48 pages • 1-hour read
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Content Warning: This section of the guide includes depictions of illness, death, graphic violence, physical abuse, child abuse, emotional abuse, and sexual content, and substance use.
The unnamed first-person narrator tells a story from her mother Michelle’s childhood. Michelle grew up with her mother, Ruby, her brothers, Joseph and Ralphie, and their abusive father. Michelle still has scars from altercations with her father and will sometimes speak about the day she and her brothers escaped him.
One day, Michelle’s dad attacked her so violently that her brothers thought he had killed her. Michelle got on the bus for school anyway. When the bus driver, Mrs. Palmer, saw her injured face, Michelle asked her if she could drop her and her brothers off at the next family’s stop so they could meet their mother. Mrs. Palmer took pity and let them out at the neighbors’. There, the children climbed into the car with Ruby, who was desperate to escape.
The family drove out of town. Ruby explained they were going to see her friend. They arrived at a hospital and snuck up the back steps to the kitchen, where a man named Dougie greeted Ruby. When he and her other friend Doris saw Ruby and Michelle’s battered faces, they knew her husband’s violence had worsened. They promised to help, but Ruby was afraid. Suddenly, her husband showed up looking for her. Doris yelled at him to leave, but told Ruby after he was gone that she wouldn’t be able to hide them for long, as he could easily enter the building again.
Back outside, Michelle sat in the car with her mother and brothers and waited for Ruby to make a decision about where to go next. Michelle studied the dashboard clock and realized her teachers would soon notice she and the boys were absent from school. Then the boys started whining about being hungry and needing to go to the bathroom. Ruby apologized that she couldn’t help them, clutching the wheel and trying to decide what to do.
In that moment, Michelle realized “that everything depended on her” (15). She told her mother and brothers the plan: They would drive to Albany and park in the lot behind the bus station. Michelle would get them something to eat, and they’d board the bus out of town, heading to the city where they could get work and be free and happy. As she talked, she removed Ruby’s hands from the steering wheel and took her place in the driver’s seat.
The narrator muses on how her mother tells the story now, trying to replicate it. The family drove to the bus station, but just as Ruby opened her door, her husband appeared and yanked her backward, pulling her away. She tried smiling at the children, who managed to get away on the bus and start over.
The narrator has known this story for a long time and feels as if it is a part of her, coming through all of her mother’s directives and worries. She guesses that she will pass it down to her children, too, understanding that many women have similar stories.
Eliza and Willie have been together for over 20 years. They live in a stone house near the river, which they spent a long time working on. When they first fell in love and moved to the property, they lived in an old trailer while they renovated the dilapidated stone cottage. Willie was younger than Eliza, and no one in town approved of their relationship—convinced she had ruined his chances at a better life. She had returned to town to care for her dying mother, and Willie devoted himself to supporting her during this time. Despite the town’s judgment, they stayed together.
In the years following, Willie got a teaching job, and Eliza got a job at the post office. Years passed. Willie is now in his early forties, and Eliza is in her early fifties. When she recently announced her retirement plans to Willie, he suggested they try adopting a child. Having decided long ago not to have children because of Willie’s traumatic childhood, Eliza was stunned.
Tonight, Eliza and Willie are hosting a retirement party with their friends in their yard. Willie hangs up lights in the tree while Eliza bakes pies. Eliza “had not wanted a party, but Willie insisted” (21). They show off their completed house and celebrate Eliza.
The friends arrive, and they all enjoy themselves, eating pie, drinking heavily, and telling stories. Feeling overwhelmed and despairing, Eliza steps aside to give herself some air. She is afraid of retirement, having never been good at resting. Standing in the dark vegetable garden, she hears grunts from the boathouse and assumes that Willie is having sex there with Mai, a younger friend. Eliza feels a strange sense of calm: She finally has confirmation that Willie is too good and too young for her. However, when the couple emerges, Eliza sees that it is a married friend named Ben by Mai’s side, and not Willie.
Eliza returns to the party, where she finds a pleasantly drunk Willie telling a ghost story. Eliza gives him a signal and heads upstairs to their room, where she gets in the shower. Willie joins her, and they try to have sex, but he can’t get an erection. Afterwards, Willie falls asleep, and Eliza stays up thinking about her life.
Tonight, she has felt that old darkness inside of herself again. She felt this years prior when she and Willie finally saved up for their honeymoon—a feeling of desolation and disappointment overcoming her.
Over the following days and weeks, Eliza struggles to orient herself to retirement. She feels useless and immobile, spending her days sitting at the table. Finally one night, Willie confronts her, insisting she must engage with life again.
Willie signs Eliza up for a series of classes, including Pilates, pottery, fiber-arts, and gardening. Eliza is frustrated and disillusioned at the start, but finds herself enjoying the classes over time. She particularly likes the gardening course as she has always had an affinity for plants. She is also intrigued by the instructor, a shaved-headed young woman named Bet.
Over the following weeks, Eliza invests herself in the gardening class. She and Bet also start flirting. Eliza doesn’t understand what she’s feeling, but finds herself daydreaming about Bet more and more often. Then one day, she is outside in the garden when Willie comes home and tries to confront her about pulling away from him of late. Eliza dismisses his concern, insisting she’s the happiest she’s been for some time. Privately, she wonders if he’s noticed how much she and Bet have been texting.
At the end of the class, the gardening students decide to have a party at their classmate Don’s house. They meet up at Eliza’s home first, where they run into Willie, who agrees to come. During the party, Eliza feels panicked when Willie holds her hand on one side, and Bet touches her opposite knee under the table.
Later, Eliza wanders off from the group and discovers Willie confronting Bet. He accuses her of having an affair with Eliza and warns her to back off. Bet scoffs, insisting that while she has flirted with Eliza, she has no interest in her: Middle-aged married women are too clingy for her liking and she is just having some fun. A devastated Eliza flees the scene.
Eliza and Willie return home, where Eliza races upstairs and lies naked on the bed, crying. She muses on her and Willie’s complicated history and remembers how much she loves him, realizing she cannot leave him because he needs her too much. She remembers the first time she saw him at a neighborhood gathering, and how violently his father had treated him. She understands that flirting with Bet was simply a way to remember feeling young, something she might never feel again. Willie joins her on the bed, and she wraps her arms around him until he falls asleep.
In the first two stories of the collection, “The Wind” and “Between the Shadow and the Soul,” the author explores the intersection of the past and the present, conveying how the individual’s former experiences or familial inheritances might dictate her sense of self for years to come and introducing the theme of Discovering Grace in a Violent World. In “The Wind,” this dynamic emerges via the first-person narrator’s relationship with her mother Michelle’s childhood trauma. The narrator was not born when her mother, grandmother, and uncles had to flee her abusive grandfather; however, the story lives inside the narrator because the story has lived inside her mother for so long. She is touched by her mother’s past and carries her pain.
In “Between the Shadow and the Soul,” Eliza similarly finds herself carrying her husband Willie’s pain years after he has outgrown childhood and left his childhood home. At the story’s end, she realizes that she cannot leave Willie because “Who would take care of him then” (49). Since their youthful love affair, Eliza has understood that Willie needs her. Eliza also relies on Willie, who devoted himself to her care when she was caring for her ailing mother. Each character in this short story carries the other’s pain, holding their past sorrow and guiding them through it for years to come.
“The Wind” nuances these explorations via the distinct narrative vantage point of offering Michelle’s daughter the narrative authority to tell Michelle’s story. While Michelle (and her two brothers) escaped their father’s violence—“each finding a kind of safe harbor, jobs and people and houses” (17) beyond their tumultuous childhood—the narrator has always noticed “a silent wind […] raging throughout [Michelle’s] life, touching every moment she lived” (17). The silent wind is a metaphor for the violence she experienced in her youth, which over the years has mutated into worried and anxious caretaking of her daughter, the narrator. Her mother carries her trauma inside of her heart and body, and also wears the literal scars of her father’s violence on her face.
In telling her mother’s story for her, the first-person narrator is showing her mother grace. The daughter arguably has had no choice but to inherit her mother’s violent history, saying the story “seeped into me through her blood, through every bit of food she made for me, through every night she waited, shaking with fear, for me to come home by curfew” (17), but she carries it with grace because she feels it is her duty as a woman. In retelling it, she is fighting against a history of silencing women, seeking grace and renewal for her mother and women like her by memorializing her story. While the narrative is largely located in the scenes of Michelle’s past, at the end, the narrator assumes a more assertive stance as she widens her examination of her mother’s story to a more universal story about female oppression.
In “Between the Shadow and the Soul,” the intersection between Eliza and Willie’s past and present lives, identities, and relationship develops the theme of Care as an Act of Love and an Emotional Burden. In the early sequences of the story, Eliza and Willie seem to have an idyllic marital life. They have “lived together for twenty-five years in the old stone house on a bend in the river” (19)—a setting which evokes fairy-tale-like settings where peace and happiness abound. The surrounding allusions to “the great gnarled apple tree” where Willie is “stringing up fairy lights” (20) or the image of Eliza taking pies out of the oven also evoke a pleasant, peaceful atmosphere with a mythic resonance that simultaneously forebodes violence or upheaval.
Over the course of the story, Eliza’s intensifying unhappiness points to her and Willie’s darker and more complex history. While they are undeniably bound to one another, Eliza has often felt a “pool of darkness” (27) welling inside of her. This metaphoric darkness echoes the metaphoric wind blowing inside of Michelle in the preceding story—a reverberation between the narratives which underscores the universality of women’s physical and emotional entrapment while creating cohesion from one story to the next. In “Between the Shadow and the Soul,” Eliza’s internal darkness can only be abated by hard work or close attention to some new project or interest. When she starts gardening and spending time with Bet, she rediscovers a younger, wilder part of herself that her relationship with Willie doesn’t allow. Although indelibly linked to her husband, her care for him rides the line between love and responsibility, and very much echoes the love of a mother.
In the story’s closing scene, Willie “put[s] his head under her chin and his breath was warm on her neck, and like this, she held him until he slept” (49). The image of naked Eliza hugging clothed Willie in this fetal position conjures notions of maternity. She is physically wrapped around him, shielding him, while her body is exposed and vulnerable. She loves him and is sacrificing herself for him.



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