“I’m waiting for grief to strike me suddenly, sneak up on me, here, of all places, but it’s not happening. Not a tear. Not even sadness really, just bitterness.”

Mackenzie’s complicated relationship with her mother is at the heart of the novel’s mystery. Xander uses personification by attributing the human action of “sneaking up” to grief, which emphasizes Mackenzie's sense of anticipation and her lack of control over the emotions she expects to feel. This passage shows that she does not yet feel the grief she expects at Elizabeth’s death, emphasizing The Complex Nature of Grief and Trauma. It is ultimately revealed that the woman she believed was her mother was an impostor, perhaps explaining Mackenzie’s emotional distance.

“The thing with Ben is, he came from money but had zero merits. His only talent was his smile—dazzling, charming, cute or apologetic if needed. Whichever way it shined, it made people’s heads turn. It was his gift. That was about the only gift he had.”

This passage demonstrates that Ben’s distinct lack of talent and skill is obscured by his charisma, which has allowed him to form connections with all kinds of people. The novel shows that he pursued his future wife, Elizabeth, because he knew that her writing talents would make her successful later in life.

“My mom was 1) ‘a bitch,’ as per Dad’s side of the family. 2) ‘Complicated,’ as per my father. 3) ‘Brilliant genius,’ as per the literary world. 4) ‘Queen,’ as per her fans.”

This passage reflects the novel’s thematic interest in the fickle reality of literary fame. Although Elizabeth’s family knows her as a complicated, sometimes brash woman, she also has a public-facing persona as a brilliant writer with a thriving fan base. The tension between these two sides of her personality demonstrates her character’s complexity.

“Writing with a pen instead of a computer felt like a talent in itself. […] Occasionally, I used a quill, an old thing I got from an antique shop on Main Street. It came with a half-empty bottle of ink.”

This passage highlights that Elizabeth’s identity as a queen of thriller novels was a carefully constructed persona that began when she was in college. Her use of an antique quill and ink pot to write demonstrates that she tried to craft a persona of an old-fashioned, gothic writer that distinguished her from her peers.

“I wait for a second for the memories to hit me with grief—no, not happening. But it feels surreal, and instead of crying, I smile—this is where Mom did most of her work. This position lets me look at the office with her eyes.”

This passage demonstrates the complex nature of grief and trauma. Mackenzie expects grief to feel like sadness and emptiness. However, her grief often manifests as a desire to feel close to her mother and know more about her. In this passage, spending time in her mother’s office helps her deal with her grief.

“I didn’t go home right away, though I should’ve. I would’ve taken my revenge on her. I would’ve tortured her and made her beg for mercy and would’ve probably killed her in the end. At least, on paper.”

Elizabeth’s letters highlight that she found writing to be a therapeutic exercise that allowed her to work through the trauma of her past and present. In this passage, she suggests that writing about her experiences with Tonya might have prevented her from continuing to fight with her in person.

“When it gets dark outside, I light a candle by the window, turn off the lights, and decide to write by candlelight. Instead of my computer, I take an unused notebook from a drawer and a pen and sit down by the lit candle.”

At the beginning of the novel, Mackenzie is resentful of her mother, who she feels preferred her fame as an author to her role as a mother. In this passage, however, Mackenzie copies Elizabeth’s preferred writing method, choosing pen and paper over a computer. Mackenzie’s newfound appreciation for her mother is ironic, as it is later revealed that the woman she knows as her mother is Tonya, her birth mother’s nemesis.

“EJ turns to the computer. ‘You know there is no way to hide these days.’ His fingers start flying over the keyboard as he opens multiple browsers and doc files on the screen.”

This passage reflects EJ’s characterization as a hacker and computer genius. The reference to his fingers “flying” over a complex computer screen contrasts with Mackenzie and her mother’s low-tech preferences, such as writing by hand on paper.

“I turn my head to meet his eyes—not taunting or cheeky like they often are but understanding and comforting. I wish he would stop looking at me like that. I wish he joked and made fun of me, because then it’s easier to tell myself that I want to be just friends, like we have been for years.”

As the novel progresses, Mackenzie’s friendship with EJ transforms into a romantic relationship. The novel implies that Mackenzie’s reluctance to admit her feelings for EJ is related to her knowledge of the pain and trauma that romantic relationships caused her mother.

“The long term ones were the undesirables, you know. Those who didn’t get adopted, didn’t get picked up by foster parents or were sent back. The system is full of kids who can’t be placed.”

This passage reflects the novel’s exploration of the troubles of the American foster care system. Here, Dianne Jacobson emphasizes that adolescents and teens living in the foster care system can develop personality traits due to their experiences there that keep them from being adopted or succeeding once they age out of the system. Dianne’s reflections thematically contribute to Nature and Nurture in Personal Development.

“She got quieter. Angrier, maybe. She withdrew into herself. She didn’t want to have anything to do with that place. I don’t blame her.”

Dianne, the former housekeeper at Keller Foster Care, offers Mackenzie new insight into her mother’s past and personality. This passage underscores that the trauma of Elizabeth’s sexual assault had lasting effects that caused her to become withdrawn and abandon all remnants of her childhood. This further develops the theme of the complex nature of grief and trauma.

“I know, I know, it sounds shady, but hey, I’m not the only one who lives a double life. I support Lizzy morally and with the money my parents send me. She should be grateful.”

Part 2 of the novel takes place 21 years earlier and is told alternately from the perspectives of Ben and Tonya. In this passage, the use of the words “shady” and “hey” reflects Ben’s more casual tone, which characterizes him as less sophisticated than the other narrators: Mackenzie, Elizabeth, and Tonya.

“Tonya and I can manage. We love each other, and we don’t need whatever potential money Lizzy can make with her books. Tonya doesn’t understand that all these lies are not worth it.”

This passage shows that Ben fundamentally misunderstands Tonya’s motivation for kidnapping Elizabeth and taking over her life. He believes that Tonya is after her money, while Tonya believes that Elizabeth is exploiting their shared childhood and Tonya’s pain to boost her fame.

“I press my forehead to his shoulder for a moment and, knowing he can’t see my face, roll my eyes. He needs to feel manly and supportive? Works for me.”

Throughout the novel, Tonya manipulates the people around her, especially Ben, who initially believes that she is frail and in need of protection. This passage demonstrates that Tonya can identify her targets’ weaknesses—in this case, Ben’s desire to feel needed as “manly and supportive”—and exploit them to fulfill her own goals.

“If Lizzy follows through with her threats and takes the baby and moves away, Ben can say goodbye to the money she will potentially make with her books. And goodbye to me, because I don’t need him without Lizzy.”

Although Ben believes that he and Tonya are soulmates and are destined to be together, this passage reveals that Tonya is only using him to get revenge on Elizabeth. Tonya’s abuse of Ben’s feelings ultimately leads to his alcohol addiction, which affects his relationship with his daughter, Mackenzie.

“Now as I touch the things she owns, that she uses to write her haunting stories with, I can’t get enough. I want to be that person who sits here, who uses the old quill, even if for fun, who pulls out drawers and rearranges the stacks of old papers.”

This scene is the first moment when Tonya considers taking over Elizabeth’s life and identity. Ironically, Tonya’s desire to use Elizabeth’s desk and writing materials echoes an earlier scene where Mackenzie tries to connect with her mother by sitting at her desk.

“Lizzy is not Lizzy but an empty shell of a human. I’m not a doctor, and I don’t know how to put this in words, but it’s not just depression or tiredness. I think something glitched in her brain that night she bled for hours.”

Despite his early willingness to hurt Elizabeth through his infidelity, Ben does still retain some affection for her, especially after she has Mackenzie. This passage demonstrates that he is more concerned about her mental and physical well-being than he is willing to admit to Tonya.

“Her glare at me is far from friendly. So much for diplomacy since her cash cow, E.V. Renge, slipped and fell. Laima marches toward the door, her high heels viciously clicking against the parquet floor.”

Throughout the novel, Xander presents professionals in the publishing industry, such as literary agent Laima Roth, as selfish and money hungry, evident in describing E. V. Renge as “[Laima’s] cash cow.” This passage emphasizes that, despite decades of working together, Laima is unconcerned with the well-being of her most important author and her family. This further develops the theme of the fickle reality of literary fame.

“It’s another event. Remember, everything that has to do with E.V. Renge is an event, right? Publicity, hence, money and ratings.”

Throughout the novel, Mackenzie expresses contempt for the carefully constructed circus accompanying all aspects of her mother’s life. This passage shows that Elizabeth’s literary agents are organizing tributes for purely capitalistic reasons, hoping to make more money off the drama of her death. This continues to show the fickle reality of literary fame.

“Somehow, despite the trip to Old Bow being at the top of my list, this dinner with EJ is already becoming something I’m looking forward to. Even if everything else in my life fails, I still have EJ.”

Throughout the novel, EJ transitions from Mackenzie’s best friend to her boyfriend. This passage shows that Mackenzie sees EJ as a replacement for her lack of a true family. As she realizes that the people who she believed were her parents are not, her relationship with EJ becomes even more important.

“We ride through the forest when a giant sign with a fish on it catches my attention. I laugh quietly. ‘That’s some weird-looking fish,’ I say from the back seat.”

In the final section of the novel, the author builds tension through dramatic irony as the reader, who knows that Elizabeth is alive at the lakeside cabin, waits for Mackenzie to uncover the truth. In this passage, Mackenzie passes the giant garfish sign that marks the turnoff to the lakeside cabin. The fact that Mackenzie is so close to her birth mother without knowing it adds tension to the final chapters and furthers the garfish’s symbolic role in the narrative.

“I don’t have a mother—the thought strikes me. It feels so heartbreaking all of a sudden that I have to clench my jaw to stop the tears from coming.”

When Mackenzie finally loses hope of finding her biological mother, she is hit with a wave of grief; the reference to clenching her jaw to prevent tears shows that the grief is deep in her body. The fact that Mackenzie only truly feels grief when she feels that she has failed to find her birth mother indicates that her investigation was a product of her desire to outrun her grief. This displays the complex nature of grief and trauma.

“The weather affects her. She doesn’t speak much. She says words. She writes. Writes a lot of beautiful stuff that doesn’t make much sense. She doesn’t connect well with most people.”

Even though Mackenzie was separated from her biological mother shortly after birth, they immediately recognize each other when they are reunited decades later. Like Elizabeth, Mackenzie is emotionally affected by the weather and doesn’t connect well with most people in her life. The similarities between the two women demonstrate that their genetic similarities outweigh the circumstances of Mackenzie’s childhood and adolescence, conveying the roles of nature and nurture in personal development.