The Next Great Paulie Fink

Caitlyn enjoys interviewing because she’s “in charge” and it distracts her from the upcoming sleepover. The Originals urge her to begin the competition, and she acquiesces, declaring after soccer practice on September 29 that Monday is “Talk Like Shakespeare Day” (167). Timothy chants that the challenge stinks.

Mira and Caitlyn’s other friends video call her from the sleepover, which was rescheduled to accommodate their new friend Gigi’s schedule. Caitlyn tries to laugh at their happy updates. She gives an overview of her life in Vermont, but her friends don’t seem interested. She asks about Anna Spang, and her friends reply that she’s still “pathetic” and then hang up. Caitlyn realizes that the place she once considered home isn’t home anymore. 

At school on Monday, the twins arrive in “2B” and “NOT 2B” T-shirts. Caitlyn is the only one who forgot about the challenge.

In an interview with Fiona, she details her research for the Shakespeare challenge, marveling at the extent of his insults. She notes that she wasn’t the only one who discovered the Shakespearean insult website.

The Originals yell Shakespearean insults at one another before wrestling near the goat pen and throwing goat food. 

In an interview with Gabby, she tells Caitlyn that she reminds her of Maryellen, a quiet Megastar contestant who turned out to be ambitious. Maryellen’s example inspired Gabby to be quiet to make it to the next round, but the strategy didn’t work.

The Originals praise Caitlyn for starting Mitchell’s first-ever food fight with goat food, calling it “classic Paulie.” Caitlyn takes a victory lap while wearing Fiona’s blazer. 

In a Megastar creed, Gabby lists things one should know from watching Megastar: 1) that you shouldn’t predict the ending, 2) that there are heroes and villains, 3) that you should know yourself, 4) that you should fearlessly immerse yourself in the experience, 5) that you should cherish honor more than a prize, and 6) that winning isn’t guaranteed. 

In an interview with Henry, he explains that he first discovered the “bad news” when he accidentally read an email saying that Mitchell couldn’t afford to stay open.

At Gabby’s house, Gabby instructs Caitlyn to memorize the Megastar creed and write a speech to explain the competition’s rules. Caitlyn wishes she could be like Jadelicious and act like she doesn’t care, and Gabby shows her an article with Jadelicious’s advice to “fake it until you make it” (188).

Caitlyn gives her speech, congratulating the participants on completing their first challenge and sharing her understanding of Paulie as a “fearless prankster” and “troublemaker.” She establishes ground rules for the competition. 

After the speech, Caitlyn eliminates Gabby from the competition because she couldn’t take on a different persona like Paulie could. Gabby sacrifices a photo of Jadelicious to the Paulie statue because Megastar inspired the competition.

Paulie’s Mini-geddon inspires the second challenge: to lead the most Minis through an activity. Diego sighs because he wants to do a running challenge, so Caitlyn orders him to run the field 10 times. When he protests, she has him reread the rules of the competition, which remind him that Caitlyn designs the challenges and Originals must participate as directed or face elimination. Caitlyn posts the rules on the Paulie statue so that the Originals won’t forget them.

Yumi plays the ukulele for Minis while Fiona tries to talk to Minis who would rather play on the swings. Gabby tells Caitlyn that Henry is building a fort with six Minis and that Diego is showing four Minis soccer tricks. The twins play their zombie-werewolf game with confused Minis. Willow hosts a yoga class in the goat pen, inspired by her mom who teaches goat yoga at a farm in Devlinshire. The grumpy old goat pees on Willow’s hand during child’s pose, and her shrieking startles the goats. Caitlyn runs into the pen, rescuing Fuzzy from the goats. Fuzzy clings to Caitlyn while crying.

Mags draws an index card that has “goats” written on it, inspiring a lesson on the importance of goats in the ancient Greek world: as food, as key figures in myth, and as sacrificial animals. She teaches that during hard times, people hit a person with twigs and branches during a pharmakos, or paraded through town to create katharsis, which released negative feelings. Eventually, the Greeks replaced the human in the pharmakos with an animal, often a goat. Yumi points out the English word “scapegoat,” which Mags confirms derives from this incident. 

Caitlyn remembers teachers at her old school asking why everyone scapegoats Anna Spang, reflecting that their lectures “missed the point” (205). Caitlyn can’t identify the reason she was mean to Anna. Caitlyn tells her class that she thinks the Greeks were mistaken, arguing that their lives probably didn’t improve immediately upon completing the pharmakos. Caitlyn wonders how Henry, who is “obsessed” with objectivity, can believe in the power of pharmakos. 

In an interview with Henry, he explains that he understands why the Greeks used pharmakos: The brain needs ways to relieve itself of perpetually cycling through the same problems. 

In an interview with Gabby, she explains that all reality TV shows have a scapegoat. Most of the time, the scapegoat isn’t talented, but they may be villainous. Jadelicious’s adversary, Rexx Rowdy, bullied Jadelicious during performances and openly disparaged her, encouraging his fans to do the same. When he was eliminated, Gabby recalls dancing around with her grandma in katharsis.

Caitlyn eliminates Willow, Sam, and Lydia when they insist on being eliminated together. Caitlyn announces that the next competition is to make someone fall on a banana peel. Henry protests, saying that Paulie knew the difference between being mean and funny. The Originals argue over Paulie’s intent with the science project, and Henry remains firm that this challenge is unfair because of the trickery and danger involved. Caitlyn asks if Henry wants to be eliminated. He doesn’t reply, so Caitlyn declares that the competition has begun—without Henry. Henry feeds the goats alone. 

Caitlyn remembers when she asked Anna if she knew she was a giant dork. Anna reminded Caitlyn that she’d said the same thing numerous times before. Caitlyn had the last word but felt “unsteady” because Anna’s point suggested that there was “something wrong” with Caitlyn.

Caitlyn replays Henry’s words, “There’s a hundred percent chance that it’s mean” (217), in her head all morning. Mags teaches the Originals that arete entails being your best self at all times. Caitlyn feels “small” throughout the lesson. 

At lunch, Caitlyn tells Fuzzy she needs a break from telling stories about Paulie. The remaining competitors have banana peels beside them at lunch and dig through the garbage for more. When Glebus approaches, Timothy and Thomas blame Caitlyn before Henry interjects that Caitlyn wanted to feed the food scraps to the goats. Glebus agrees that feeding the goats would be “thoughtful,” asking Caitlyn and Henry to do just that. 

Caitlyn calls their goat feeding the “second meeting of the Unoriginals” (221), and Henry points out that Paulie was an Unoriginal as well. Caitlyn admits that the banana peel competition was “dumb” before thanking Henry for saving her. Caitlyn explains that she was a “jerk” to one girl at her last school. Henry admits that he doesn’t know what Paulie would have done with the peels if they weren’t found. Henry doesn’t mind being eliminated because he doesn’t want to be the next Paulie. Caitlyn sympathizes in her mind, reflecting that it’s hard enough to figure yourself out before adding another identity. 

Caitlyn eliminates Timothy and Thomas, and Henry withdraws, leaving Fiona, Diego, and Yumi in the competition.

In an interview, Henry recalls how lonely he felt in the moment when he felt the ground beneath him disappear at Miller’s Creek. That’s why he told Caitlyn his secret.

Henry shows Caitlyn the transcript of the Mitchell Town Council meeting on August 27 and makes her swear on the Unoriginals not to share that the council decided the school must close.

Caitlyn rereads the transcript three times and then asks what will happen to “[them].” Henry talks about schools closing in many places. 

Caitlyn sees Fuzzy refuse to ring the Good Day Bell despite reading three different words in class, according to Mr. Twilling, her teacher. Caitlyn runs over and tells her she should break their pinky promise and ring the bell. They do so together, and Caitlyn realizes she doesn’t want the school to close.

Caitlyn and Gabby watch Megastar for inspiration at Gabby’s house and agree with Gabby’s grandma that Rexx Rowdy is a bully. Caitlyn asks about a photo of Gabby’s dad, who died of stomach cancer when Gabby was in the fifth grade. Gabby’s mom is gone, too, she says, from “a different sort of sickness” (234).

When Rexx takes the stage after locking Jadelicious in her dressing room, Gabby wishes she could make him the scapegoat in pharmakos. Gabby asks Caitlyn about her mom, and Caitlyn admits that she’s not from New York City; she lied because she wanted to make herself seem more interesting. Gabby tells Caitlyn that everyone was “freaking out” about her arrival and she didn’t need to be more interesting. After watching Jadelicious take the stage, Gabby says she knew the truth through her grandma, who saw Caitlyn’s mom at the clinic last week, but it doesn’t matter to her.

On the drive home, Caitlyn asks her mom how she’s doing since they moved to Vermont. Caitlyn’s mom replies that the job is harder than she expected but she does her best. She wishes she had a friend, and Caitlyn realizes that adults struggle with friendships too.

As they pass the old Oxthorpe textile factory, Caitlyn thinks it looks “creepy.” Her mom points out the wildflowers’ beauty in the light, which reminds Caitlyn of the fable of the elephant, in which “a bunch of people who couldn’t see were asked to describe an elephant based only on touch […] All of them were right, and at the same time all of them were wrong. Or rather, they were all wrong, until you added all of their impressions together” (389).

Caitlyn walks through the statue garden on her way into school and talks with Mags about kleos. Mags agrees when Caitlyn says that everything known is “always incomplete” and adds that an individual can only truly know themselves. When Caitlyn asks about the veracity of the stories about Paulie, Mags says that storytelling involves choices and emphasis; these processes distinguish stories from “a collection of facts” (243). Mags offers an example by reframing democracy as an ancient process that denied suffrage to three quarters of the population, and then she continues to talk about how the Greeks enslaved people and disliked outsiders. Caitlyn calls the ancient Greeks hypocrites, questioning why people think they were great. Mags explains that people study them because the ancient Greeks and modern people grapple with the same issues. Mags wonders aloud what Julius Oxthorpe would think about people sitting in his statue garden and talking about myths. Mags enjoys that the space makes her feel like she’s “claiming something that was never intended for [her]” (245)—which is why she studied classics, too. Caitlyn thinks Mags is a rebel and a disruptor.

Caitlyn announces that the next challenge is to hide in Glebus’s office. The first person to be kicked out will be eliminated. 

In an interview, Yumi recalls feeling like a Shakespearean character at the end of a drama, which often includes sneaking around. Fiona beat Diego to the closet, where she hid. Yumi tried hiding behind Glebus’s desk but didn’t fit. Diego tried hiding behind the blinds, but his feet were visible, so he joined Fiona in the closet as Glebus entered to find Yumi standing flat against the wall.

In an interview with Fiona, she recalls telling Diego to leave the closet, but Glebus entered and yelled at Yumi. They “death stared” at one another as Yumi left, and Glebus returned a phone call from the Northland Free Press.

Fiona and Diego have not returned by lunch, so the students walk by Glebus’s office to see her on the phone. After lunch, Timothy tells Mr. Farabi that the pair are in Glebus’s office; Diego and Fiona arrive 20 minutes later and sit down silently at their desks. 

In an interview with Diego, he shares that he wasn’t listening at first but tuned in when Glebus began talking about how various things, like laying off teachers or salary reductions, wouldn’t solve the problem. Diego looked at Fiona, and they realized “it was real […] somebody was trying to close the school” (254). 

In a letter from Glebus to the school on Thursday, October 12, she writes to share that a story will appear in the news soon about the Mitchell School, which is facing a budget crisis alongside the town. She mentions statistics about schools closing and adds that “statistics don’t have human faces” (255), before saying emergency funding or other solutions may present themselves. She emphasizes that the school matters and she will never forget that.

After the Originals hear about the school’s impending closure, “everything shifts,” and they don’t seem to care about the competition anymore. 

Glebus reassures every class that she’s doing all she can and that everyone will be okay. Caitlyn realizes that Glebus may be the “saddest” of them all and that authority figures have feelings too. Fiona asks if Devlinshire will close, and Yumi says it won’t because of their taxes. Caitlyn realizes that having money can impact the future of a school. Gabby suggests hosting a fundraiser, and Glebus replies that the school needs a lot of money. Gabby wants to make the issue viral like Megastar, and Yumi points out that Megastar isn’t real: The producers craft the narrative they want, no matter how “absurd” or unlikely.

In an interview, Fiona recalls seeing a newspaper article about the “looming” closure of the Mitchell School on the Paulie statue one morning. A second article appeared at recess, followed by a third before soccer practice. More notes followed, covering the Paulie statue. Fiona wrote a note of her own for the statue: “HELP.”

In an interview, Gabby recalls hiding bills from her father when he got sick and then sharing them when they knew he wouldn’t get better. Her family tried to raise money with bake sales and car washes, but it wasn’t enough. If she had been on Megastar, the producers would have filmed her family studying their bills before receiving a huge check from a rich donor. Gabby and her grandma began watching Megastar after the funeral, first as a distraction and then for hope that their lives might change.

Mags pulls a recess index card and decides to give the students recess rather than a lesson. Outside, she explains that they are living their good life—eudaimonia, as the Greeks called it. The Originals decide to play kickball. Fiona invokes Paulie’s name as she kicks the ball into the goat pen, and a goat deflates the ball, which Henry declares is a bad omen. Yumi turns the deflated ball into a head for Paulie’s statue, and Fiona wonders what it means to put a bad omen on a “good-luck charm” (267). Diego thinks it means “something unexpected.”

On the day of the Devlinshire soccer game, Mags draws Caitlyn’s card about being brave in the face of change, and she reminds the class that they are already being brave and showing honor, or arete. Camera crews arrive at the school to film. Gabby didn’t imagine being on TV in this way. 

Mr. Twilling asks Caitlyn to help Kiera, who refuses to leave the fort that Henry built during the Mini challenge. Caitlyn tells Kiera that she has also been afraid for a long time, which surprises Kiera because Caitlyn is “big.”

Caitlyn recalls a day last year when students made donkey noises at Anna during gym class. When Caitlyn found Anna alone in the locker room afterward, she thought that Anna looked “more real.” Caitlyn knew that if her friends were there, they would ignore Anna, and in a “different universe” perhaps she would have talked to Anna. Caitlyn walked away. Caitlyn reflects that “sometimes ordinary people do crummy things” (273). She wonders if she can be the person Fuzzy thinks she is.

Caitlyn tells Fuzzy a story about a girl who wishes she can turn hard and has a stone inside her that grows each day, making her mean, sad, and scared. One day, the girl meets “Real Rabbit” in the woods, who pulls the stone from her throat and throws it into the river. The girl feels “lighter,” and Real Rabbit is a “hero.”

Fuzzy asks if it hurt when the stone came out and if she said sorry for being mean. Caitlyn replies, “Not yet,” thinking that the whole thing must be simple for Fuzzy. Fuzzy feels braver and leaves the fort. Caitlyn walks with Fuzzy as the news people film them. Fuzzy asks if the stone will grow back, and Caitlyn replies that the girl “doesn’t want it to, but she’s not sure. She’s not certain about much of anything anymore” (279).

Devlinshire chants “Ring the bell!” upon arrival. The Originals watch helplessly as one of them rings the bell. Caitlyn asks what’s going on, and no one replies. Henry looks like he’s seen a ghost.