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On Gerald’s 17th birthday, he receives a card from his mother, which says, “Who loves ya, kiddo?” (233) The message does not surprise him, but he is disappointed by the lack of sentimentality. In Hannah’s gift of a personalized mixed CD and card for Gerald, she writes, “I love you” (233). As he is in disbelief about this message, he does not tell Hannah that he has read her card.
Gerald wants to talk to Mr. Fletcher about leaving the SPED classroom for regular classes. He encounters his classmates, including Deirdre, who uses a wheelchair and has cerebral palsy. She demands to know why he is always sulking despite being famous through reality television. When he says that he feels “embarrassed” (235), she argues back that his embarrassment makes her feel like she occupies a lower status in life given her circumstances. She tells him that she could use his reality television fame to become an even bigger celebrity. When Deirdre puts this into perspective, he agrees that she makes a good point. He decides to delay talking to Mr. Fletcher.
When Gerald meets up with Hannah after school to ride to work together, he continues pretending that he has not read her birthday card for him, even though she can see that the envelope has been opened.
At the PEC Center, a male customer is rude to Hannah. Gerald threatens him and nearly gets into a fight until Beth intervenes. When he takes Hannah home later, she expresses to him, “You scared me” (240). She was frightened by how angry he reacted towards the rude customer, in addition to the bruises he received from the boxing gym. She says that she thinks that they are “soulmates” (243), but his anger issues make her doubt if she can be with him. This frustrates Gerald, who insists that he would never hurt her. Eventually, they reconcile. Gerald asks that they continue moving slowly through their relationship as “This shit scares me” (246).
When Gerald returns home, he finds a note from his parents wishing him a happy birthday and a prepaid gas card worth 300 dollars.
For the taping of the third episode of Network Nanny, the producers want to feature all the families that have appeared on the show to have them speak on how their lives have changed since their episodes aired. Gerald can’t stop thinking about Tasha’s new pillow trick, which involves suffocating him with a pillow until he nearly loses consciousness. When she lifts the pillow, Gerald visits Gersday in his head and remains mute. When the producers interview the family about what has changed, Gerald can’t lie and pretend that everything is fine. When asked how school is going for him, he responds, “School would be better if Tasha wasn’t trying to kill me all the time” (250).
Gerald pretends to be sick to get out of going to school. When his parents leave, he picks up Hannah from her house and brings them to Ashley and Nathan’s place. Once there, they all start talking about a girl on television who called in a bomb threat to the school. Gerald cannot help hallucinating everyone as Disney characters. He feels confused because their place is so peaceful that it begins to feel like Gersday. They spend the rest of the day watching Jaws. Hannah continues her fascination with Ashley and Nathan’s aquarium tank and declares that she wants to be a marine biologist one day. Gerald feels stunned by how supportive Ashley and Nathan are of her dreams.
When Gerald and Hannah part ways, he kisses her for the first time. When he returns home, he finds that Tasha has thrown a party. He takes a picture of the party and sends it to his father who tells him to leave as he is about to call the cops. At his room, Gerald packs and calls Lisi to see if she remembers Tasha trying to drown him when he was younger. Lisi tells him that Tasha tried to drown her as well. It becomes clear that Gerald cannot stay in the house. As he tries to leave, Tasha forces a young girl to kiss him. The young girl turns out to be Jacko’s girlfriend. This angers Jacko, who then attacks Gerald. Tasha laughs in the background.
Gerald’s growing reconciliation with his past trauma also opens him up to vulnerable experiences of love with Hannah. When Hannah takes a risk by telling Gerald that she loves him, he struggles to respond because he does not have a preexisting framework for understanding how to love someone genuinely. While it seems that he reacts poorly at first, he finally expresses vulnerably to Hannah, admitting that “This shit scares me” (246). By relaying his fears and remaining open to the ways that the relationship can grow, he demonstrates his capacity to change the trajectory of his life. While the way he lived his life before Hannah had always been rooted in the anger and fear he experienced from his childhood, he feels moved to try something different for himself.
Chapter 48 presents a major turning point for Gerald in the novel. While his fantasies about running away had merely been a form of playful discussion before, the heightened circumstances of Tasha’s cruelty make sharing a house with her impossible. By inviting Jacko to the house party and fueling tensions by forcing Jacko’s girlfriend onto Gerald, Tasha shows that she is determined to put her brother in violent situations in which he risks jailtime based on his response to these situations. When Gerald finally leaves, he makes it clear that he will not endure any more of this behavior, thus finally breaking with his troubled past—or so it seems.



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