54 pages • 1-hour read
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Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of pregnancy loss, child abuse, substance use, addiction, and child death.
By spring, Lauren feels the physical effects of pregnancy and begins to worry about the future. David reminds her that there are couples ready to adopt. She knows that if she keeps the baby, their relationship will be over. Then, a letter arrives from USC: Lauren has received a full scholarship. Her mind knows college is the right thing to do, but her heart yearns for the baby. When she asks if they can meet the couples who want to adopt, David happily murmurs that he loves her. Lauren accuses him of getting everything he wants, however, and her anger fuels an in-depth conversation.
Meanwhile, Angie goes to her storage space to get nursery items for Lauren. She feels surprisingly free. Back home, a teary-eyed Lauren shows her the USC acceptance and scholarship. When David looks encouragingly at Lauren, Angie is suddenly afraid. Lauren wants her to adopt the baby. Angie cannot endure this again, yet she loves Lauren and wants her to have a future. Despite everything telling her not to, Angie agrees.
At the restaurant, Angie is filled with “a tangle of hope and despair” (284). Deep down, she knows that Lauren will not be able to allow someone else to raise her child. No matter what happens, someone will be hurt, and Angie fears that she will lose Lauren, the baby, or both. Conlan arrives for their date and immediately senses her worry. At the inn where they will stay the night, he asks her to marry him again. Angie indicates that she wants to accept but needs to tell him something first. After she reveals the prospective adoption, there is a dullness to his voice. Angie insists that this is different: They love Lauren, and no matter what happens, she and Conlan will handle it together.
David and Lauren meet with his parents to tell them the adoption plan. Then, Mrs. Haynes sadly hands Lauren a check for $5,000 to help with college. When she asks if Lauren can do this, Lauren says that she must.
Angie and Conlan tell Lauren that they are getting married again, and they encourage her to see a counselor. At the lawyer’s office, after signing paperwork, everyone discusses the details of the adoption. Despite this, Angie knows that all that matters is how Lauren feels when she holds the baby. Eventually, they create a plan for communication after the birth. The lawyer advises against more than once or twice a year, and Lauren is heartbroken but agrees.
After Easter Mass, everyone converges on the playground for an egg hunt. While Lauren helps one of the children, Angie holds up her wedding ring, to everyone’s delight. Then, Maria asks if she and Conlan are leaving town. Angie says they aren’t but reveals the news about adopting Lauren’s baby, insisting that they can handle this. When Maria protests, Conlan shuts down the conversation.
On the day of the wedding, the DeSaria house is bustling. While setting the table, Lauren realizes that she will leave soon. She asks Angie if she wants a boy or a girl, noting that the counselor encouraged her to ask Angie questions. When Lauren worries that Angie will forget about her, they hug, and Angie says that will never happen. Outside, when Angie walks down the aisle, she hands her rose to Lauren.
Maria insists on teaching Angie and Lauren how to cook. Later, when she is alone, Lauren turns off the radio because it reminds her of her mother’s abandonment. Conlan, who was working upstairs, appears. Lauren has kept her distance from him since the wedding, but now she asks him questions about fatherhood and realizes she does not know what fathers do. Conlan senses this and takes her to the movies.
On her birthday, Lauren ponders her recurring dream of holding her mother’s hand. Last night, the mother was Angie. Lauren reflects that in cases of adoption, the birth mother is always left alone. Angie joins her, and Lauren asks about a nursery. When Angie insists that it is too early, Lauren senses her fear and promises not to hurt her. Switching topics, Angie tells Lauren that there will be a party for her later and then gives her a locket with a picture of them and a space for the baby’s picture. When Angie tells Lauren that she loves her, Lauren reciprocates.
By June, Angie fears that she cannot have both Lauren and the baby in her life. Conlan asks if she is prepared for the adoption to fall through. Angie insists that she is only focused on Lauren. A few weeks later, they accompany Lauren to David’s graduation. Throughout, Lauren is angry that David will go through life unscathed while she sacrifices so much. When David sees her afterward, his smile falters for an instant, but then he invites her to a beach party. She declines. Later, Lauren realizes that no one took a picture of them together and bursts into tears: After having the baby, she will have to leave and will not belong anywhere. Angie reassures her that they can create a family of their own. Although Lauren agrees, she knows that they must keep their distance.
One night, Angie, Lauren, and Conlan are playing cards when the DeSarias arrive with food and join in. Lauren goes into labor. At the hospital, Angie finds David, but he is afraid to leave the waiting room. Instead, Conlan joins Angie in the birthing room. Lauren has a boy, and Conlan cuts the umbilical cord. Then, as she turns away, Lauren asks Angie to tell the baby she loves him.
Waking to flowers and a visit from David and his mother, Lauren stops them from talking about the baby. She knows that her relationship with David will end and says nothing when Mrs. Haynes calls her brave. Once they are alone, David shares that he signed the adoption papers and tells Lauren that he loves her. She cries. Meanwhile, Angie and Conlan are convinced that Lauren has changed her mind. A nurse arrives with the baby, and Angie, sensing Conlan’s fear, reassures him that they will survive no matter what.
For an entire day, Lauren resists seeing her baby. When Angie insists that she hold him, Lauren rings the nurses’ bell. He has David’s eyes and her hair, and she feels that he is her family. She whispers “Johnny” and calls herself a mother, feeling a love deeper than she ever thought possible. That afternoon, David visits, and Lauren ends their relationship. Instead of fighting it, he cries. When she urges him to move on with his life, he gives her the title to his car. She refuses it but asks him to kiss her one last time.
Fearing that she has lost another child, Angie runs to Lauren’s empty room. Conlan holds her hand when they learn that Lauren has left with the baby. She wrote a letter to Angie, apologizing and expressing that she always wanted to be Angie’s daughter. When she finishes reading, Angie cries in Conlan’s arms. Then, they find David and his mother and give him a letter from Lauren, who has vanished.
Meanwhile, Lauren returns to her apartment building. She knocks on Mrs. Mauk’s door and asks to rent an apartment. There are none available, but Mrs. Mauk offers a spare bedroom for the night. When the baby cries, Lauren, too, dissolves into tears. Gently, Mrs. Mauk advises her not to run like her mother did, saying that Angie loves Lauren enough to forgive her.
Conlan is confident that Lauren will return because of Angie’s love. Later, Angie places a Winnie-the-Pooh lamp on a table, telling Lauren that it is waiting for her. Then, she walks outside, sees Lauren, and runs to her. Lauren’s eyes fill up as she talks of her broken promise. However, Angie insists that she knew how difficult this would be for Lauren and that they love her as a daughter. Then, she offers her a place to stay and a giant family to help look after the baby. Inside, Conlan envelops Lauren in a big hug. He says that it is about time, and Angie notes that their “girl” has returned.
At this point, Angie fully exemplifies the theme of Embracing Grief to Heal. When she retrieves the nursery items for Lauren, she “[can’t] believe how good she [feels].” In fact, she declares that “finally, she [is] free” (279) and that “she [feels] like an alcoholic who’d finally admitted to having a problem” (280). These admissions are equivalent to accepting and confronting her grief. By facing down the nursery items and the heartache associated with them, she can move forward despite the once overwhelming pain. This new resolve is tested when Lauren asks her to adopt the baby, but Angie remains prepared for all possible outcomes: All she can do is wait and “keep moving and live [her] life” (299). Angie’s practical mindset shows her increased strength.
Angie faces her final test of character when Lauren leaves the hospital with the baby. Though once again grieving the loss of a child, Angie now knows that the way to heal is through the pain. Looking at Conlan, she realizes that “sometimes your heart [gets] broken, but you just [hold] on. That [is] all there [is]” (331). She accepts the situation for what it is and focuses on her love for Conlan to help her through.
This character development, not a baby, is what allows Angie to succeed in The Quest for Maternal Fulfillment—a detail underscored by the plot itself, which forces her to confront her worst fears before granting her deepest desires. Ultimately, Angie processes past grief not only to prepare herself for the future but also to care for others. She is honest with Conlan and talks to him about his feelings, something she did not do in the past. She worries about Lauren, not herself, placing her child’s needs ahead of her own and doing her best to guide Lauren through challenging times. After attending David’s graduation, for instance, Lauren wonders if she would have been better off if she had been raised in a more loving home. Recognizing that she has struggled despite having familial support, Angie doles out advice: “Everyone makes mistakes honey. Growing up loved doesn’t shield you from that” (311). Angie’s wisdom not only soothes Lauren but also demonstrates Angie’s growth; she accepts her mistakes and turns them to good use. Angie’s status is cemented when Lauren returns with the baby to apologize. Angie thanks Lauren for “showing [her] how it feels to be a mother” and helping her understand “that [her] daughter was already too old for playgrounds” (339). Finally, Angie understands that it is the relationship, not any biological tie, that makes someone a mother. By calling Lauren her daughter and accepting her into her home, Angie has become the parent she always wanted to be.
The Transformative Power of Love fuels this change in Angie. The shift from focusing on herself to supporting others has helped her grow. As a result of letting Lauren into her life and caring more selflessly for Conlan, she is much stronger. When she and Conlan hold the baby for the first time, Conlan fears that they will lose another child, “and for once, she [is] the strong one,” telling him, “I’m steady. I’m here. And no matter what, we’re going to be okay” (325). Caring for others has not only shifted Angie’s focus but has provided her with the fortitude to endure hardships. Because of her love for Lauren, Angie not only survives Lauren’s pregnancy but enjoys it. When Lauren expresses shock that Angie knew Lauren would choose to raise the baby herself, Angie says, “It was you, Lauren. Don’t you know that? You’re part of our family. We love you” (338). Because Angie opens her heart to the teenager, even at the risk of experiencing more pain and heartache, she is transformed into a strong person and parent.



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