Nicole's white adoptive parents adopt a premature Korean baby after years of infertility, bringing her home as their blessing from God.

A carpool classmate pulls his eyes into slits and tells Nicole she is so ugly her own birth parents did not want her.

Nicole discovers in high school that her birth mother once sought contact, but her adoptive mother threw the letter away.

Nicole goes to college and, surrounded by thousands of Asian students for the first time, begins taking pride in her Korean heritage.

After working at an adoption organization, Nicole requests nonidentifying information about her birth parents from a Seattle court.

Pregnant with her first child, Nicole enlists a search angel to locate and contact her birth family.

Nicole's search angel obtains her sealed adoption file, revealing she had sisters and was born two months premature with a grim prognosis.

Nicole learns her birth parents told people she had died at birth and then writes a letter to her birth mother.

Nicole receives emails from sisters Jessica and Cindy, who grew up believing she had died as a newborn.

Cindy's email reveals their birth mother physically abused her throughout childhood, shattering Nicole's idealized image of her birth family.

As Nicole times her labor contractions, she receives an email from her birth father asking for forgiveness.

Nicole gives birth to a healthy daughter named Abigail after 24 hours of labor.

Nicole receives a phone call from her birth mother, who apologizes for the adoption and claims her husband forced her to sign the papers.

Cindy flies from Portland to visit Nicole, and the two sisters instantly recognize their shared physical features in person.

Nicole meets her birth father face-to-face for the first time in Portland and discovers their deep shared love of writing.

Nicole is adopted as a premature Korean infant by a white Catholic couple in Oregon, who raise her as their own while downplaying her racial identity. Growing up the only Asian child in her community, Nicole experiences racism and isolation, and discovers in high school that her birth mother once sought contact but was shut out by her adoptive parents. As an adult working in adoption, Nicole begins searching for her birth family after becoming pregnant with her first child. She makes contact with her two sisters, learns her birth parents told people she had died, and uncovers a history of abuse and dysfunction that dismantles the myth of her loving, selfless birth parents. After giving birth to her daughter Abigail, Nicole enters into an emotional, complicated reunion with her birth mother and eventually meets her birth father face-to-face, discovering a deep shared love of writing that finally grounds her sense of identity.

Nicole's journey from closed adoption to reunion with her birth family.

Nicole's adoptive parents learn from a church friend about a premature Korean baby who needs a family and feel God is finally smiling on them.

Nicole's birth mother contacts the adoption lawyer to ask about her child; Nicole's parents send a brief reassuring message but refuse further contact.

Nicole writes childhood stories featuring exclusively smart white protagonists, reflecting how fully she has absorbed her predominantly white environment.

In high school, Nicole calls the lawyer who handled her adoption hoping for information, but the woman never calls back.

As an adult, Nicole meets with a prospective adoptive couple and glosses over the racism and difficulties she experienced as a transracial adoptee.

Nicole's sealed adoption file reveals that the name given to her before the adoption was Susan.

Nicole's adoptive mother warns her to remember who her real family is after Nicole reveals her plan to contact her birth family.

Cindy confronts her birth father about Nicole's existence, and he initially denies the adoption before finally admitting the truth.

Nicole and Cindy begin writing to each other almost every day after making contact, building an easy and honest sisterly friendship.

Cindy calls Nicole with news of a pregnancy, then days later learns it is an ectopic pregnancy requiring emergency surgery.

During Cindy's visit, the sisters look through old photo albums together and notice there are no photos of their birth mother.

Nicole's birth father explains he chose adoption to protect Nicole from the physical abuse Cindy suffered at their mother's hands.

Nicole's birth father mentions that his eldest brother possesses a 10-volume Korean family history spanning five centuries.

Nicole's birth father embraces her and invites her entire family to visit him when they say goodbye in Portland.

Nicole sends her birth father some of her essays, and he responds that she takes after him and that he is proud of her.

Nicole's adoptive parents come to adoption through faith, believing a premature Korean baby is a divine gift, while her birth mother's later attempt to make contact is quietly suppressed. As a child, Nicole channels her isolation into writing stories that reflect only the whiteness around her, and a failed attempt to reach the adoption lawyer in high school leaves her without answers. As an adult, Nicole conceals her true feelings about adoption when meeting a prospective adoptive couple, then navigates her adoptive mother's fears when she begins her search in earnest. The reunion unfolds through daily emails with Cindy, a frightening medical scare, and a visit filled with shared photographs and difficult family history. Nicole's relationship with her birth father deepens through a meaningful exchange of essays that confirms their bond as writers across the distance.

The supporting moments that shaped Nicole's identity and built her reunion.

Nicole's adoption is finalized as a fully closed adoption with no information exchanged, possibly without birth parents understanding what that meant.

A 10-year-old Nicole visits Seattle and for the first time feels inconspicuous, surrounded by large numbers of Asian people.

Nicole's Korean American college roommate refers to her as banana, forcing Nicole to confront how disconnected she is from her roots.

Nicole's sealed adoption file reveals her birth parents may have wanted a son and were ashamed to bring home a premature sick baby.

Nicole learns from the sealed adoption file that her birth parents divorced and eventually moved to separate states after the adoption.

Cindy feels deeply betrayed to discover that the sibling her parents claimed had died at birth has actually been alive all along.

Nicole sees her own facial features clearly reflected in newborn Abigail's face, even as visitors insist the baby resembles only her husband.

Nicole tells Cindy she wants them to be real sisters, and Cindy replies that Nicole is already there with her.

Nicole's birth father tells her she was given the Korean name Soo Jung before she was even born.

Nicole's birth father breaks down crying while describing the moment he first visited Nicole as a tiny infant in the neonatal intensive care unit.

Nicole's adoptive mother asks if Nicole thinks her adoption was a good thing, prompting Nicole to urge a more nuanced view.

Abigail begins asking Nicole detailed questions about her adoption at age four, and Nicole answers honestly without glossing over the difficulties.

Nicole writes her original Korean name in Hangul script during one of her first Korean language lessons.

Abigail discovers Nicole's Korean language workbook and begins her own journey of connecting to her heritage.

Nicole reflects that reuniting with her birth family has not changed her bond with her adoptive parents, who will always be her family.

From the moment her closed adoption is finalized under murky circumstances, Nicole's path is shaped by what she does and does not know about her origins. A childhood visit to Seattle cracks open her sense of racial identity, while a college roommate's single word forces her to confront how thoroughly she has been cut off from Korean culture. The sealed adoption file delivers a series of uncomfortable truths about her birth parents' motivations, and Cindy's sense of betrayal reveals how far the adoption's damage extended into the birth family. The first meeting with her birth father brings revelations about her Korean name, her literary inheritance, and the grief he has carried for decades. By the memoir's close, Nicole is actively reclaiming her heritage through language classes while raising her daughter Abigail to understand the full, complicated truth of their family history.

The discoveries and emotional shifts that transformed Nicole's understanding of herself.