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The book is preceded by an epigraph: âThe past is never where you think you left itâ (0).
In 1998, Callie (Calliope), 14, is babysitting Trevor, 10. Trevor is the son of Linda and Buddy Waleski. Linda is a nurse, and Buddy is a sports bookie. As Callie bakes, Trevor taps on the glass of his fish tank. Even when Callie tells Trevor to stop, he continues. Trevor then joins Callie in the kitchen: âTrevor suddenly appeared behind her like a serial killer. He threw his arms around her, saying âI love youââ (1). Trevor goes to take a bath, while Callie makes herself an alcoholic drink and steels her nerves for the inevitable battle that comes with trying to put Trevor to bed.
Buddy comes home from work and sexually abuses Callie. When Trevor interrupts them, Buddy orders Trevor to drink some NyQuil and go to bed. Itâs revealed that Buddy, an adult, has been sexually abusing Callie, a child, for months. Buddy is depicted as a pedophile/rapist who is obsessed with how small Callie is; he calls her nicknames like âlittle bit and baby girl and dollâ (7). Further, Buddy has been videotaping his assaults and inviting his friends over to watch the videos. Earlier that day, Callie found a hidden camera.
Callie threatens to tell Linda and picks up the phone to call her. In response, Buddy punches Callie. Callie fights back, slashing Buddy with a knife on his upper thigh. She slashes his femoral artery. Callie watches Buddy bleed out. Instead of calling 911, she calls her sister, Leigh (Harleigh).
On a Sunday in spring 2021, Leigh is with her soon-to-be-ex-husband, Walter, at their 16-year-old daughter Maddyâs school play. The reason for Leighâs and Walterâs separation is described thus: âLeigh had finally accepted that she was the bad type of woman who couldnât stay with a good manâ (24). Walter is a legal counsel for the Atlanta Fire Fightersâ Union, while Leigh is a defense attorney. The narrative alludes to the COVID-19 pandemicâeach playbill comes with a mask and a reminder about handwashing.
During the show, Leigh gets a text message informing her that sheâs been assigned a new case: âStranger assault, not date rape, which isnât the norm. The client is up on some serious charges. He claims heâs innocentâha, haâ (29). Leigh notes that, even with these serious charges, the client likely wonât be held pending trial; because of the pandemic, judges are allowing people to avoid jail in favor of wearing ankle monitors. Leigh explains, âPrisons and jails were worse than nursing homesâ in terms of spreading the virus (30).
Leigh meets with Cole Bradley, one of the senior partners of the law firm where she works, who briefs her about her new client, Andrew Tenant. Bradley warns Leigh that Andrew wants to go to trial (by jury) and that he wants a not-guilty verdict. Andrew refuses to plead to a lesser charge because this could result in him being linked to other assaults in the area. Bradly and Leigh have the following exchange:
âApparently, a guilty admission on this particular reduced charge could lead to further exposure.â
[âŠ]
Leigh asked, âHow much exposure?â
âTwo, possibly three.â
Women, she thought. Two or three more women who had been raped (37).
Andrew fired his previous lawyer and asked specifically for Leigh. At first, Leigh isnât sure why. Then Leigh meets with Andrew and his mother, Linda, and realizes that Andrew is Trevor. Tenant is Lindaâs maiden name; Linda and Trevor both reverted to her maiden name after Buddyâs mysterious disappearance.
Andrew/Trevor casually asks what Callie is up to these days; Leigh lies and says Callie is living in Iowa on a dairy farm with her husband and children. In fact, Callie is in Atlanta, struggling with substance use disorder (which began after she had a cheerleading accident in high school and was prescribed painkillers). Leigh is horrified when she realizes who Andrew really is. She thinks back to the night 23 years prior: âCallieâs terrifying phone call. Leighâs frantic drive to reach her. The horrific scene in the kitchen. The familiar smell of the dank house, the cigars and Scotch and bloodâso much bloodâ (41).
Later, it will be revealed that Andrew/Trevor knows that Callie and Leigh killed Buddy and covered up his murder. The girls made it look like Buddy ran away, which was plausible because he owed a lot of people money. Trevor knows the truth because there was a camera hidden in the kitchen that filmed the entire incident. The Tenants recently listed their old house for sale; while cleaning it out, Andrew/Trevor found his fatherâs old tapes hidden in the crawlspace. Since then, Andrew/Trevor has been raping women and cutting them on the upper thigh, just as Callie cut Buddy. Andrew/Trevor has asked Leigh to be his lawyer because he wants to blackmail her into making sure he gets off the rape charges, even if it means she has to break the law or play dirty. Otherwise, he will release the tape of Callie and Leigh killing Buddy, and the tapes of Buddy raping Callie. Leigh doesnât yet know that Andrew/Trevor knows this or that he has the tapes (nor does the reader).
Later, in Interlude 3: âSummer 2005, Chicago,â it will also be revealed that Maddy is actually Callieâs daughter. She gave Maddy to Walter and Leigh right after giving birth to her.
The next day, Leigh reviews Andrew/Trevorâs case file. The woman Andrew/Trevor is accused of assaulting and raping is named Tammy Karlsen. Leigh wonders momentarily if Andrew/Trevor might be innocent: âLeigh wasnât one of those believers in bad blood or apples not falling far from the tree. [âŠ] People could transcend their circumstances. It was possible to break the cycle. Had Andrew Tenant broken the cycle?â (46). Itâs revealed that Leigh used to babysit Andrew/Trevor before Callie did; she has memories of him as a boy and has trouble thinking he could now be a violent rapist.
Leigh goes to a meeting with the private investigator who is helping on Andrew/Trevorâs case, Reggie Paltz. Also present are Andrew/Trevor and his fiancĂ©e, Sidney. Sidney is Andrew/Trevorâs alibi for the night of Tammyâs assault. Again, Andrew casually asks about Callie, and Leigh dodges his question. Sidney waits in the parking lot, while Reggie, Andrew/Trevor, and Leigh review the evidence, including a CCTV security video from the bar that shows Tammy and Andrew/Trevor meeting. The meeting seems innocent and flirtatious. However, the next morning, Tammy woke up stripped down and handcuffed to a park bench, without any memory of what had happened (sheâd been drugged)âbut with clear signs of physical and sexual assault. Tammy had a cut on her left thigh, a few inches south of the groinâclose to the femoral artery. The knife that made the cut hasnât been found.
Andrew/Trevor asserts his innocence, suggesting Tammy is lying: âThe sad part is, the MeToo movement really woke me up. I try hard to be an ally. We should believe women, but thisâitâs unconscionable. False allegations only hurt other womenâ (50). Andrew/Trevor further asserts that it would be ridiculous for him to try to hurt anyone, given how there are cameras everywhere these days: âIt defies logic that you could hurt someoneâanyoneâwithout a camera catching you in the actâ (72). He also uses this opportunity to hint at what he knows to Leigh: âItâs not like when we were kids. You could get away with cold-blooded murder back then. Couldnât you, Harleigh?â (73). Thanks to Andrew/Trevorâs hints about the video and the unique placement of the knife cut on Tammyâs thigh, Leigh realizes that Andrew/Trevor knows about Buddyâs murder.
Leigh leaves her meeting with Andrew/Trevor and Reggie in a panic. Sheâs trying to figure out what she and Callie missed on the night they killed Buddyâhow does Andrew/Trevor know? They ditched Buddyâs body, bloody clothes, and car. Leigh wanted to get rid of the knife, but Callie insisted that Linda would notice it was missing, so they washed it and returned it to the kitchen. While driving, Leigh recalls her own experience babysitting Trevor. She was 13, and Trevor was 5. On Leighâs first night, Buddy drove her back to her momâs house after her shiftâand sexually assaulted her. Leigh never told anybody, not even Callie. Leigh feels immense guilt that she allowed Callie to take over the babysitting job, and that Buddy then assaulted Callie (and videotaped the assaults and showed them to his friends). Leigh also feels guilty because she gave Callie COVID the previous year, and Callie almost died as a result. Leigh goes to find Callie.
The narrative flashes back to the night of Buddyâs murder, this time from Leighâs perspective. Leigh gets a phone call from Callie, telling her that she thinks she killed Buddy. Leigh goes to the Waleskisâ house to help Callie, feeling responsible for what has happened. When Leigh arrives at the house, Buddy is still alive. Leigh considers calling for help and using the videotapes to help Callieâthey could claim self-defense. However, Callie is embarrassed by the tapes, and Leigh realizes that âunless [the video] showed Callie screaming No the entire time, the cops, the lawyers, the judges, would all say that she had wanted it because, no matter what happened to women, men always, always covered each otherâs assesâ (98). Leigh wraps plastic wrap around Buddyâs head and suffocates him. Heâs too weak from blood loss to fight it. Leigh thinks, âShe was finally doing to a man the same fucking thing that men had been doing to Harleigh and Callie for their entire fucking livesâ (104).
The narrative returns to the present, spring of 2021. Itâs still Monday. Callie is at work, at a veterinary clinic run by a kind man named Dr. Jerry. Dr. Jerry always gives Callie a job, even though she often disappears for extended periods and is stealing medicine from the clinic. Later, Callie will learn that this is because Dr. Jerry had a son who died due to substance use disorder. Callie has been in recovery from addiction before but âg[ave] up on hope ages agoâ (107), resigning herself to addiction. She has even considered suicide in the past: âShe could get a front-row seat to Kurt Cobain and Amy Winehouse talking about a what a douche Jim Morrison could beâ (118). When Callie returns home after work, Leigh is waiting for her.
Leigh takes Callie to eat and tells Callie about Andrew/Trevor and the charges against him. Callie says, âSo, heâs like Buddy after allâ (129). Leigh tells Callie that Andrew/Trevor seems to know about their killing Buddy. Leigh still isnât sure what Andrew/Trevor is going to do or what he wants from her. Callie responds, âPeople donât make threats unless they want something. What does Andrew want?â Leigh realizes he wants her to break the law for him, perhaps by committing perjury, obstructing justice, or suborning a witnessâthings that, if discovered, would mean Leigh losing her license and possibly going to jail.
Leigh is worried that Andrew/Trevor will find Callie, since heâs been asking about her. To keep Callie safe, Leigh drops her and her cat off at their mother Philâs apartment. Phil has always been a neglectful and abusive mother. She allows Callie to stay with her on one condition, a condition that Leigh and Callie already know from childhood: âYou canât stay at my house unless youâre funding me, feeding me, or fucking meâ (145).
These early chapters introduce the bookâs unusual structure, with two timelines and two perspectives. The third-person limited omniscient narrator switches from Leighâs perspective to Callieâs while alternating between the past (1998) and present (2021). Itâs clear from the bookâs structure that the events of the past will affect the present. This is reiterated by the epigraph (a quote that precedes the narrative): âThe past is never where you think you left itâ (0). Immediately, the book introduces a central theme, The Futility of Trying to Escape the Past. Callie and Leigh believe that they got away with Buddyâs murder and that they have left it behind them. However, neither of them has emotionally moved on from it. The past comes back in a more tangible way when Andrew/Trevor returns and uses the videotapes to blackmail Leigh.
The videotapes themselves are a symbol of this theme. The tapes have literally captured the moment of the past, preserving it in time, so that the past can become âpresentâ any secondâall you have to do is pop a videotape into a VCR. Andrew/Trevor has even made back-up copies, which he stores at Reggieâs office on special laptops and servers. In this way, the past has become even more âpresent,â modernized for the digital age. The videotapes will continue to be a key issue throughout the narrative, reminding Leigh and Callie that they canât just leave the past behind them.
These early chapters also introduce another of the bookâs major themes, The Pervasive Nature of Misogyny and Violence Against Women. This is seen most obviously in the acts of violence committed against the bookâs female characters, from Leigh and Callie to Tammy Karlsen (and the other women Andrew/Trevor assaults). However, the book also criticizes the more commonplace and everyday misogyny seen in societyâthe complicit misogyny of other men who may not themselves physically harm a woman but who allow harm to come to women by doing nothing.
Buddyâs friends are the prime example of this complicity. Buddy didnât just record footage of himself raping Callie; he showed it to his friends, who consumed these videos of child abuse knowingly and willingly and never turned Buddy in to the police. Leigh flags this kind of complicity when she thinks about how the judicial system could use the tapes against her and Callie: âNo matter what happened to women, men always, always covered each otherâs assesâ (98).
Even minor male characters in the book exhibit subtle misogyny. For example, when Leigh speaks with Cole Bradley, one of the senior partners of the law firm where she works, he refers to the women Andrew/Trevor is accused of having raped as âexposure.â Leigh, the woman, must name what this word really meansâwomen. Humans. People. The fact that Bradley can so flippantly dehumanize rape survivors as âexposureâ speaks to the pervasive misogyny the book critiques. Whatâs more, misogynists may twist the tools used to expose them, like the MeToo movement, to their advantage. This is seen when Andrew/Trevor says, âThe sad part is, the MeToo movement really woke me up. I try hard to be an ally. We should believe women, but thisâitâs unconscionable. False allegations only hurt other womenâ (50).
These chapters also introduce the bond between Callie and Leigh. The girls are bonded as sisters. However, they seem even more tightly bound by their shared traumasâhaving an abusive and neglectful mother, being abused by Buddy, and committing murder, covering it up, and living with the guilt and secrecy. Throughout the novel, The Bonds Forged Through Shared Trauma will be a central theme, showing why these sisters are so loyal to one another and are willing to go so far to protect one another.
Finally, these chapters reveal the symbolic significance of animals. In the narrative, humansâmen, in particularâare the real âanimalsâ who canât be tamed. In contrast, the animal world is a safe space. Callie is especially drawn to animals, always rescuing strays. She even works for a veterinarian, Dr. Jerry, one of the few men in the novel who isnât a misogynist. Callieâs caring treatment of animals contrasts sharply with Andrew/Trevorâs. The first chapter shows Andrew/Trevor as a child, tapping on the glass of his fish tank, despite Callie having warned him that this scares the fish. This incident suggests that Andrew/Trevor lacks empathy, even as a child. The opposing ways that Callie and Andrew/Trevor treat animals reveals a fundamental difference in their characters: Callie is caring and empathetic; Andrew/Trevor terrorizes others without compunction and only cares about himself. Their treatment of animals also foreshadows their deaths: Andrew/Trevor will eventually be âput downâ like the animal he is, while Callie will sacrifice herself to save the people she loves.



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