Far From the Tree

Content Warning: This section of the guide contains discussion of addiction and pregnancy termination.

Gather initial thoughts and broad opinions about the book.

1. What resonated most deeply with you about Benway’s portrayal of sibling bonds forming between strangers? How does it compare to other family reunion narratives you’ve encountered, such as Hello Beautiful by Ana Napolitano?

2. Which of the three siblings did you find yourself most drawn to throughout the story? What specific moments or characteristics made that character’s journey particularly compelling for you?

3. Benway balances serious themes of foster care, teen pregnancy, and addiction with moments of hope and healing. Did you find the novel’s tone authentic to the experiences it portrays, or did certain resolutions feel too neat?

Encourage readers to connect the book’s themes and characters with their personal experiences.

1. How do Grace’s parallel experiences of giving Peach up for adoption while searching for her own birth mother reshape your understanding of maternal love? What contradictions in her emotions surprised you most?

2. Maya describes feeling like “the only dark brunette stain in every single family photo” despite her parents’ love (21). Have you ever felt like you didn’t quite fit somewhere you were supposed to belong? How did those experiences shape your sense of identity and your search for belonging?

3. What aspects of Joaquin’s self-sabotaging behavior did you recognize in yourself or people you know? How do you think childhood trauma affects our ability to accept love and support from others?

4. The novel reveals how family secrets can both protect and isolate family members. Which moments in the story made you reflect on secrets in your own life and whether they were necessary or harmful?

5. Both Grace and Maya find comfort in romantic relationships during their most difficult moments. How do their connections with Rafe and Claire help them process family trauma and discover what healthy relationships look like?

6. Consider how each sibling copes with stress differently through Maya’s sarcasm, Grace’s perfectionism, and Joaquin’s isolation. Which coping mechanism do you find yourself gravitating toward during challenging times?

Examine the book’s relevance to societal issues, historical events, or cultural themes.

1. What does Maya’s experience as the only brunette in a redheaded family reveal about the ongoing challenges adoptees face? How might society better support adoptive families in addressing identity and belonging issues that persist even in loving homes?

2. Through Joaquin’s story, what harsh realities about aging out of foster care does Benway expose? How does the novel challenge your understanding of the foster care system’s effectiveness in preparing young people for independence?

3. Grace’s experience with teen pregnancy contrasts sharply with Max’s consequences in the same situation. What cultural double standards does the novel highlight, and how do they reflect broader societal attitudes toward teenage sexuality and responsibility?

Dive into the book’s structure, characters, themes, and symbolism.

1. How does Benway’s recurring use of Alice in Wonderland imagery enhance each character’s sense of being overwhelmed? What connections do you see between Alice’s disorienting journey and the siblings’ search for belonging?

2. What symbolic weight do photographs carry throughout the story? How does the stark contrast between Maya’s abundance of family photos where she feels invisible and Joaquin’s complete absence of childhood pictures illuminate their different relationships with belonging?

3. How does the novel’s two-part structure of “Falling” and “Landing” mirror the emotional arc of all three protagonists? What does this progression suggest about the nature of healing and finding stability after trauma?

4. Ocean and sailing imagery appears consistently as Benway describes the characters as “untethered,” “rudderless,” and seeking to be “anchored.” How does this controlling metaphor evolve as the siblings form connections with each other?

5. Benway alternates between Grace, Maya, and Joaquin’s perspectives throughout the novel. How does this multi-narrator structure allow her to explore different facets of adoption and foster care that a single viewpoint couldn’t achieve? What unique insights does each character’s voice contribute to the overall narrative?

Encourage imaginative and creative connections to the book.

1. Design a memory box for each sibling to help them process their emotional journey. What three meaningful objects would you include for Grace, Maya, and Joaquin, and how would these items represent their growth throughout the story?

2. Write an epilogue set five years after the novel’s conclusion. What do you envision for each character’s future regarding their relationships, life paths, and ongoing connections with both their adoptive and biological families?

3. If you could create a support group for teenagers facing challenges similar to those experienced by Grace, Maya, and Joaquin, what specific activities or resources would you design? How would you help participants build meaningful connections while processing their unique experiences with family, identity, and belonging?

Need more conversation starters? Inspire your group with our Discussion Questions tool.