Dare I Say It: Everything I Wish I'd Known About Menopause

Watts emphasizes that while menopause is a natural life transition, its symptoms can and should be managed in ways that improve quality of life. She challenges the notion that women must simply endure it, instead advocating for proactive, personalized approaches to symptom relief. Through her own experiences and expert insights, Watts presents a wide range of strategies, from hormone therapy and medical treatments to lifestyle adjustments and mental health practices. By providing readers with both scientific information and practical tools, she reinforces the idea that menopause is not something to endure passively but rather a stage that women can navigate with knowledge and control.

One of the primary strategies Watts discusses is hormone replacement therapy (HRT), a treatment that has been surrounded by controversy due to past misinformation about its risks. She recounts her initial hesitation toward HRT, shaped by media coverage that linked it to breast cancer, and explains how further research led her to a more balanced understanding of its benefits and risks. Citing experts such as Dr. Mary Claire Haver and Dr. Somi Javaid, Watts clarifies that HRT can be highly effective in treating hot flashes, vaginal dryness, cognitive fog, and other symptoms when used appropriately. She challenges the stigma surrounding hormone therapy, arguing, “I am just keen for women not to minimize their suffering or cut themselves off from any possible forms of relief because of misinformation” (78). This perspective encourages readers to make informed choices based on up-to-date medical knowledge rather than fear-based narratives.

Beyond medical treatments, Watts also explores holistic and lifestyle-based approaches to managing menopause. She highlights the importance of nutrition, citing research that links certain dietary choices—such as high-protein, high-fiber diets—to improved symptom management. She explains how visceral fat accumulation in menopause can increase health risks and advocates for strategies such as intermittent fasting and mindful eating to help women maintain metabolic health. In addition to diet, she emphasizes the role of exercise, particularly strength training, in maintaining muscle mass and overall well-being. She reframes exercise as a tool for empowerment rather than punishment, writing, “The women I like to exercise with are happy to be in the room. They are not only there for leaner limbs or muscled arms, but as much as to become strong, they are there for the celebration of life” (169). By presenting movement as a joyful and social experience, Watts encourages readers to find physical activities that are both sustainable and fulfilling.

Watts also acknowledges the role of mental health in menopause symptom management, advocating for cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and mindfulness techniques to address anxiety, depression, and sleep disturbances. She discusses her struggles with insomnia, dismissing the common yet unhelpful advice to simply “sleep more,” and instead offers concrete solutions such as tracking sleep patterns, adjusting nighttime routines, and seeking targeted medical interventions when necessary. She states, “The sleep-more-drink-more-water-exercise-more messaging can get infuriating. I know I should! I want to shout. But how?” (125), capturing the frustration many women feel when given vague or oversimplified health advice.

Importantly, Watts does not present a one-size-fits-all approach to menopause management. She acknowledges that every woman’s experience is different, and treatment choices should be tailored to individual needs. She also recognizes the systemic barriers to care, noting that “finding the right doctor is not easy, especially given the limits of insurance and scheduling” (194). By providing tools for medical advocacy—such as how to identify menopause-literate doctors and prepare for appointments—she equips readers with the confidence to seek the care they deserve. Through her thorough exploration of both the symptoms of and treatments for perimenopause and menopause, Watts offers a range of information that can be customized to fit a particular woman’s needs, highlighting the importance of knowledge and information in assuming control of one’s care.

Dare I Say It emphasizes the necessity of both community and expert guidance in navigating menopause. Watts argues that while menopause is a deeply personal experience, it should not be an isolating one. By fostering open conversations, seeking medical expertise, and building a network of support, women can move through this transition with greater confidence and clarity. Watts critiques the longstanding cultural silence around menopause and highlights how shared experiences and professional knowledge can provide both emotional validation and practical solutions.

One of Watts’s assertions is that secrecy around menopause is not only unnecessary but also harmful. She acknowledges how societal discomfort has conditioned women to keep their struggles private, but she challenges this norm by embracing openness, stating, “It’s exhausting holding secrets and such a waste of time” (31). By breaking this silence, women can alleviate feelings of shame, fear, and confusion, making menopause a more collective rather than solitary experience. Watts shares her turning point when she realized the value of building a broader network: “I knew that I needed support, and I saw the potential for forging a bigger community around this issue” (110). This recognition led to her advocacy efforts, including the founding of Stripes Beauty and her role in amplifying menopause-related discussions in public and professional spaces.

Watts also emphasizes the importance of medical guidance, recognizing that while peer support is invaluable, expert knowledge is essential for understanding and managing menopause effectively. She includes insights from doctors such as Dr. Mary Claire Haver and Dr. Jen Gunter, whose expertise helps demystify hormone therapy, mental health impacts, and other medical concerns. Watts acknowledges that many women struggle to find the right healthcare providers and emphasizes the need for persistence and self-advocacy. She encourages readers to seek out menopause-literate doctors, prepare for medical appointments, and push back against dismissive treatment. By combining personal experiences with expert-backed information, she ensures that Dare I Say It offers both relatability and scientific credibility.

Beyond professional guidance, Watts underscores the power of community in helping women navigate the emotional aspects of menopause. She highlights how women often find each other in moments of need, stating, “Maybe women find one another whenever there’s a point of need, when we crave a community to bolster us through new and difficult times” (202). This sentiment reinforces the idea that menopause, like other major life transitions, is easier to manage when surrounded by a supportive network. Whether through friendships, online communities, or advocacy groups, Watts encourages women to lean on one another rather than internalize their struggles.

Watts presents menopause not as an isolating experience but instead as an opportunity for collective empowerment. She advocates for a balance between medical expertise and personal connection, recognizing that both are essential in navigating this complex life stage. By encouraging women to seek guidance, share their experiences, and challenge outdated cultural norms, she ensures that menopause becomes a conversation rather than a silent struggle.