I Kissed Dating Goodbye
I Kissed Dating Goodbye
Nonfiction | Book | Adult | Published in 1997
Book Brief
Beta221
Book • Nonfiction
•
Self-ImprovementUnited States, late 1990s
•
Relationships1997
Multnomah Books
Paperback • 2003
Adult
14-20 years
Super Short Summary
Joshua Harris argues that Christians should abandon conventional dating, which he portrays as harmful and distracting, and instead entrust their romantic lives to God. He advocates sexual abstinence before marriage, serious courtship directed toward marriage, meaningful friendships, spiritual growth, and purposeful singleness. The result is a faith-centered prescription for pursuing love through purity, patience, accountability, and commitment rather than casual romance.
Challenging
Inspirational
Contemplative
Informative
Reviews & Readership
22,425 ratings
Loved it
Mixed feelings
Not a fan
Review Roundup
Supportive reviewers praise the book as an honest, helpful challenge to casual relationships lacking commitment, valuing its emphasis on patience, singleness, and treating others with care. Some also argue that critics exaggerate its rigidity: Harris objects mainly to recreational dating and offers broad principles rather than a single courtship formula. Critics, including Harris himself, say its high standards became fear-inducing rules, promoted ideas without biblical grounding, and implied that following a particular method could guarantee marital and sexual happiness.
Who Should Read I Kissed Dating Goodbye?
This book is best suited to readers examining conservative Christian approaches to romance, especially its case against conventional dating and for courtship, purposeful singleness, and waiting until marriage for sex. It may also interest those studying evangelical purity culture and its influence. Approach it as a historically significant but disputed text rather than an unquestioned relationship manual: Harris later concluded that its ideas often caused harm, acknowledged that dating can support relational development, and asked the publisher to cease publication.
22,425 ratings
Loved it
Mixed feelings
Not a fan
The central divine authority in Harris’s argument, presented as defining love, guiding relationships, offering grace, and determining the timing of romance.
The model for selfless love and the redeemer whom the book presents as able to restore a person’s past.
A bride in the book’s opening dream whose wedding is disrupted when her groom’s former girlfriends accompany him to the altar.
Anna’s groom in the opening dream, accompanied at the altar by six former girlfriends to whom he says he gave parts of his heart.
One of Harris’s friends, used in an illustrative story about an immature teenage relationship with Ben and disregard for his boundaries.
One of Harris’s friends, whose relationship with Alyssa illustrates pressure, mismatched boundaries, and the harms Harris associates with immature dating.
An evangelist presented as an example of maintaining carefully established guidelines intended to protect personal integrity and purity throughout ministry.
221
Book • Nonfiction
•
Self-ImprovementUnited States, late 1990s
•
Relationships1997
Multnomah Books
Paperback • 2003
Adult
14-20 years
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