“One time when we were at the Bayview Mall food court, Dad went to the bathroom and came back to see an older couple surreptitiously checking out my dark-haired, olive-skinned mother and her three paled, redheaded kids. Dad plopped down next to Mom and put an arm around her shoulders, flashing a grin at the couple. ‘See, now we make sense,’ he said.”

Phoebe’s memories of her father demonstrate the levels of grief she continues to experience after his death. She feels a hole has been created by his loss, and their family doesn’t make sense without his presence, which is only amplified by the fact that Phoebe, Emma, and Owen all inherited his bright red hair.

“We’ve all been model citizens since then, at least when it comes to online gossip. Nobody can imagine getting through a school day—never mind years—without their phones.”

The prioritizing of phones over the well-being of the individual students, and the student body, is prevalent throughout the novel. Phoebe chooses to sacrifice herself and to go through further bullying so that everyone can keep their phones. This quote alludes to the addictive nature of social media and the power the students have given Unknown by their reliance on social media.

“Simon never bothered featuring Phoebe on About That, because she’s an open book. She hooks up a lot, but she doesn’t cheat on people or break them up. And she’s one of those girls who flits easily between Bayview High social groups, like the invisible boundaries that keep most of us apart don’t apply to her. I’m pretty sure there’s nothing anyone could say about Phoebe that we don’t already know.”

These are Knox’s thoughts about Phoebe which, due to the change in narration, one understands is not true. Knox presents Phoebe in a flattering light, yet also exposes how other people may present a perfect character but are truly suffering on the inside. The change in perspectives shows how Knox views Phoebe but also how Phoebe views herself. This quote enforces the idea that social groups serve as hierarchical boundaries that one does not dare to cross.

“Most of the time I’m grateful for the easy camaraderie of the drama club group, because they keep me company even when Knox isn’t around. Other times I wonder what school, and life, would be like if I made more of an effort. If I ever actively chose somebody instead of just letting myself get pulled into whatever orbit will have me.”

Maeve begins to realize the importance of adding a sense of direction to her life. While she does not have to have everything figured out, she reflects that there are moments where definitive action is required. Since Maeve has not actively pursued any friendships, she suffers the from feeling unfulfilled and misunderstood by the friends she does have.

“Because I wanted to hurt you. Not consciously, but…sometimes I wonder if I’m edging towards an uncomfortable truth with this one. I’ve been trying to get Emma’s attention ever since Dad died, but most of the time she just looks right through me. Maybe some twisted corner of my brain wanted to force her to notice me.”

The bond between sisters is an important trope in the novel, specifically the relationship between Phoebe and her older sister Emma. Their relationship has suffered greatly with their father’s passing, and Phoebe admits that she has been desperate for her sister’s attention ever since. Believing it impossible to gain Emma’s attention, and most importantly, her love, Phoebe lashes out and deliberately hurts Emma. The revelation of Phoebe’s hurtful act forces the sisters to confront both their relationship and their father’s death.

“Unlike Emma, I’ve had a lot of boyfriends. And while I haven’t slept with all of them, I did whenever it felt right. Sex always felt like a positive part of my life until last December, when I slipped into Jules’s laundry room with Derek. Then I ran straight from him to Brandon, despite all the gigantic red flags that should’ve warned me away. Maybe after I screwed up so badly with Derek, I didn’t think I deserved any better.”

Phoebe’s sexual activity provides a positive look at sex, instead of one of shame, until she must deal with rumors and bullying about her relationships. She is shamed by the school for sleeping with Emma’s ex-boyfriend, Derek. Jules and Monica laugh at her when they think she is on a date with Knox, who has been shamed for his sexual inactivity. Brandon assaults her, wherein she fully realizes the double standards to which women are upheld. Phoebe liberates herself sexually throughout the novel, and in the above passage the reader sees her first step toward such liberation. Phoebe understands that her self-worth is not defined by her boyfriends or what others think of her.

“It’s weird and kind of uncomfortable, to realize you might’ve started outgrowing a thing that used to almost be your whole life. Especially if you’re not sure what else to do with yourself. It’s not like I’m tearing it up at school, or work.”

Knox begins to acknowledge his own growth and development, even though it makes him feel strange. He matures and outgrows his once passionate desire to pursue theatre. As such, his sense of identity falters and he is forced to find a new activity that better represents his coming into adulthood.

“It’s like everyone at Bayview High has forgotten that Simon was a real person who ended up suffering more than anyone from the way he used gossip as a weapon. But all you have to do is look at Phoebe’s sad eyes and hollow cheeks to know there’s nothing funny about any of this.”

The lessons of the past and Simon’s About That gossip page are quickly forgotten by the Bayview High students, leading to history repeating itself. The students body’s susceptibility to gossip is fully displayed, but Maeve, in an act of empathy, understands that gossip bears real effects.

“I’m still angry, though, and use that adrenaline to wrench out of his grasp. ‘Really? Let me see if I have this straight. If I do what you want, I’m a slut. If I don’t do what you want, I’m a tease. What I want doesn’t count, but you’re the big man at Bayview no matter what. Does that about sum it up?’”

Phoebe stands up to Brandon by exposing the unfair double standard that she, and other women, are subjected to. She refuses to settle for less and to continuously punish herself with Brandon for one mistake. Phoebe gains confidence and a new sense of self wherein she solidifies her own unique identity.

“Maeve’s been kind of lost since Bronwyn graduated, and Phoebe could use somebody on her side. Slut-shamey crap about her is still flying around school, and her friend Jules eats lunch with Monica Hill’s clique now. I guess Jules found her own silver lining: social climbing via Truth or Dare success.”

Jules utilizes the Truth or Dare game, which exposes and humiliates people, including her best friend Phoebe, to gain popularity and status. Jules lacks empathy and easily leaves Phoebe when she befriends Monica and dates Sean, two of the most popular people at Bayview High. Monica’s motivations of not just desiring popularity at all costs, but also of basing one’s self-worth on the opinions of others, demonstrate how vapid some of the students can be and the levels of toxicity that the school suffers from.

“‘Knox and I aren’t really the kind of friends who go to each other’s houses,’ I tell him.”

The definition of what constitutes a friendship is debated throughout the novel. Phoebe defines her friendship with Knox in a way that prevents further intimacy between the two. Both Phoebe and Knox are too afraid to potentially overstep and be rejected by the other.

“I was thinking about this stupid game all last night, and how it has everybody dancing like puppets on a string. Whoever’s behind Truth or Dare is on a massive power trip. And the thing is, we’re giving them that power. By caring. Reacting. Spending all our time worrying about who’s next and what’s true. We’re feeding the beast and I, for one, am done. I blocked Unknown last night, and I think you should too. Back away from the revenge forum. Stop handing those anonymous weirdos the attention they want so much. If everyone ignored them, they’d stop.”

Phoebe is the first protagonist to understand the true source of the Truth or Dare game’s power: the students who pay attention to them. She relays this advice to Maeve to discourage her from cyber stalking and giving up time in her life on a game that isn’t worth her energy. In fact, Maeve’s increased attention toward the game enables it to have more power over her.

“Phoebe was right: whoever it is isn’t worth all the time and attention I’ve been giving them. I need to focus my energy on fixing this mess with Knox. I mean, I have a measly five people in my Key Contacts, and he’s the only one who’s not related to me or getting paid to keep me from dying. I can’t let this ruin our friendship.”

The theme of friendship and the corrupting effects of the Truth or Dare game are shown in Maeve’s realization. In this passage, a turning point occurs for Maeve as she too understands that Unknown’s power comes from her own interest in their actions. She demonstrates her understanding for the true friends and loved ones in her life easily separates the unknown texter from these key people.

“It’s bullshit that I’m getting shamed for having sex, and Knox is getting shamed for not having it.”

Gender stereotypes and societal expectations are examined in the novel, particularly through both Phoebe and Knox’s sex lives. Phoebe understands that, not only is it not fair for her to be shamed for having sex, but it is unfair for Knox to be shamed for the opposite. She sees that, typically, women are supposed to maintain a sense of purity, whereas men are expected to be sexually active and confident. She bonds with Knox over this realization and the two begin their friendship.

“People like to think they’re open-minded, but if you toss a tired gender stereotype in their path they’ll run with it every time. I don’t understand why the world insists on stuffing kids into boxes we never asked for, and then gets mad when we won’t stay there.”

As the three protagonists experience coming-of-age situations, their sexualities and genders become the topic of gossip for their classmates. Under the scrutiny of their peers, Maeve, Phoebe, and Knox understand that they do not have to be confined to how others, society, or even their own family define them. Phoebe also realizes that acting outside of the norm may be met with resentment, but that such a reaction should not stop her.

“Instead, I rest my head on the steering wheel and let myself cry for a good fifteen minutes about losing a friend I’ve had since elementary school. It’s just one more thing in a long line of casualties from the Truth or Dare game, but still. It sucks.”

Phoebe grieves the loss of her friend Jules, who she has been close with since elementary school. She describes Jules as a ‘casualty’, portraying the game as capable of ending such an intimate relationship. This quote highlights the idea that gossip and secrets only have as much power as they’re given. In addition, using the game for personal gain will result in casualties, from lost friendships and even to death.

“I wonder, fleetingly, if Phoebe might go with me. As friends, obviously, because she’s so far out of my league that I’d have to be delusional to expect anything else. But I think we’d have fun.”

Knox begins to entertain the idea of Phoebe as more than just a friend. He still does not allow himself to envision a romantic relationship with her, because he both believes that Phoebe will reject him and that he is not attractive enough for her. He even places them in different leagues, wherein Phoebe is of a higher league that Knox does not occupy.

“Nate is quiet for a few seconds. ‘Okay,’ he says finally. ‘I get that. But this is your life, Maeve. You have to try. Don’t you think?’ I’m so unbelievably tired.”

Nate discovers Maeve suffering from a nosebleed and he responds with quiet astonishment to the news that she’s been keeping her leukemia symptoms a secret. Maeve is controlled by her fear of relapsing and being the source of her family’s grief. Nate comforts her and serves as one of the inspirations for Maeve’s healing process, where she grapples with the potentiality of a relapse as well as her newfound sense of self. Maeve learns that she must take her life into her own hands and stop letting others control her decisions.

“I was okay with the fact that holding a grudge might lose me a friend. But that was when the loss wasn’t a tangible, permanent thing. Now, I can’t stop thinking about how rare it is to have someone you can be completely real with, even when things get raw and uncomfortable and a little scary. Especially then.”

Knox understands the importance of his friendship with Maeve, even though he has directed his misplaced anger toward her. He relays the important traits of a friend, such as being vulnerable with someone. Being real becomes synonymous with being truthful, and the power of truth in the face of fear comes to the forefront. This ideal friend is a stark contrast to Phoebe’s friend Jules and others in the narrative who act friendly but have ulterior motives.

“Eli shrugs. ‘Takes a while for some of us. Good thing life is long and high school is short, although it doesn’t feel like it at the time.’”

Eli reminds Knox that high school will pass, even if it doesn’t feel like it will in his current situation. He reminds Knox that his popularity status or social group also does not define him for life. Knox takes refuge in the fact that Eli didn’t go on a real date until he was 19 but is engaged to be married and is a successful up-and-coming lawyer. He begins to feel hope for his life after graduation.

“I pop the top of my soda and take a gulp, watching him over the rim as something inside me deflates. Your dad really knows his stuff, Nate said tonight. It’s true, but Dad never shares any of that with me. All I get are these pointed little comments. I usually ignore them, but tonight I’m not in the mood.”

Knox’s low self-confidence stems primarily from his relationship with his father. His dad is described as a masculine character who struggles to understand why his son is interested in things that he considers unmanly such as theater groups and office jobs. Knox feels that their strained relationship is why his dad has never asked him to work for the family’s construction company, something Knox greatly resents. Knox finally stands up to his father and uses anger and aggression, but he fails to reconcile with him in this interaction, furthering the tension between the two.

“For most of my life, I’ve gotten a free pass for the things I do wrong. Hardly anyone gives me a hard time or holds a grudge. Even Knox came around once leukemia reared its ugly head again. It’s not a crutch I ever asked for, but I’ve been leaning on it anyway.”

Maeve’s character grows greatly throughout the novel, and she finally learns the benefits of positivity and forward thinking. She decides to take her life in her own hands and in doing so, realizes how beautiful life can truly be.

“Except for the part where it makes as much sense as anything else that’s happened over the past few weeks. If it weren’t for Brandon’s carelessness, Phoebe’s father would still be alive, and her whole life would be different. What does knowing something like that do to a person?”

Knox reflects on the suffering Phoebe must have endured after losing her father and finding out that his death could have been avoided. Her grief and loss showcase themselves as pivotal moments of change and transformation, even for the characters in her life who do not directly feel her loss the way she does.