Agilulf is an entirely empty suit of pristine white armor serving in Charlemagne's army. He is animated solely by his willpower and a fanatical devotion to the holy cause and the code of chivalry. Because he lacks a physical body, he does not sleep or eat, spending his nights organizing the camp and meticulously preparing for battle. His strict, unyielding perfectionism frequently annoys the human knights around him, who fall far short of his impossible standards.

Raimbaut is an earnest young man who joins Charlemagne's forces with a singular goal: avenging the death of his father. He is deeply passionate but quickly becomes disillusioned by the bureaucratic, disorganized reality of the military camp. Desperate to find genuine purpose and honor in a cynical environment, he turns to Agilulf for guidance on how to be a true paladin.

A fierce, highly skilled female knight in Charlemagne's army and the chronicler of the novel's events. Disgusted by the lazy, oafish behavior of the human knights around her, she maintains gleaming armor and demands absolute order. From her position in a convent, she writes out the story as an act of penance, frequently commenting on her own frustrations with the limitations of language and conventional storytelling.

A chaotic, deranged peasant who lacks any fixed sense of identity. He mentally becomes whatever object or animal he is closest to, whether it is a piece of fruit, a tree, or a bowl of soup. Finding him highly amusing, Charlemagne jokingly appoints him as squire to the rigid, rule-bound Agilulf.

The aging Emperor of the Franks. Having spent decades fighting wars and building his empire, he is now thoroughly exhausted and forgetful, struggling to even remember the names of his most famous commanders. He leads the war against the Moors out of habit rather than passion, frequently stopping his army's march to observe trivial roadside amusements.

A young, highly pessimistic knight who rejects the legendary glory of Charlemagne's court. Originally from Cornwall, he claims his true father is the collective order of the Knights of the Holy Grail. He serves as a dark mirror to Raimbaut's earnest enthusiasm, viewing the chivalric code as a hollow, meaningless tradition.

Known as the virgin daughter of the King of Scotland. She was previously rescued by Agilulf from brigands in the woods, an event that earned the nonexistent knight his formal status. She spends much of her life being hidden away in convents or caves by overzealous knights determined to protect her chastity.

A Moorish commander known as the Argalif. He killed Raimbaut's father prior to the events of the story, making him the sole target of the young knight's battlefield ambitions. He relies on an assistant to carry his spectacles during combat.

The lady of a secluded castle populated entirely by women. She keeps supposedly wild bears on her property specifically to lure naive, chivalrous knights into her home so she can seduce them. She is completely unprepared for a visitor who lacks a physical body.

A wealthy foreign ruler who maintains 365 wives. He follows a strict routine of visiting a different wife each night and presenting her with an expensive pearl harvested by local fishermen.

The elected leader of the Knights of the Holy Grail. He spends his days in a nearly comatose state of religious ecstasy, communing with esoteric forces. When he occasionally mutters a sound, his followers interpret it as a divine command, usually resulting in violence against local villagers.