The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture

One of Maté’s central claims is that the roots of illness are often laid down in childhood, especially when children are forced to choose between emotional authenticity and attachment to caregivers. The suppression of emotions in pursuit of parental approval—often reinforced by cultural norms—leads to chronic stress and physiological wear. He cites examples ranging from increased autoimmune disease among "people-pleasers" to the impact of maternal stress on fetal development. These insights have practical applications not only for individuals but for social systems. Public health initiatives could use this insight to prioritize parental leave, early childhood mental health screening, and emotional education in schools. Therapeutically, approaches like attachment-based parenting, trauma-informed pedagogy, and consistent caregiver relationships in foster systems can help mitigate developmental harm. For individuals, Maté’s work highlights the importance of reparenting techniques—a therapeutic approach in which patients learn to “parent” themselves, meeting the emotional needs that their own parents did not meet in their childhoods—boundary-setting, and emotional literacy as avenues for long-term healing.

Rather than viewing addiction as either a moral failing or a genetically predetermined disorder, Maté proposes a relational model built on his own biopsychosocial framework—accounting for the interrelation between physiological, psychological, and social causes. He argues that addiction—whether to substances, work, food, or social media—is an attempt to soothe emotional pain rooted in early disconnection or trauma. Addiction becomes a substitute for what is missing: safety, belonging, or validation. This model encourages a compassionate, non-punitive response to addiction that emphasizes healing over abstinence. In practical terms, harm reduction, peer-led recovery programs, and therapies like Compassionate Inquiry (developed by Maté) seek to uncover the unmet needs driving addictive behavior. Organizations might train staff to recognize addiction as a trauma response rather than a behavioral defect. Individuals might also reflect on their own compulsive patterns through journaling or therapy, asking not "why the addiction?" but "why the pain?"

Maté critiques the dominance of the biomedical model, which tends to treat symptoms in isolation and prioritize pharmacological interventions. He argues that this model often ignores the interconnectedness of body, mind, and environment, leading to incomplete or even harmful care. For instance, emotional suppression has been linked to immune dysfunction, yet standard medical practices rarely explore a patient’s emotional life. A biopsychosocial approach, by contrast, considers how factors such as trauma, socioeconomic status, and cultural expectations contribute to illness. This framework has practical applications for both healthcare institutions and individuals. Hospitals and clinics might integrate mental health assessments into primary care visits or include social workers as part of interdisciplinary teams. Policy-wise, health systems could prioritize prevention and education over reactive care. On an individual level, patients can become more active in their own care by exploring how emotional and social dynamics influence their physical health.

Maté emphasizes that social hierarchies—racism, sexism, classism—become biologically embedded, producing unequal health outcomes across populations. He draws on studies showing that systemic stressors disproportionately affect marginalized groups, leading to higher rates of chronic illness, mental health issues, and shortened life expectancy. The stress of being "othered" or discriminated against contributes to what he calls an "assaulted sense of self." Practically, this means that equity work has medical as well as moral value: Policies that reduce discrimination and increase inclusion directly impact public health. Workplaces should address unconscious bias and microaggressions not only to improve morale but to reduce stress-related illness, thus improving productivity. Healthcare providers can improve outcomes by taking cultural humility seriously, screening for social determinants of health, and advocating for systemic reform.