King’s final chapter addresses the particularly challenging scenario of having to “cold read” strangers quickly and without the benefit of deeper knowledge or context. Psychologists use the term “thin slicing” to refer to using a few clues to generate an accurate prediction. Indeed, a 2019 study demonstrated that intuition or first impressions were more accurate than either chance or conscious deliberation. Nevertheless, King cautions the reader against completely embracing first impressions since one’s own emotional state can inform how well one judges others. He argues that intuition can be powerful but should be paired with conscious decision-making to eliminate bias and to balance first impressions with open-mindedness.

People can also draw on others’ self-expression to understand their personalities, intentions, and values. For instance, people’s word choice can reveal if they are positive, negative, expressive, or trying to distance themselves from their topic. For instance, King believes people use unnecessary jargon and formal words because they believe they sound more intelligent and in control, revealing that they are likely insecure and trying to impress others. Mimicking language or using the word “we” shows that someone is trying to create harmony or a sense of being on the same team. Clothing also reveals something about a person’s state of mind, as well as communicating information about social class, sex appeal, gender identity, and even religious beliefs. While a disheveled appearance might suggest a lack of money or care, expensive clothing suggests the wearer cares about prestige.

People’s homes can also be very revealing. King points to a study that found that people who decorate the outside of their house for Christmas are more open and more sociable than those who do not. He claims that clean homes suggest a neurotic personality, while more spare homes suggest a lack of attachments. Homes can also point to how others hope to be perceived. Psychologist Sam Gosling’s book Snoop claims that people even decorate differently depending on their political affiliations, with conservatives favoring brightly lit, organized spaces with nationalistic or sports-related decor, while liberals tend to have more cultural items in a less organized space.

King claims that online behavior is also full of valuable data for people-reading. The time stamps on people’s emails or texts might reveal if they are night owls, who tend to be more anxious and creative, or daytime workers, who are more ambitious and social. A 2010 study on social media behavior found that people could accurately assess others’ personalities and identify their “big five” traits based on their profiles. Nevertheless, interacting one-on-one tends to yield more “data” than online interactions. For instance, the way someone shakes one’s hand can reveal if they are feeling anxious or uncommitted or trying too hard to dominate the interaction. 

Finally, King advises the reader to ask meaningful questions to move interactions beyond surface-level conversation and really get to know who a person is. For instance, one could ask about the best part of someone’s week, their favorite kind of vacation, or what they would do if they won the lottery. Understanding how people spend their money, or the prize they would most want, reveals their values and interests. King recommends asking about people’s most significant achievements, worst failures, and favorite charities and movies, as well as about what energizes them. The answers should help readers glean valuable information about their identities, personality traits, values, and more.

In this chapter, King tackles a new form of people-reading—thin slicing—that is in tension with his overall claim that one’s analysis of others should be “logical” and “methodological.” By citing research that suggests that conscious deliberation does not make judgments more accurate, the author points to a potential contradiction in the text’s premise. Moreover, thin slicing, which depends on “very small amounts of data,” seems quite different from the extensive data-gathering he suggests throughout the chapter (205). For instance, people who have only a fleeting interaction with someone will likely not be able to assess their homes or ask them very personal questions. Nevertheless, King’s lesson to pay attention to every facet of people’s lives and self-expression adds to his holistic approach and reminds the reader that useful people-reading involves making close observations about every part of people’s lives.

Chapter Lessons

• Don’t discount first impressions, but balance them with open-mindedness and continue to gather as much data as you can.
• Clothing, possessions, home decor, social media, and word choice are all forms of self-expression.
• Ask intentional, meaningful questions to gain insight into people’s values, habits, interests, and fears.

Reflection Questions

• When it comes to making judgments, do you tend to stick to your first impressions or carefully deliberate? Do you think your approach is successful? Why or why not?
• Think of someone you know as an acquaintance. Consider what their word choice, social media, clothing, home decor, etc., reveals about their personality and values.
• Reflect on how your choices and appearance make you come across to others. What signals do you give that help others accurately assess who you are? What might give others the wrong impression, and how could you change it?