The chapter opens with an allegory about a boy at Nowheresville High who must surrender his imaginative powers of escape to become anchored in the real world.

Stefan was now experiencing puberty’s physical changes—acne, a growth spurt, and frequent illness from new germs. During a medical appointment, the doctor pointed out that he had not had a physical examination in over four years. Stefan convinced his mother to let him trade the typewriter and filing cabinet for a regular backpack. His brother Aaron now attended the separate Plano Senior High School, structured to maximize varsity football talent pools.

Stefan’s old elementary school friend, Clayton Howley, had moved nearby. He bestowed a new nickname on Stefan: QGHF, which stood for “Queer Gay Homo Fag” (167). To gain acceptance with Clayton’s popular friends, Stefan performed the role of a self-deprecating “court jester.” 

When Clayton snubbed him one morning, Stefan sat with the social outcasts: Burt, Chas Wohlfarth, and Erik Almond, one of the few Black students. Jackson Rogus, another outcast, confronted Stefan and kicked him repeatedly in the ribs. Stefan discovered that fighting back during such instances of bullying only worsened his situation. He hid his failing grades from his mother, but a quarterly report card exposed the truth. When Stefan blamed his struggles on poor test-taking skills, Debra angrily dismissed the complaint by comparing it to her own difficult childhood. To prevent her from withdrawing him from school, Stefan lied, saying that two girls had asked him to the Sadie Hawkins dance. His mother was thrilled, but Stefan felt the painful gap between her perception of him and his actual experience.

At school, Erik Almond threw a trash can in frustration and was led away by teachers, appearing relieved to escape a normal school day. The next morning, Clayton informed Stefan that Erik Almond had died by suicide using his father’s gun. Though the school made no official announcement, the news circulated. That evening, Stefan broke down sobbing at dinner. His mother called the school “toxic,” but Stefan persuaded her to let him finish the semester.

Stefan learned from Jackson Rogus and others that Plano was known as the “Suicide Capital of America.” At the library, he researched microfiche newspaper archives and discovered that in the early 1980s, eight high school students from Plano died by suicide within 18 months, drawing national media attention and giving the city its enduring nickname. Stefan felt this history was like a curse returning.

To improve his grades, Stefan began seeking out his teachers for extra help. In English literature class, he showed interest in books and cultivated mold samples for biology teacher Mrs. Watson. Through these efforts, his second-semester report card improved to average. He continued performing his nerd-mascot role for Clayton Howley’s friends and got invited to a party at Jennifer Fenwick’s house, where he felt out of place among the athletic boys. When Jennifer confided in Stefan about relationship troubles, Stefan awkwardly implied he cared about her feelings. Jennifer avoided him for the rest of the evening.

Stefan felt more comfortable in AOL chatrooms. He messaged every 14-year-old female Shepton student he could find, and developed a rapport with Lauren over reading. When they agreed to meet at the school flagpole, Lauren appeared disturbed by his acne-scarred appearance and never messaged him again.

Stefan chatted online with Julie, who revealed she was Julie Sloan and sat behind him in health class. They maintained a dual existence: barely speaking at school but chatting online for hours. Julie commented that she wished she could airbrush Stefan’s acne in real life.

Meanwhile, Debra reported frequent conversations with her deceased mother’s ghost, telling Stefan she needed spiritual connections because of her profound loneliness. She also started drinking regularly before dinner.

At school, Stefan connected with honor roll students, who shared his academic drive and complaints about overbearing parents. Katie Wong suggested he join LASER, a science and engineering club that would strengthen his college application. At a LASER meeting, he learned about the science fair and proposed a project in behavioral and social sciences. His psychologist father enthusiastically agreed to help.

Stefan suggested the topic of detecting deception in teenagers, and over the following weeks, his father largely wrote up the research and procedures. Stefan conducted the classroom study, showing videos of teenagers telling truths and lies while classmates noted behavioral cues. The project won first place at the district fair and the grand prize at regionals, earning Stefan a trip to the International Science and Engineering Fair in Louisville, Kentucky.

At the fair, surrounded by hundreds of academically gifted peers, Stefan experienced his first slow dance and felt he had finally found his people. However, his mother made a surprise appearance at his hotel and monopolized his time, taking him away from group activities with the other students. Stefan won an honorable mention, and at the after-party, he found his former dance partner slow-dancing with another boy.

As Stefan packed up, Mrs. Shepherd—his group’s chaperone and a teacher at his high school—commented on his overly protective mother. When Stefan broke down crying, Mrs. Shepherd told him he would have to break his mother’s heart to live his own life. He protested that the hard part was over, but she gently indicated otherwise.

The narrative jumps to the second semester of Stefan’s junior year at Plano Senior High School. He was now an overextended honor student, sleeping only four to five hours per night while juggling numerous extracurriculars to build his college application. One day, his mother brought Martin, her new 10-year-old homeschool student, into Stefan’s room to see him as a role model. She had been taking Martin to their old homeschool locations and promoting her educational philosophy, positioning him as a stand-in for Stefan.

Stefan observed his mother’s decline: She had aged noticeably, drank vodka daily, spent much time in bed due to back pain, and had developed a phobia of doctors. When he was too busy for her, she told him how she felt “rejected, neglected, and abused” (201). Stefan had formed a close bond with Mrs. Shepherd and confided his struggles to her during early-morning research class sessions. He felt torn between the story of maternal neglect he told Mrs. Shepherd and his love and guilt toward his mother.

Plano was experiencing a deadly heroin epidemic. A potent, snortable form called “chiva” had killed a dozen young people, with 19 total deaths expected within 18 months. National media descended on the city, and undercover police officers posed as students. Stefan reflected that Plano’s transient, affluent community lacked the deep connections that might protect vulnerable teenagers. The school continued its policy of making no official acknowledgment of student overdoses or suicides.

One morning, Stefan found a group of theater friends speaking with school counselor Sharon Koenig, who revealed that Oliver Wick, a shy theater student, had died by suicide. Stefan joined his grieving theater classmates, yearning for the genuine friendship and belonging they seemed to share. He reflected that while he had learned to perform social roles, he still could not form lasting, meaningful bonds.

A few weeks later, on Stefan’s 17th birthday, Principal Reade announced that Ms. Koenig had died suddenly. Students quickly deduced it was suicide, carried out the same way as Oliver’s. School was dismissed early. Driving home in his Ford Mustang, Stefan felt the weight of Mrs. Shephard’s warning about his power to hurt his mother. He recalled his own recent self-destructive acts: lying on train tracks and closing his eyes while speeding on the highway. Stefan drove recklessly into a thick construction dust cloud that obscured visibility. Inside the murk, he glimpsed a dark shape and felt a massive impact. Convinced he had killed a person, Stefan’s first thought was of his immense need for his mother and the feeling that he should never have left her.