Rachel's Holiday (walsh Family, #2)

Rachel's Holiday is a novel by Marian Keyes about Rachel Walsh, one of several sisters in the Walsh family of Dublin.

Rachel, a 27-year-old Irish woman living in New York, insists her cocaine use is purely recreational. One evening, after underestimating the strength of cocaine she takes, she cannot sleep and swallows escalating doses of sleeping pills. Her roommate, Brigit, cannot wake her the next morning and discovers an incoherent piece of writing she interprets as a suicide note. Brigit calls an ambulance, and Rachel's stomach is pumped. Brigit then calls Rachel's parents in Dublin, telling them Rachel has a serious drug problem.

Rachel's father, Jack, phones and tells her she has been fired after he spoke with her boss. Her older sister Margaret arrives from Chicago to take Rachel home. Rachel's boyfriend, Luke Costello, breaks things off, telling her she is not the person he thought she was. Devastated and jobless, Rachel agrees to enter the Cloisters, a famous rehabilitation center in County Wicklow, privately hoping it will be a luxury spa where she can recover from heartbreak.

Rachel arrives at the Cloisters, a gray Gothic house surrounded by high walls, and is assessed by the eccentric psychiatrist Dr. Billings. She is admitted and signs a contract requiring a minimum three-week stay. She meets the other inmates, mostly middle-aged male alcoholics, and her roommate, Chaquie, who insists her husband put her there unfairly. The institution bears no resemblance to a health spa: The inmates do their own housework, the food is institutional, and there is no gym, pool, or massage. When Rachel tries to leave, Dr. Billings cites her legal contract and threatens an injunction.

Interspersed with Rachel's time at the Cloisters are flashbacks to her life in New York. These reveal how she and Brigit used to mock Luke and his friends, calling them the "Real Men" for their anachronistic long hair and tight denim. At a party, Rachel and Luke bond unexpectedly, and despite considering him unfashionable, Rachel is overwhelmed by attraction. They leave together, but the next morning, mortified, she writes down her phone number for Luke, crumples it up, and throws it in the trash. When he retrieves it and calls, she declines his invitation.

At the Cloisters, Rachel attends group therapy led by Josephine, a nun whose gentle appearance belies her incisive questioning. Rachel develops a crush on Chris, a fellow drug addict, and befriends Neil, a new inmate who insists he is only there to appease his wife. When Neil's wife visits as his Involved Significant Other (ISO) to testify about his behavior, she reveals that Neil physically abused her and their children. Neil had told Rachel he drank only four pints a week; he eventually admits to a bottle of vodka daily plus cocaine. Rachel gains her first real understanding of denial: Neil genuinely cannot recognize his own behavior.

Flashbacks trace Rachel and Luke's relationship. After initially rejecting him, Rachel encounters Luke again weeks later. An intensely charged encounter follows, and they begin dating. Luke proves funny, thoughtful, and romantic, but Rachel remains ambivalent, worried he is not trendy enough. Brigit tells Rachel she is clearly in love with Luke, but Rachel refuses to admit it. She continues to use drugs, hiding the extent from Luke.

At the Cloisters, Josephine turns her attention to Rachel's childhood. Rachel reveals a deep-seated belief that her jealousy of her baby sister Anna caused her mother's distress and her father's departure for Manchester, making everything her fault. Josephine suggests Rachel's mother was grieving her own father's recent death and that Jack simply went on a business trip. When Rachel's parents visit as ISOs, her father confirms these facts, but both parents struggle to name any of Rachel's good points, instead praising her sisters' achievements. Josephine observes that Rachel's family assigned her the role of the "no-hoper," fueling the low self-esteem that drives her addiction.

The central crisis arrives when both Luke and Brigit fly from New York to serve as Rachel's ISOs. Brigit describes Rachel's drug use as far worse than admitted: taking drugs alone, stealing money and drugs, lying constantly, and being impossible to live with. Luke's testimony details Rachel's stealing cocaine from his friend Joey, her compulsive flirting when high, and her shame at being seen with Luke in public. When Josephine asks if he loved Rachel, Luke says no, then clarifies he would have loved the version of her who was not always intoxicated, but that it is too late.

Josephine confronts Rachel's selfishness and dishonesty, telling her these traits stem from low self-esteem. Rachel's denial crumbles over the following weeks. At a Narcotics Anonymous (NA) meeting, a speaker named Nola describes how heroin addiction consumed her life, and Rachel recognizes her own preoccupation with obtaining and hiding drugs. Josephine forces Rachel to look at the incoherent note she wrote the night of her overdose, and the childlike scrawl shocks her. Rachel finally admits she is an addict. The admission brings no relief, only horror, rage, and grief. Acceptance arrives gradually, and on her last day, Josephine privately reveals that she herself is a recovering addict and alcoholic.

Rachel leaves the Cloisters after two months feeling optimistic but quickly grows bored and depressed at her parents' home. She meets Chris at Club Mexxx, the restaurant where her youngest sister, Helen, works. They have sex, which is a miserable failure. The next morning, Rachel's mother reveals that Chris is married with three children. Shattered, Rachel steals money from her mother's purse, buys cocaine and sedatives, and spends the day drinking and using drugs. She is knocked down by a car and ends up in hospital.

In hospital, Rachel's sisters Helen and Anna help her see that their mother says similarly harsh things to all her daughters. Rachel reconciles with her mother and calls Nola, who becomes her sponsor and takes her to NA meetings daily. Over the following months, Rachel rebuilds her life: attending meetings, undergoing psychotherapy, working as a hotel chambermaid, and applying to study psychology. Nola discourages romantic relationships for a year, and Rachel gradually develops the self-respect she has always lacked.

Around Christmas, Rachel realizes she is no longer angry at Luke or Brigit. Brigit visits on New Year's Day, and both women make peace. Brigit apologizes for unconsciously enjoying being the more stable friend; Rachel assures Brigit that the ISO visit was the best thing anyone ever did for her.

At 15 months of sobriety, Nola encourages Rachel to return to New York and face her past. Rachel writes Luke a letter apologizing and asking to meet. At their meeting, Luke is initially cold but gradually warms. He admits he was in love with her but said otherwise out of anger. He tells her that on a good day, there was no one better. They part with a fierce embrace, and Rachel believes the relationship is over.

Two weeks later, Luke arrives at Rachel's hostel and shouts up that he loves her, promising to move to Ireland. Rachel tells him she loves him too. Luke climbs the stairs, gets down on one knee, and asks whether getting naked together is out of the question.