One of the major takeaways from the authors’ experiences is that peak moments are typically created by disrupting the status quo (i.e., by not allowing the individual to go into autopilot). When individuals cease to notice what is customary and repetitive, they typically remember what surprised them in a positive manner.

Disrupting the script changes the environment, incorporates sensory elements, or makes something different from the norm to create contrast. An example of this is transforming an ordinary swimming pool into a “story” by developing a small ritual or playful service detail. Transforming a traditional unit of study into a memorable day by changing the format of the unit (e.g., mock trial, demonstration/exhibition, public commitment), will similarly serve to break the script and enhance student memories of the event.

In practice, look for “template” experiences such as emails, meeting agendas, or routines, and create one thoughtful deviation that signals both intent and care for the individuals involved.

The authors emphasize that insight (the “aha!” moment) is not simply a spontaneous occurrence. Rather, insight can be generated through deliberate experience design that causes individuals to “see” their own behavior, identity, or assumptions in a different light.

They propose creating experiences that allow individuals to have an “insight moment.” Designing a subsequent experience connects the insight to a subsequent action. For example, in an educational setting, a teacher can provide students with experiential learning activities that illustrate their personal growth potential. In settings related to health or safety, create vivid, realistic demonstrations of risk.

The essential point is that insight is valuable only when it results in action. Ideally, the principle of designing experiences generates clear insights and connects the insights to a subsequent action. This makes the desired behavior easier for an individual to perform via coaching, tools, or some form of commitment.

The authors assert that pride is a potent motivator when earned, recognized, and reinforced. Individuals do not merely desire rewards; they wish to be seen for meaningful effort and progress toward achievement of valued goals. Leaders can create pride moments by recognizing specific actions (versus providing general praise); by celebrating significant milestones and achievements; and by providing opportunities for individuals to exhibit courage and/or competence.

Organizational examples of creating pride moments include shifting from annual awards to frequent, specific forms of recognition that reflect organizational values (This is what you did, and here is why it was important), and providing opportunities for employees to develop and demonstrate competencies.

Family examples include celebrating children’s “firsts”; recognizing and praising children for demonstrating persistence; etc. The authors further argue that the act of achieving milestones can significantly enhance motivation.

By creating a series of visible milestones (or “checkpoints”) along the journey toward a goal, individuals are able to perceive forward motion. As such, the practical application of this concept is to identify what constitutes success, to establish a series of checkpoints, and to recognize and celebrate each checkpoint in a manner that is perceived as authentic and personalized rather than procedural.

One of the primary messages of the authors is that meaningful relationships can be strengthened rapidly when others perceive that their needs are understood, validated, and cared for. Small, responsive gestures can alter the course of a relationship. Examples of these gestures include teachers visiting families to understand their needs (versus lecturing to them); caregivers asking customers, What matters to you? (versus merely asking, What’s wrong with you?); and service representatives acknowledging the prior difficulties experienced by a customer (versus ignoring them).

In practice, leaders can incorporate responsiveness into daily routines: begin one-on-one meetings with inquiries regarding the other person’s goals and obstacles; use reflection to confirm what you have heard during difficult conversations; and acknowledge previous effort and struggles experienced by another person before suggesting a next step.

This philosophy is equally applicable in the family context: substitute “curiosity” for “fix-it;” and demonstrate to the other person that you remember what matters to him/her. The central message is that the quality of connection is often more dependent upon the quantity of high-quality signals of attention and regard than upon the amount of time spent together.