Patrick King’s Read People Like a Book (2020) is a practical self-help guide that teaches readers how to analyze and predict others’ emotions, intentions, and behaviors. Rooting his lessons in psychological theories and scholarly studies, King coaches the reader to assess people’s motivations, body language, personality, and social context to accurately “read” their feelings and intentions. The author warns against basing judgment on intuition or single “tells,” instead offering a logical and methodological approach to what he believes is a learnable skill. King promises that his holistic analysis can help anyone improve their self-awareness, social skills, and “people-reading” to enhance their interactions and relationships. His target audience is thus anyone seeking to hone their social acumen, whether personally or professionally.

Key takeaways include:

• Establish Context and Baseline Before Interpreting Behavior
• Remember that Motivations Fuel Behavior
• Evaluate Body Language, Facial Expressions, and Tone as a Whole
• Approach Lie Detection as a Conversational Skill
• Consider Non-Physical Modes of Self-Expression

This guide uses the Kindle edition of this work.

Content Warning: The source material and guide feature depictions of physical abuse and emotional abuse.

Summary

In his Introduction, King argues that there are many benefits to having strong social skills, namely, improving relationships, communicating clearly, resolving conflicts, and avoiding deception. He argues that “people reading” is a learnable skill based on logic and practice and that anyone can learn and use these tools to improve their social awareness. His holistic approach includes several elements, including personal history, psychological profile, and social and physiological context.

From here, the author explains that motivation can be both conscious—such as financial or social motivations—or unconscious. He summarizes Carl Jung’s notion of the shadow self, arguing that people can be unconsciously motivated by repressed needs or negative traits. King points to egoic defenses as another common motivator, as some people use defense mechanisms to protect their pride. Freud’s “pleasure principle” teaches that people are highly motivated to avoid pain and pursue pleasure, while Maslow’s “hierarchy of needs” posits that people first pursue physical needs and safety and then “higher” needs of belonging, self-esteem, and self-actualization.

King explains that people should interpret body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions together to gain a sense of someone’s mood and intentions. While people can fake facial expressions, it is difficult for them to control fleeting “microexpressions,” which give away their emotions; similarly, body language tends to reveal people’s true feelings. He also explains the most popular methods of typing personalities, including the Myers-Briggs, Enneagrams, and Four Temperaments, with the “Big 5” Traits being the most scientifically respected system. King believes that personality is complex and that it takes time to get to know people, but he argues that gaining some insight into their main traits and values can help with communication and connection.

King next summarizes the experts’ advice on how best to detect a lie. He cautions the reader that this is not an exact science and that even trained professionals have a hard time distinguishing liars from truth-tellers. Drawing on the work of professionals, King advises the reader to engage the other person in extended conversation, casually but persistently asking open-ended questions. Increasing the cognitive load on the lying person makes them more likely to slip up in their storytelling and reveal their lie. The author concludes by arguing that intuition and first impressions can be more accurate than chance but that they must be tempered with conscious efforts to avoid bias. To thoroughly “read” a person, King encourages the reader to evaluate other clues, such as their word choice, possessions, clothing, and social media, as well as engage them in meaningful conversations.