosion” and the onomatopoeia “CHOOOOO” underscore Andrew’s horror.

“It feels like dread. Like something horrible is going to happen. Like my favorite pet just died or an asteroid is slowly coming to destroy Earth—even though none of that is happening. And then the pressure in my chest starts. And my head. And the stomachache.”

The use of stylistic fragments makes the passage’s flow choppy, which reflects how anxiety disrupts Andrew’s day-to-day life. The similes comparing the main character’s dread to the way he would feel if his “pet just died or an asteroid is slowly coming to destroy Earth” express the overwhelming worry he feels. In an instance of anaphora, the final three fragments each start with the word “And.” This repetition adds to the impact of Andrew’s narration, underscoring that, although anxiety is a mental health condition, its effects can include pain and other negative sensations throughout the body.

“Now I can tell I’m the last one working, and I feel like the class is all staring. I have sweat on my lip and my stomach is up in my chest doing some kind of hula dance.”

Personification is a technique of figurative language that endows non-human subjects with human characteristics. In this passage, the narrator personifies his stomach by describing it as “doing some kind of hula dance.” In addition to creating a vivid mental image, this figurative language demonstrates how Andrew uses humor and art in coping with mental health challenges, which is one of the novel’s major themes.

“Coach Shephard will not let up on me about basketball. He tells me daily that if I applied myself, I could be ‘one heck of an asset to the team.’ It’s 100 percent because of my height. Like, that is the only reason. Period. I look like I was born for basketball. Unfortunately, I was born with two left feet. And two left hands. And maybe two left eyes as well.”

Andrew’s narration frequently employs self-deprecating humor, as demonstrated by his repetition of the words “two left” to convey his lack of athletic skill. The narrator’s ability to craft jokes about his weaknesses demonstrates maturity for his age and contributes to his humorous voice.

“You (the kernel) twitch a few times. Maybe it starts to feel a little like panic. This pressure has to go SOMEWHERE. Are you going to explode?? Is that a thing?? Can you just…POP? It just keeps building and building and you twitch some more and you’re freaking out and you can’t breathe and there’s nowhere to go ’cause it’s all inside you and you can’t take it anymore and…Okay. It’s like that, kind of. Anxiety, that is.”

Andrew uses an analogy to explain how anxiety can build into a panic attack just as mounting internal pressure makes a heated kernel of corn pop. This analogy gives the novel its title and serves as an important symbol throughout the story. In addition, the author’s use of run-ons, question marks, and capitalization help to foster the passage’s mood of pressure and fear.

“‘It was a BUZZZ and a roar and all the electricity and pressure and I…felt like I was about to die.’ I was looking around like I was gonna find the right words on her carpet. ‘I couldn’t breathe…and my chest was crazy heavy and everything looked weird and I felt, like…like a wild animal…and my chest hurt and then I kind of crashed and I cried a bunch.’”

In his description of his panic attack, Andrew uses onomatopoeia, such as “BUZZZ” and “roar,” metaphors like “electricity,” and a simile comparing himself to a “wild animal” to convey the frightening physical sensations and overwhelming terror he experienced. Andrew speaks in run-ons to show that it is difficult yet freeing for him to open up about this painful experience to his therapist.

“As we walked to the car, I actually did feel a tiny bit better. It felt like something had begun. It must be how people feel in a crisis when they know the paramedics are on their way.”

Harrell conveys the relief Andrew feels after his first session with Dr. Cain by comparing it to “how people feel in a crisis when they know the paramedics are on their way.” The benefits the protagonist gains from therapy advance the theme of The Importance of Friendship and Support Networks.

“‘I feel like we’re living in some kind of weird prison and I can’t even talk to her like I used to when she was awesome and she’s ALWAYS THERE and I have ZERO PRIVACY and sometimes I have to change my clothes in the kitchen if she’s in the bathroom forever—and I mean FOREVER.’ […] I realized I was out of breath. Like I’d been holding my breath for a year.”

The author uses italics, bolding, and capitalization to highlight Andrew’s frustrations about living with his grandmother. The simile that compares the family’s apartment to “some kind of weird prison” connects to how he and his mother have to hide some things from G but also expresses how Andrew himself feels trapped in the tight quarters. The simile that says the narrator is as breathless as though he’s been “holding [his] breath for a year” shows the importance of voicing his pent-up feelings to a caring listener, which connects to the theme of support networks.

“What Will Happen Now That I’ve Ruined My Friendship with J? Jonesy will put me in ‘The Shunned Zone.’ People will know I’m horrible and throw garbage at me. I will dig myself a deep hole and live in there, henceforth. I’ll die, alone and friendless in an alley somewhere.”

Andrew’s Anxiety Files serve as motifs of The Role of Humor and Art in Coping with Mental Health Challenges. In the 10th Anxiety File, the boy uses several instances of hyperbole in his catastrophic vision of the future, such as his prediction that he will “die, alone and friendless in an alley.” These exaggerations provide comedy while also conveying the guilt and anxiety the narrator feels due to his rudeness toward Jonesy. As his only close friend among his peers, she is a key part of his support system.

“Looking in the mirror at the shaking, black-eyed wet rat I’ve become, all I can think of is that picture book about that poor kid’s terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. I feel you, Alexander.”

This excerpt contains an allusion to Judith Viorst’s award-winning children’s book Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. Like Popcorn, this beloved picture book follows a boy who experiences a string of misfortunes over the course of one day, which explains Andrew’s sympathy for the titular Alexander.

“‘I’m a clean freak too, and I’m tall and skinny like him and I’m fussy and a neat freak and I’m angry. Fastidious Andrew. He probably tapped and reclosed doors like me too, for all I know and it’s not fair!’ I stood up, a first for our sessions. I walked—stormed?—over to the bookshelf in the corner and then came back. Sat down. ‘I don’t want to turn into him!’”

Harrell emphasizes the traits that Andrew has in common with his estranged father by using polysyndeton, such as “I’m fussy and a neat freak and I’m angry.” This excerpt connects to the theme of self-acceptance; Andrew struggles to accept himself because he fears that the symptoms of his mental health conditions are indications that he might become like his mean-spirited father.

“‘Your feet are in the warm pool. Now tell me what you hear. What you smell. Get as specific as you can.’ I took a second to really be there. ‘I can hear my mom and Mika laughing at the table on the deck. I can hear burgers sizzling on the grill while her dad is being Master Griller. I can smell them too.’”

This passage abounds with imagery that appeals to the reader’s senses of touch (“the warm pool”), hearing (“Mika laughing”), and smell (“burgers sizzling”). These details are significant because the more Andrew can immerse himself in his happy memory, the more effective the visualization technique becomes. The scene illustrates the importance of support networks because Dr. Cain teaches him this soothing strategy and because Andrew’s happiest memory is with his best friend, his mother, and Jonesy’s parents, underscoring how much these supporting characters matter to the protagonist.

“I hear people scrambling around, some gasps, and teacher-shoed feet running to me, but also the unmistakable sound of Gene the Mean laughing. No, not just laughing. Braying. I read that description in a book once—I think it’s the sound a donkey makes when it’s all excited.”

By focusing on auditory imagery, such as “gasps” and “teacher-shoed feet running,” the author emphasizes that the narrator cannot see during this passage. In addition, Andrew’s diction in choosing the precise verb “braying” to describe Gene’s laughter underscores the bully’s cruel delight at his dangerous prank.

“I feel like energy is coursing through my arms and chest. Through my muscles and blood. I’m thinking I know what a robot must feel like when its circuits get too much juice. Oh, no. No, no, no. I’ve felt this before, and I’d really hoped I never would again. A panic attack.”

The stylistic use of fragments and the repetition of the word “no” help to capture the dread Andrew feels when he senses that he may have a panic attack at school, which is his worst nightmare. The comparison between the protagonist and “a robot […] when its circuits get too much juice” conveys how Andrew feels overwhelmed and powerless to stop the attack.

“‘Okay. Art class? Nurse?’ I want to run in eight directions and throw things and scream and take a nap and pull my hair out all at once, but I don’t have those options, so I just…don’t. ‘Art.’”

The run-on that uses polysyndeton to list Andrew’s frantic desire “to run in eight directions and throw things and scream and take a nap and pull [his] hair out all at once” contrasts with his monosyllabic response to Jonesy’s question. There’s humor in the juxtaposition, but the contrast also makes a point about the way that the school’s rigid schedule adds to Andrew’s stress. He feels like he can’t take a break even when there’s a family crisis.

“I don’t know why that glance in the tiny sink mirror is the final straw, but it is. In a day of straws, this one is the straw that puts me over the edge. The straw that pushed. It feels dumb that the thing that tips the scale is about how I look, but it’s just the awful icing on a really crappy, disgusting cake. I feel like I can’t breathe. Like, seriously. I can’t get a breath.”

The passage in which Andrew begins to have a panic attack contains clichés, but Harrell builds up the narrator’s distinctive voice by putting his own take on these familiar sayings. For example, “the awful icing on a really crappy, disgusting cake” illustrates Andrew’s exhaustion, anger, and revulsion at the series of mishaps that lead to his panic attack.

“I think I’m trying to wipe away more than the purple. I want to wipe away the whole day. The Missing G situation. Gene. The ruined shirt. The anger. Dan (aka Dad). The argument with Jonesy. The job my mom is probably gonna lose. All of it.”

The repetition of the phrase “wipe away” connects Andrew’s physical actions, his efforts to clean himself, with his inner struggle. The author’s use of fragments underscores how many factors contribute to Andrew’s panic attack, including familial problems and bullying.

“The best I can describe it is that my brain is a trapped badger, and all it’s doing is reacting. Which helps explain what happens next. Mr. Kellerman tries to put his hands on my shoulders…and my inner cornered badger lashes out. My panicked brain sees even his attempt to calm me down as a threat…and I hit him.”

The metaphor likening Andrew’s brain to “a trapped badger” explains that his body is operating on instinct during his panic attack. This helps to establish why his actions at the end of the passage differ from his usual gentleness and caution. The two sets of ellipses between “a threat” and “and I hit him” emphasize the narrator’s horror at reactively striking a teacher.

“Mr. Kellerman seems like the most laid-back easygoing person who ever was. He’s the human version of a big St. Bernard sprawled out in a sunbeam.”

By comparing Mr. Kellerman to “a big St. Bernard sprawled out in a sunbeam,” the narrator conveys the teacher’s affable personality and gives context for Andrew’s surprise that the seemingly serene man also has panic attacks. This revelation highlights that there is more to people than their anxiety, a lesson Andrew has previously struggled to internalize.

“‘I know that doesn’t sound great. But eventually you’ll start to think of it as…’ He scratches at his beard. ‘Almost like an annoying friend. Your annoying, anxious, worry-wart friend who shows up at the worst times.’”

Mr. Kellerman uses a simile to say that anxiety is “like an annoying friend.” This comparison encourages self-compassion and self-acceptance by personifying anxiety as someone that an individual can learn to live with rather than something they need to hide. This passage illustrates the importance of friendship and support networks because Mr. Kellerman is a trusted adult who has lived with anxiety for years.

“I fly off of the couch. It takes everyone a second to react, so I’m barging past Mr. Espinosa as he turns. I clear him and look down the hall and there she is. Her neon-pink robe. A pretty bad case of bed head—one side is all smashed down. The fuzzy green Yoda slippers I gave her two years ago that I got on sale at CVS.”

Harrell uses visual and tactile imagery to describe the familiar colors and textures that make up G’s distinctive appearance from her “neon-pink robe” to her “fuzzy green Yoda slippers.” By breaking these individual clothes and features into fragments, the author underscores Andrew’s relief at seeing his missing grandmother safe and sound.

“Suddenly, the office buzzer goes off and Mrs. Dithers lets my mom and Mika in. They arrive in a blubbery, excited tornado of relief and weepy apologies and hugs and more hugs. It’s Hug-a-Palooza for a few minutes. Everybody gets one. Or two.”

The author captures Susan and Mika’s powerful emotions by describing their arrival with the metaphor of a “tornado of relief.” In the second sentence, polysyndeton and the repetition of the word “hugs” express the immense joy that everyone feels now that G has been found.