Still Me

The chapter opens with an email from Louisa to Lily, Will’s daughter, in which she updates Lily about her work, her life, and how Sam is doing.

On Monday morning Sam is feeling better; the two make love, leaving Louisa late for work. Agnes is in a bad mood, as she is stressed about an event later that evening, to which she is supposed to bring some art; however, none of the other society ladies had told her about this requirement in time. Louisa is unable to find any artists willing to create something for Agnes on such short notice; in desperation, she rings up Josh, who connects them to an artist named Steven Lipkott. On the way to the artist’s studio, Louisa texts Sam, who is feeling alright now. She hopes to get off work early and spend time with him before he leaves in the evening.

At Lipkott’s studio, Louisa rushes up to talk to the artist; he flat out refuses her request for a “doodle,” saying that he “[hates] that charity dinner shit” (124). However, Agnes arrives as well and she commiserates with him about how she hates it too but needs to take the art with her to prevent being looked down upon. Mesmerized by Agnes’s beauty, Lipkott agrees on the condition that he draws her.

Louisa waits in the car for Agnes, who spends almost two hours alone with Lipkott; they then stop for wrapping paper on the way before heading home for Agnes to dress. Louisa requests to be let off early on account of Sam being in town; Agnes distractedly agrees but asks Louisa to stay until she is dressed. The exercise takes so long that Louisa ultimately has to meet Sam at the airport shortly before he is due to leave. As she apologizes and they exchange goodbyes, Josh calls to check on how things went with Lipkott. Sam is upset by this, but they eventually reconcile and cheer up at the thought of Louisa visiting home for Christmas.

Back at the apartment, Louisa confides in Nathan about how upset she is about the weekend as well as Agnes not letting her go early. Nathan reminds her that they are dispensable employees to the Gopniks—despite 22 years of service, their previous social secretary had been let go without an afterthought because she had apparently been talking behind Agnes’s back. While there are perks to their jobs, Nathan tells Louisa that the “cost of all that might turn out to be a relationship with someone whose life is completely different and a million miles away” (134).

The chapter opens with an email from Louisa to her mother, which includes descriptions about the extravagance of Agnes’s life and an enquiry about Louisa’s granddad whose health has been failing.

Louisa finds Agnes’s mercurial mood shifts difficult to fathom; she confides in her sister, Treena, about this. The sisters further talk about the recent romance in Treena’s life, but she refuses to give details about her new partner.

Louisa runs into Mrs. De Witt again, who is initially grouchy and complains about Agnes’s loud yelling. She then examines Louisa’s outfit—“a fine-pleated gold skirt, [a] fake fur gilet and a beanie hat coloured like a giant strawberry [… and] bright red patent brogues” (139)—and comments that she has the same skirt from the label Biba; Louisa exclaims that the skirt is indeed Biba, bought through an online auction some years ago. Before she hobbles off, Mrs. De Witt reveals that she used to work in fashion.

Agnes asks Louisa to FedEx a parcel to Poland for her mother and pay in cash; she refuses to reveal the contents, however, and Louisa is forced to make up an answer when asked at the FedEx office.

Louisa calls Sam on Friday, and a woman initially picks up; Sam explains that it’s his new partner, Katie Ingram, who lives down the road and is giving him a lift somewhere. Sam rushes to hang up as he is running late; Louisa once again asks him to write to her, but he answers noncommittally. Louisa spends the weekend looking up Katie on social media and finds a recent photograph of her with her arm around Sam, captioned “Best partner in the WORLD […] Loving my new job!” (145). Louisa begins to feel jealous and insecure.

On Monday, Agnes and Louisa buy clothes for Agnes’s niece, which Louisa once again couriers to Poland. Agnes wants to bring her sister to New York for work, but her sister doesn’t want to leave Poland. Agnes then unexpectedly announces that she has an art lesson with Lipkott. She instructs Louisa not to mention it to Mr. Gopnik, as it is a surprise for him, and proceeds to spend almost three hours with Lipkott while Louisa waits in the car. When Louisa tries to talk about this with Garry, he advises her to “see nothing, hear nothing, forget everything” (149) if she wants to keep her job.

The chapter opens with a letter from Louisa to Thom; among other things, she tells him she has gotten him and someone else she knows a baseball cap.

Louisa and Agnes head to a country club where Agnes has to deliver a retirement speech for one of the long-serving staff, Mary, as a stand-in for Mr. Gopnik, who is busy at work. Agnes and Louisa are seated at the same table as Kathryn and Tabitha, who are unexpectedly in attendance, and Agnes grows increasingly uncomfortable and insecure. In an attempt to rescue her, Louisa asks Agnes to show her the restroom, but Kathryn insists on doing so instead.

In the restroom, Kathryn asks Louisa how Mr. Gopnik is doing, and Louisa doesn’t know how to answer. Kathryn surmises what Louisa has been told about her but suggests that “life is rarely black and white” (157); Louisa agrees, using the same idea to argue that “Agnes is a good person. Smart. Kind. Cultured. And not a gold-digger” (157). Kathryn simply asserts that she is glad her ex-husband is well and doesn’t say anything else to Louisa for the rest of the afternoon.

Agnes eventually delivers her speech, which is well-practiced and received politely. However, Kathryn spontaneously stands up to say a few words and delivers a speech that is warm and full of personal anecdotes about Mary; Kathryn additionally thanks Mary for upholding the club’s “old-fashioned” values—“consistency, excellence and loyalty” (160)—and her words are met with a standing ovation.

After work, Louisa joins Nathan and his friends at a bar, where she runs into Josh. She comes clean to him about how she is actually Agnes’s assistant, which Josh says he had already guessed; she also tells him about Sam, and Josh good-naturedly expresses his disappointment at her already having a boyfriend.

Later that night Louisa drunkenly calls Sam; he is reading a book Katie lent him, and the two argue. Louisa insists that Katie has feelings for Sam and simultaneously divulges that she rejected Josh’s advances. The conversation angers Sam, and he eventually hangs up on Louisa when he discovers she looked up Katie on social media.

Louisa falls asleep uneasily and wakes up to a desperate Mrs. De Witt knocking at her door. Dean Martin has gone missing, and Mrs. De Witt can’t walk well, so she wants Louisa’s help: “He’s all I have. You have to find him” (170).

Louisa scours the building and eventually finds the dog downstairs; she picks him up and wrestles him back to Mrs. De Witt and is bitten in the process. Louisa’s screams bring an angry Mr. Gopnik to investigate the source of the commotion; an unsympathetic and seemingly ungrateful Mrs. De Witt blames Louisa for starting the racket by handling her dog roughly and further berates Mr. Gopnik for his apartment always being noisy before going back to her place. Mr. Gopnik arranges for Louisa’s wound to get looked at while Agnes suggests Louisa sue Mrs. De Witt; however, Louisa can’t stop thinking about Mrs. De Witt claiming that the dog is all she has.

Agnes decides to visit Poland for a week, and Louisa is relieved for the time off. Louisa emails Sam hoping to visit him back home during this time, but Sam replies that it is not a good weekend to do so; this leaves Louisa feeling anxious about their relationship.

On her first day off, Louisa wanders the city and comes across a store that sells vintage clothing—she is thrilled by the discovery, “feeling as if [she] had somehow recovered a part of [herself she] had barely known [she] was missing” (176). Louisa picks up a few things and befriends the storeowner, who gives Louisa her card and asks Louisa to call her if she ever wants to sell anything. Louisa spends the evening trying on her clothes and thinking about Sam and Katie. Josh messages her to invite her out for a beer, but she turns him down though she regrets it a little. Lonely and frustrated, Louisa sends an email to Sam later that night asking if he still misses her.

Louisa wakes up regretting her email, to which Sam still hasn’t responded. Feeling sad and homesick, she calls her mom who chats with her and gives her news from home: Treena has been very happy of late with her new partner, though she still won’t divulge any details.

After hanging up, Louisa decides to step out to take her mind off things. She comes across Ashok’s wife Meena, who is yelling at him in the lobby—Ashok is working again on an off-day, but Meena can’t watch the kids as she has to attend a march to save their library in Washington Heights. Meena leaves her three children with an overwhelmed Ashok prompting Louisa to offer to watch them.

Louisa enjoys herself with the three children, though she has her hands full. Midway through babysitting them, Ilaria walks in on them. Louisa is initially terrified at being caught by her, but Ilaria shepherds the children into the kitchen and watches over them lovingly. Louisa eventually puts the youngest child to sleep in her room; just as the baby falls asleep, Sam arrives.

Louisa is thrilled by Sam’s surprise visit. They chat and catch up until Meena arrives to collect the kids, thanking Louisa and Ilaria. Ilaria instructs Louisa to make sure Mr. Gopnik doesn’t see Sam, and Louisa thanks her for helping with everything. Louisa and Sam go out to dinner, but they avoid the topics of Josh or Katie. In New Yorker style, Louisa whistles and hails down a cab to take them home, which seems to disconcert Sam. Back at the apartment, Sam expresses how strange it feels to see Louisa there. He thinks she has changed and tells her that “[you’ve] grown into yourself. Or maybe you’ve grown into someone else” (196). Desperate to prove she is still the same, Louisa makes love to Sam uninhibitedly and with a sense of urgency. She later acknowledges to herself that part of her was also driven to do so to prove to Sam that she was better than Katie.

Louisa and Sam sleep in and head into the city upon waking. Sam tells Louisa that his sister who passed away had always wanted to visit New York and go to the top of the Rockefeller Center. Louisa tells Sam that she thinks Will would have been proud of her for her new life, and Sam agrees. Louisa asks Sam to move to New York with her, but Sam says he can’t do so yet, as he is still working on his house.

Louisa takes Sam to the vintage clothes store before they head out for the night to a bar at Nathan’s invitation. While at the store they bump into Josh. Sam turns grim and is cold to Josh. Back at the apartment Sam apologizes to Louisa and says that it surprised him how much Josh looks like Will. They reconcile and make love before going to bed.

Louisa and Sam wake up early the next morning, as Sam has to catch a flight back home. Sam discovers a pregnancy test in the bathroom and asks Louisa about it; Louisa asserts that it is not hers, but Sam doesn’t believe her. He thinks Louisa has been cheating on him with Josh, and he brings up how much he looks like Will. Louisa is hurt, and Sam leaves without resolving their fight.

Louisa asks Agnes about the pregnancy test when she returns, and Agnes admits it was hers. She couldn’t dispose of it in her own trash, as Mr. Gopnik has made it clear he does not want more children. When Louisa asks more about this, Agnes cuts the conversation short and hastily apologizes before abruptly dismissing her. Having overheard this, Ilaria warns Louisa about Agnes: “The puta would sell you down the river if it meant she saved herself” (211). Later that day, Louisa receives a package addressed to her containing a “vintage Biba scarf, decorated with a print of peacock feathers” (212) and a note that reads “Thank you for saving my dog” (212), signed “Margot De Witt.”