Still Me

Sam is a paramedic and Louisa’s boyfriend back in England. Although Louisa and Sam have not been together long even as the book begins, he is nevertheless deeply in love with her. He is also initially on break from work, as he is recovering from a recent gunshot injury incurred at work. Simultaneously, Sam is building a house for himself from scratch.

In contrast to an effusive Louisa, Sam is not extremely expressive, and this causes the couple difficulties when they have to maintain a long-distance relationship. Sam is also in an emotionally vulnerable place as the book begins, as his trusted work partner leaves her job and Louisa moves across the ocean for her new one. Sam’s general diffidence, aggravated by the self-consciousness he feels when he sees Louisa’s new, fancy life in contrast to his much less exciting one, leads him to withdraw even further. The increasing loneliness he feels leads him to seek solace from his new coworker Katie in a moment of weakness. This leads to Sam and Louisa’s breakup.

However, seeing Louisa again at her granddad’s funeral reminds Sam of how much she means to him. He eventually begins to put in the effort and establish an honest and consistent line of communication with her and overcomes his initial reticence. This effort on Sam’s part and how he eventually completes building the house display his generally stable nature and great capacity for perseverance. With these foundational characteristics already in place, Sam and Louisa’s story arc displays how even the best of relationships require effort and open communication for them to thrive.

Margo De Witt is one of the residents at the Lavery and the only neighbor of the Gopniks with whom Louisa has any contact. Mrs. De Witt used to be a fashion editor in her youth; she was married for a short while, but her husband passed away shortly after, and she then had a short affair with a married man, which resulted in the birth of her son Frank out of wedlock.

For most of the story, Mrs. De Witt is seen living alone in her apartment with just her dog Dean Martin for company. She comes across as cantankerous and ill-tempered, constantly complaining about something. However, as Louisa gets to know Mrs. De Witt, the reader is also exposed to a different side of the character. An intelligent and fiercely independent woman, it is her loneliness caused by the estrangement from her family that leads Mrs. De Witt to be cranky. Her rudeness is a product of her blunt and forthright nature and is heightened by the pain of her terminal illness.

Mrs. De Witt’s character is a reminder of how women are often required to choose between having a career or a family. Mrs. De Witt’s choice of a career and independence leads to an estrangement from her son; when she eventually does reconcile with him, she has to leave behind her home and her dog. Despite this, however, Mrs. De Witt is not painted as someone to be pitied—strong-willed and sharp-tongued even in the face of death, she displays how it is important to be willing to face one’s reality without flinching and to be unapologetic about the choices one makes in life.

The Gopniks are Louisa’s employers when she arrives in New York City. Leonard Gopnik belongs to an upper-class family of generational wealth; his current wife, Agnes, is a young Polish immigrant the same age as Louisa, who used to be a masseuse. Kathryn, his ex-wife, is of a similar background as her ex-husband and continues to be well-received in high society circles. Leonard and Kathryn’s daughter Tabitha is a snobbish young woman in her early 20s who is deeply antagonistic and condescending toward her new stepmother and Louisa.

The Gopniks are representative of the kind of life and values espoused by the New York elite. Mr. Gopnik is fairly conventional in many ways despite having married someone like Agnes. He places a great deal of importance on certain conventions and appearances, which is exemplified by his insistence on a family Thanksgiving and Agnes’s attendance as his wife at events she despises. While generally polite and good-natured with this staff, there is no doubt about the hierarchy of his and his family’s relationship with them. Mr. Gopnik sees the people working for him as immensely dispensable resources and little else. Tabitha and Kathryn seem to embody these same expectations of unwavering loyalty from their staff and a clear understanding of their employees’ places beneath them.

Agnes comes from a different background than the other Gopniks, being an immigrant who married into this kind of life. She does not quite fit in, and this causes a great deal of issues for her new family as well as her staff. Agnes’s background, including the existence of her secret child, contribute to her fairly selfish and self-serving attitudes. Having experienced hardship in the past, Agnes is determined to succeed in her new life at any cost. This causes her to conduct her affairs in secret, even if it implicates others in negative ways; when Louisa is eventually fired for keeping Agnes’s indiscretions quiet, Agnes does not do anything to redeem Louisa or even help her in any way.

Ilaria, Nathan, Ashok, and Meena are some of the people who eventually form Louisa’s circle of friends in New York. They are representative of a very different world from the Gopniks. Ilaria is the Gopniks’ housekeeper and Nathan is Mr. Gopnik’s personal physical therapist. Ashok works as the doorman at the Lavery and is married to Meena, with whom he has three children.

Ilaria and Nathan occupy similar social positions as Louisa within the Gopniks’ world, being paid employees. Unlike Louisa, who is naive about the workings of this world, Ilaria and Nathan are both well-aware of the realities of their position. Ilaria warns Louisa about Agnes, and Nathan tells her about what happened with the Gopniks’ previous social secretary. Where Louisa humanizes the Gopniks and imagines that she has a real friendship with Agnes, Nathan and Ilaria understand they merely employees and are completely dispensable to the Gopniks.

Ashok and Meena bring Louisa in contact with the Washington Heights library and the community that revolves around it. They are Louisa’s way into a contrasting world and are representative of the population on the opposite side of the Gopniks in the class divide. The warmth and kindness Ashok and Meena show Louisa stands in sharp contrast to the superficial relationship she shares with the Gopniks and Agnes in particular.

Joshua William Ryan the Third, or Josh, is young man Louisa befriends during the Yellow Ball and briefly dates after breaking up with Sam. Josh is a Bostonian and, like Louisa, also new to the city; his family, however, belongs to old money, similar to the Gopniks. Louisa is initially drawn to Josh because he bears a striking resemblance to Will.

Josh is charming, ambitious, and determined to make it big in New York. He has a plan for how his life and career ought to pan out, and everything he does is calculated to advance this plan. While Josh initially falls for Louisa because of her refreshing honesty, he nevertheless does not accept or appreciate her for who she really is. While content to allow for her fashion eccentricities when they are alone, Josh is embarrassed about it when they have to interact with his colleagues. Besides pressuring her to change her outfit, he also lies about Louisa’s work. Louisa’s relationship with Josh is a short-lived one, as she realizes that although Josh looks like Will, he is not like him at all, especially when it comes to encouraging Louisa to be her own person.