Women Who Love Too Much: When You Keep Wishing and Hoping He'll Change

Chapter 6 argues that men who partner with women who “love too much” are drawn to partners who promise to compensate for their personal deficiencies or life circumstances. Through six detailed case studies, Norwood demonstrates that these men typically seek women who provide safety, rescue, and emotional management during periods of crisis or dysfunction.

The chapter presents a recurring pattern in which men initially feel rescued and elevated by their partners’ devoted attention, particularly during times of addiction, emotional distress, or major life transitions. Tom’s addiction to alcohol was enabled by Elaine’s consistent covering and protection, while Charles found an escape from marital dissatisfaction through Helen’s intense devotion and sexual validation. Russell discovered in Monica a patient, nurturing presence as he was repeatedly imprisoned for various crimes, and Tyler was drawn to Nancy’s caretaking during his painful recovery from divorce.

Norwood’s analysis reveals a crucial paradox: These relationships often deteriorate when the man begins to recover or when external circumstances that created the initial crisis resolve. This pattern emerges clearly in multiple cases in which the man’s emotional healing, life stabilization, or recovery from addiction coincided with the breakdown of the relationship. In these cases, the woman’s capacity to love appeared to be contingent upon the man’s dysfunction or unavailability; the man’s allure diminished once he no longer required constant rescue.