Quit Like a Woman: The Radical Choice to Not Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol

Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of substance use, mental illness, sexual violence, and addiction.

“In my early twenties, I was wine obsessed, and not in the way where I drank a lot of wine (which I did), but more in the way that I absolutely dominated wine. It was a status symbol, something I curated like I did my taste in indie music, or my moderately priced collection of stiletto heels. And yet, the most notable thing about my drinking in my early-to-mid-twenties was that it was entirely unnotable. I drank and got drunk. I was an asshole about wine. The same could be said for most of my friends.”

Whitaker reflects on her early relationship with alcohol and how her wine knowledge made her feel cultured and high status. This passage adds to the author’s emerging theme of The Effects of Societal Perception of Alcohol and Addiction, as Whitaker suggests that her extensive knowledge of wine brought her respect, adding to her incentive to continue drinking. By comparing her experience to that of her friends, Whitaker piques curiosity about how her drinking intensified and what she did to address her drinking problem.

“The harder I tried to be more perfect—the more cleanses I did, books I bought, and budgets I made, the more things I bought to cover up and paint over the mess that was my life—the harder it became to keep it together. The attempts to fix me only added more chaos, the chaos added more pain, and so I added more wine. And pot. And cigarettes. And food. And clothes.”

Whitaker’s personal pain and feelings of inadequacy fueled her dependent relationship with alcohol. This passage creates a clear link between the root of her problem and the symptom: her alcohol addiction. By reflecting on her attempts to self-soothe with escapist behaviors such as drinking, the author sets up her discussion about tools for healing, one of which is addressing the root cause of addictive behaviors.

“Drinking has become so ingrained in the female code, we don’t even recognize the endless ways it’s pierced our every experience, or even stop to think about the cost of that infiltration. Wine and spirits and even beer are a celebrated, quintessential accessory to having made it as a woman.”

Whitaker adds to her theme of Women’s Empowerment Through Sobriety by critiquing the societal norms around women and alcohol consumption. By painting alcohol as an “infiltration” into women’s lives, Whitaker suggests that this substance is causing harm to women and does not deserve its place as a status symbol.