Matriarch: A Memoir

Knowles recounts her experience being pregnant for the first time. She and Mathew were living in Houston’s Third Ward neighborhood. She gave birth to Beyoncé Giselle Knowles on September 4th. Although in love with Beyoncé, Knowles had postpartum depression. Beyoncé was a difficult baby and Knowles felt incapable of caring for her. Wishing she could ask for Agnes’s help, her grief over her mother’s passing resurged. Finally one night, she calmed Beyoncé by singing her “Here I Go Again.” She felt better afterwards, and swore she’d be a good mother.

Knowles and Mathew soon learned that Beyoncé loved jazz. It was one of the best ways to calm her when she was upset. Shortly before Beyoncé’s first birthday, Lumis fell ill. Knowles was almost constantly at his bedside, but wasn’t there when he died. At Lumis’s funeral, Knowles realized how special her father was.

Knowles reflects on her first years as a mother. When Beyoncé was three, Knowles started attending Franklin Beauty School. However, she dropped out when she discovered how much trouble Beyoncé was having at daycare. Not long later, Knowles’s friend Cheryl came over with her infant, Coline, and had Knowles do her hair.