The Courage to be Happy: Discover the Power of Positive Psychology and Choose Happiness Every Day

In his discussion of communities, Adler argues that all societies divide labor to function effectively. Each individual member of the society has a specific skill or task that they must complete to feel self-pride and contribute to their community. Because societies are essential to human survival, people must believe in and trust one another. Each person upholds a particular purpose in society by fulfilling their individual tasks. This concept originates from the notion that humans are wired toward human connection for survival. Adler holds that this orientation toward community—and thus collaborative labor—is unique to the human species.

Adler argues that if the individual does not have a sense of belonging, they will engage in five problem behaviors. These behaviors include demanding admiration from others by acting “good” and seeking praise, drawing attention to oneself by acting out, engaging in power struggles and rebelling against perceived authority, seeking revenge against others in cruel ways, and pretending to be incompetent to engender others’ sympathy and attention. While the first three problem behaviors are typical in developing children, the individual may become unreachable if the behaviors are not addressed by the third stage. According to Adler, the individual can move away from these behaviors by taking more responsibility for themselves.

Life tasks are acts of labor that the individual might undertake to contribute to society, form healthy relationships, and find happiness. Adlerian psychology posits that the three primary life tasks are work, friendship, and love. If the individual shows love to others, devotes themselves to their work and their community, and treats everyone in their life with respect and empathy, they will find happiness.

Self-reliance, according to Adler, means taking responsibility for oneself and taking pride in one’s work. If a person is self-reliant, they work hard, value themselves, and invest in their relationships. Absent self-reliance, the individual might lean too heavily on others, demand attention from others, emotionally manipulate others to avoid self-reflection, and become a burden to their community.