Women Who Love Too Much: When You Keep Wishing and Hoping He'll Change

Chapter 9 presents the case study of Margo, a woman who married and divorced four times before the age of 35. Norwood uses Margo’s story to illustrate the progression of what she terms “relationship addiction” as a disease process. The author argues that women who love too much follow a predictable pattern of deterioration that parallels alcohol addiction in its stages and symptoms.

Margo’s first husband was unfaithful, her second husband sexually abused her daughter, her third husband was a drug dealer who married her to prevent her from testifying against him, and her fourth husband gave her inheritance to a religious commune before abandoning her. Each relationship followed a similar pattern: Margo entered the relationship hoping to rescue or change her partner, became increasingly obsessed with fixing him, and experienced progressive emotional and physical deterioration while denying the severity of her situation.

Norwood’s central thesis positions relationship addiction as a legitimate disease requiring specific treatment rather than simply poor relationship choices. She draws extensive parallels between alcohol addiction and loving too much, arguing that both conditions involve obsession, denial, repeated failed attempts at control, mood swings, irrational behavior, and progressive physical deterioration. This framework reflects the influence of the disease model of addiction that gained prominence in the 1980s, when Alcoholics Anonymous principles were being applied to various behavioral patterns beyond substance use.